THE TALOS PRINCIPLE II: Road to Elysium

i was labelling stuff today and this lady scoffed at me and i was like hi and she was like writing with ur left hand is immoral. its 2014 and someone actually said that to my face

Mega Demondrug Boosts your attack power even more than a regular Demondrug.

CHAPPELL ROAN costumes designed by James Nguyen & AC Gottlieb

gif of my friend's cat

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

• For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.
• Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.
• Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.
• I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.
• I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.
• Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

one of my earliest video game memories was my neighbor from down the street burning me a copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon onto a CD and giving it to me for free, with the caveat that one day a week he would sit behind me and backseat game HARD. like "build this here, okay now build this here, no not there, HERE, okay now make a path here," etc etc. i never minded it at the time, i genuinely had no idea how to play so i thought he was teaching me. years later i learned that him and his family were Orthodox Jewish and him backseat gaming me was his way of getting around the Sabbath ban on playing video games

wait for me

bye (echos)

toot sound effect too

some kind of amphibious two-stroke engine

sometimes the absence is more compelling. let's lack something and then feel its presence forever in the empty space where it should be.

Primadonna worm all i ever wanted was to squirm