kat 🐭

the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also

consuming mass amounts of media related to my hyperfixation isnt enough i need to eat it

Christians with the Eucharist.

this is the funniest fucking reply ive gotten on this post everyone go home

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

Palamedes's death call it a gifted kid burnout

Me and my girlfriend did a lil photo shoot in our regalia back in December

Oh we’re engaged now btw 💍

The sexual dimorphism with which VtM fanartists draw Nosferatu OCs is worse than cartoon animal sexual dimorphism and fantasy orc sexual dimorphism combined

By Kelly Pringle

I love game changer bringing Becca back every season for a social deduction game. My girl is so good at them, I think they should design an episode specifically for her.

I love when people try to gotcha me on my stance that all sports should be gender integrated with "even American football???" because I can instantly come back with "oh lmao, no, I don't think ANYONE should play American football at all, it's way too dangerous" like nice try but I know no amount of testosterone is going to protect you from the profound, life ruining health issues caused by getting repeated severe concussions over the course of several years. No one should play this sport.

An AU where everything is the same but instead of a saltwater pool it is a ball pit.

More under the cut ദ്ദി꒰´｡•᎑•`꒱ა

I think i’m my own dead wife

In light of Wattpad being struck with even tighter censorship rules, I think we all need to make a concentrated effort to be even freakier on AO3

"Is it a sin to feel superior to an imbecile?" is one of those things I need framed on my wall.

[ID: tweet by @/calebsaysthings: “bored with movies that have eighteen celebrities in the cast. give me four unknown freaks and a script from somebody who genuinely isn’t well.” /end. ID]

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

The Hat Man is our greatest export

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.