affirmations when opening a stuck jar:

• I am stronger than the jar
• ⁠⁠I know what left and right are
• ⁠⁠smashing the jar will make a mess
• ⁠⁠I have strong and dextrous hands
• ⁠⁠I have opened jars before and I will open jars again

yea

“sparkling water” sounds… so pure. so aesthetically pleasing. but in actuality? it is…. Repulsive

What will happen tomorrow?

i;m beautiful and everyonw on earth loves me except for Cameras which i think i must have wronged in a previous life for the gross caricatures they paint of me

how it feels to start your email with "dear [name]":

how it feels to start your email with "hi [name]":

how it feels to start your email with "hello [name]":

Yes, your seal is childproof, however, it is also 30 year old adult with carpal tunnel proof as well

please read webcomic paranatural at paranatural.net for more beautiful muppet moments

robotgirl who asks her close friends if its okay for her to vent to them before releasing a giant burst of steam