Life

Hi. I just joined this community.
I am not sure wether I should even be here.
I've been told I fall under the battered woman category, but I don't necessarily agree.
I know I am sad and that my ex-boyfriends made me feel that way. I feel worthless and depressed. I don't know where to go or what to to.
Maybe I just joined because I needed people to talk to. I don't know...

If anyone has ever visited a domestic violence webpage or read a book on the subject, can you let me know what you thought about it? I'm running a website Amanda's Dent In The Domestic Violence Universe The site is dedicated to reviewing the information about domestic violence that is available to the public. There's a special page about Sexual Abuse and also a poetry page. Both are under construction. If you'd like to submit your poetry I will be happy to put it up. I also have a page with some Tori Amos lyrics. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

found this little community thing....seems like a decent place to be...alot of myself seems to be here already...

i cut...i bruise...i bleed....i'm bipolar depressive...high school junoir...

favorite songs: iris, goo goo dolls; crucify, tori amos; silent all these years, tori amos; only happy when it rains, garbage; playboy mommy, tori amos

i'm in band at school...bisexual...Wiccan....parents are divorced....little brother....one best friend.....i'll shut up now.

Strange as it may seem, me being a cutter and a suicidal borderline among other things, I really have this passion and love for life. Even when I'm up, down, cutting, or just plain 'normal'; I can't imagine not being alive. On the other hand, I constantly question my existence, and I ponder the pathetic future of society and what my role in it will be. All the dreams I've had are gone. sanity, love, raising children, a happy family. All I really have is my education, and I wonder how much it matters if I can't ever fit with the rest of the world. I accepted tonite that maybe I'm just not the marrying kind. Lord knows I can't stand to be around me sometimes. So I've accepted spinsterhood, should it come down to that. God, it's so pathetic. I'm only 19. I have the rest of my life ahead of me. And I don't care anymore. Life is painful. Tough shit. What can I do? I used to wonder about the meaning of life around age 15. And I'd get very depressed. And I was very alienated. Nobody could seem to give me an answer. And I felt ostracised for asking questions. And today I won't be silenced. I watch my aquaintances-friends get drunk every night. Why? I know they've been damaged like me. They all talk shit behind each others backs. And I don't understand the mechanisms of these people. Do I even want to? I just want to be accepted. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places.

Sex on the beach, yum.
My heart still may hurt, but at least I know it's still working. I had a dream last night of my ex-fiance. I've had this kind of dream about him before since we split up. In the dream, we'd get this close to working things out but we never quite made it. What's significant about this is that today would've been our two year anniversary. Coincidence? I think not.

Life's a bitch, then you die. Why must everything change all at once? Moving, medical problems, friend problems, school... I'm sorry if my heart breaking ruined your day; but oh well, sometimes it be's that way.

I stumbled across your community this morning and the description intrigued me enough to include myself amoungst you...
My life is a mixture of highs and lows, tears and laughter, good days and bad ones, enough to make a sane person go crazy....

I guess I just wanted to stop in and say Hello....

i just found this from someone's journal and i'm happy i found it. tori amos' song little earthquakes is my favorite of her and i like to say is my theme song.

and... i'll shut up now.

Hello, I have just joined this commmunity.

What drew me in was that line that is used in the description of this community. It is one of my favorite Tori lyrics and sometimes could also be my mantra.

"Little Earthquakes" has always been one of my favorite songs of hers.

My life seems to be such a swirl of love, happiness, depression, and confusion that I don't know where to start in introducing myself. If you are actually curious about me, visit my journal, or check out my website.

Does anyone else feel that their life moves way too fast for them to make decisions? I think so. But in so many ways, it moves so slowly...

I have two lives.

I have one life where I'm happy, in love, a great parent, a good friend. This is how everyone knows me.

I have another life where I'm manic, annoyed, can't stand my SO and I'm a doormat. This is the life I'm posting from. You know, I even had to create another journal, just so my other life could have somewhere to vent.

Is this a split personality, or just me being two-faced? Am I allowed to keep secrets?