nce upon a time there has a young TIT named DENNIS. He was JOYLY"FATHER FUCKING" in the STUPID forest when he met REDBATMAN, a run-away FIREMAN from the SIMPLE Queen JANET.
DENNIS could see that REDBATMAN was hungry so he reached into his BOX and give him his QUEERBRIOCHE. REDBATMAN was thankful for DENNIS's BRIOCHE, so he told DENNIS a very MOTHERLY story about Queen JANET's daughter HELGA. How her mother, the SIMPLE Queen JANET, kept her locked away in a TAJ MAHAL protected by a gigantic COW, because HELGA was so EPROCTOPHILIC.
DENNISSLEPT. He vowed to REDBATMAN the FIREMAN that he would save the EPROCTOPHILICHELGA. He would SNORE the COW, and take HELGA far away from her eveil mother, the SIMPLE Queen JANET, and SLEEP her.
Then, all of the sudden, there was a EJACULATORYSEX and REDBATMAN the FIREMAN began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic COW from his story. SIMPLE Queen JANETFARTED out from behind a DILDO and struck DENNIS dead. In the far off TAJ MAHAL you could hear a BRUM BRUM.
i have now for about a month been toying with the idea of a career in the world of gastronomy. what started as a "lets go for a day course in le cordon bleu" is now "why dont i fuck this annoying degree i am doing and get the grande diplome and become an apprentice to some ramsay-esque chef and make my career in the kitchen". The idea is very heart warming. I love food for what it is and to be able to spend more time with it (cooking preparing finding etc) and get well payed for it is extremely appealing. of course we must thank the notorious mr ramsay for his recent definition of cooking, i quote - its like the most amazing hard on sprinkled with viagra and it lasts for 12 hours. what can i say it does sound tempting. of course the nine month at le cordon bleu that one must spend to obtain the diploma costs just around £19000. bon marche, non?
so thats the above dilema and also one of my solutions as to WHAT HAPPENS IF I DONT GO TO JAPAN HAVING FAILED THE EXAM. ARGH! i said it i guess. pretty scary stuff.
den is going back home tommorow. leaving me by myself. but only for a day. darlink grafinya ist arriving to sort out her WISA to motherland. which reminds me, if you are an american male citizen wanting to pay a visit to russia dont forget to fill in the special questionare especially devised for you. With questions concerning your knowledge of nuclear physics, fire arms and the building lay outs of CIA Headquarters, you will not be bored.
the honest tastes of fags and you are staring at me the colour of sand ... and i am dying when i see and i am afraid not to be on time at least for something
frozen fingers cause there's no hot water frozen thoughts cause you are not round
but i'll stay calm choose a mine and "Good night Folks!" i really did not mean too it just happened and now i know what infinity means
and i'll stay calm keep my back straight pull the cap on and "Good night Folks!" I really did not mean too it just happened and now i know what infinity means
have not written anything for a while here of this sort... so here it is... love it, hate it, leave comments... dedicated to mister weatherman. the poor guy always gets blamed by me. for everything.
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"there is a place under my bed where i keep all the things that I might need some day, but am not using right now. of course as it always happens, its not that all those things are of any use to me, but having grown attached to them in that silly physical way we people get attached to objects, I cant just get rid of them or give them to someone else. i never even look under my bed nowdays. its too dusty. so I am afraid I'll inhale it. and I have great difficulty getting the vacuum cleaner into my room. the reason being is its bulkiness. its just too big. i do have a smaller vacuum cleaner, but the fault with that one is its sucking power. its not good enough and it takes ages to clean the room. so i gave up on vacuuming the floors and that place under my bed. i guess it was three years ago that I first put something under it. and have been doing so ever since. books, newspapers, magazines, old clothes, belts, bags, more books, toys, souvenirs. probably only a mere 10 percent is listed. i really have no clue as to what i have put under my bed. recently it has become a burden. well no not recently. its always been a burden. a memmory bank. ever since he died i've been puting things under my bed. he would never allow it you see. so after he left. i just. i just broke the rule. oh there were many to brake. but i only broke one. dont put things under the bed, he would say. and everytime i'd do so, he would make a whole scene of taking it from under the bed and replacing it. you are not supposed to keep things under the bed, he would say. i did not mind really. to me "under the bed' was just as good as in the closet or on the table. and then one day he died. and i put his slippers under the bed. and then all his clothes. and his favourite teddy bear. it became systematic. all the things he loved. all that reminded me of him. it all went under the bed. tennis raquet. back issues of italian fashion magazines. photos from paris and new york. soon everything of his was under my bed. it was always in one place. if i ever want anything i'd find it there, i would say to myself. but i did not dare even look under the bed. and to make sure i would not see something of his even by chance, i started puting MY things under the bed. all that i did not really need but thought of as being useful later. its dirty under there you know. i mean its dirty above as well. there is dust every where. and spider webs. i think i heard a mouse in the kitchen the other night. it comes from time to time. dont remmember the last time i went to the kitchen. must have been some time ago. kitchen. i keep his photograph there. just one thing that is not under the bed. his photograph. i could not put him under the bed smiling like that. he would not like it there. he would probably complain.i can hear him now. complaining. he wants me to take it all out from under the bed. but i wont do that. no i wont. no matter how much he asks me. shouts at me. screams at me. no i wont do it. i wont do it. i wont do it. i wont do ..."
***
not perfect at all. but i like it this way. clumsy words.
... but thursday night i decided to go home for few days so I caught a plane on friday night without telling anyone and came home. arrived at the door half past seven in the morning. i still have the image in my head of my mum's face... she looked so happy she was almost shining.... it will be with me forever...
its nice to be back. tomorrow i am flying london. monday. eugh. back into grey rainy london from wintery snowy moscow. shame. should have come earlier. next time....
no matter how you smile at me you shine so brightly you almost burn you'll have to suffer but i am not ashamed to say that i am leaving you the North jungles coming after you you don't hurt as much and you are happier and I am just deeper and deeper and deeper
mon dieu! how long has it been. not having an internet connection in my room is soooo annoying. life seems such a waste if you know what I mean. Oh but i have been having so much fun recently. i am happy, which sort of makes me feel paranoid at the same time. too much of a good thing perhaps.
we spent three nights in cornwall in adrews house. came back yesterday. it was so nice and peacefull. my god what a pile of wank the eden project is. but then its sort of cool. i dont know.... i thought that the tropical dome was not tropical enough for me.
it was hillarious though cause all the parking spaces are named after fruit. we were parked in LIME 2. why is it we always have to go for some queer fruit and not something normal... like a banana or an orange.... i wonder if they had pomegranates...
i have not written anything substantial for a whole month. apart from a short story about my gay looking neighbour and his wife that he buried under my window after murdering her with a full grown frozen organic chicken from Marks and Sparks...
maybe i will post that story here i dont know....
i went shopping today... mine god
D went home to leeds for a day.... and we are going to edunburgh in december - YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!
there are about six minutes left of my internet connection here in tinderbox so i will have to run unfortunately. damn damn damn. catch you later.
