dear everyone on tumblr who needs to host images elsewhere (e.g. to embed on ao3 etc), please give squidge a go!! it's free, it's nonprofit and it's geared towards fandom so nsfw images won't get deleted!! and please stop using imgur if you can because they blocked the uk rather than acquiesce to the fucking internet safety laws, which I can't really hold against em but it does mean all imgur pictures just show up as big purple boxes now

i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.

as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."

NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING

ADHD hack that actually works:

Works best with only 2 tasks. One should be physical (like an exercise, arts n crafts, play with animal, etc), and the other one should be mental (like studying, writing, reading, etc.). Pick a very small increment of task completeness, like writing/reading a single paragraph, solving one math problem, knitting one row, or 5 reps of an exercise. Once you reach that very small increment, switch to the other task and complete that increment. YOU HAVE TO SWITCH AT THAT POINT SO YOU DONT BUILD MOMENTUM IN ONE SPOT. Try to eliminate time wasters like sitting in a chair or moving to another room if you can. Don’t go for more than 20 turns at once.

It will genuinely shock you how much you’re able to get done and how little you get distracted. I am completely unmedicated and I can do two tasks I’m dreading at once like this.

ALT

i've always hated this image because it implies i would try to sleep as far away from the corpse as possible. i would not fucking do that. i would tuck them in and get right in beside them. shame on you.

Didn’t this Master tell you he’d follow you anywhere?

"What the hell are you doing with that?" Shen Jiu asked.

Shen Yuan rocked the bundle in his arms gently.

"Jiu-ge this is Binghe. Binghe," he continued, addressing the wide eyed little baby swaddled in his arms. "This is your uncle Shen Jiu."

He frowned at the baby. The baby's whole face scrunched as it regarded him back.

He had eventually convinced his didi to explain the plot of this 'book' they were living in to him. He could tell Shen Yuan was leaving things out, but the basic shape of the story was obvious. An orphan goes through hardships, at Shen Jiu's own hands apparently, and then discovers that all along he was more powerful than anyone else and royalty to boot.

It didn't take a genius to figure out who this baby was.

"So this is the boy that's going to kill me?" he asked, examining the pathetic little thing.

Shen Yuan elbowed him. "No. Because you're going to be nice to him and I'm to make sure he grows up well so he won't have any reason to kill anyone once he's grown."

Shen Jiu had a feeling things wouldn't be so simple. You must earn your ending, the machine had said...But for his brother's sake he nodded.

"I won't be mean to the little brat," he said. He certainly wouldn't be coddling him as much as didi was sure to though. "Where'd you even find him?"

"I pulled him out of the Luo River," Shen Yuan said. "At least our mother left us on dry land."

Shen Jiu scoffed. "The river would have been kinder."

He frowned at the baby again. Not that the little thing knew what a problem it was. It was just looking at him, and Shen Yuan, with big wide eyes still. Maybe it was slow.

"Shizun won't like this," Shen Jiu pointed out.

"I don't care."

"It might cost you your shot at being Peak Lord."

Shen Yuan shrugged. "That's your job anyway. I'm just going to hang around and teach the little disciples because it's easy and you hate them anyway."

"I do." Shen Jiu said solemnly. Anyone under the age of sixteen made his head hurt. And they were on thin ice after that too.

Shen Yuan smiled at him like he was being funny, but before he could double down something else occured to him.

"Has the brute seen him yet?" he asked.

Didi rolled his eyes at the nickname but answered. "No, Liu Qingge hasn't seen Binghe yet. Why?"

"I want to be there when he does. I want to see him try to figure out how he got you pregnant."

Shen Yuan flushed bright red and smacked Shen Jiu's arm lightly. "Gege!! Don't be weird we're just friends!"

"I would feel bad for him but well, it's Qingge."

Shen Yuan snorted. The extensive betting pool on when he'd realize the brute had a crush on him was safe for now it seemed.

He was going to tease his brother more when they were interrupted by a familiar little rat in yellow robes.

"Sorry, sorry!" Shang Qinghua whinged, avoiding their eyes. "I have an important document for your Shizun do you know where she is?"

"Just give it here." Shen Jiu snapped. They all knew Shizun was at home, she always was at this time of day. Shang Qinghua just didn't want to actually deliver whatever this was.

"Thank yo-" Shang Qinghua's pathetic reply ended abruptly when he noticed the baby Shen Yuan was holding.

He said something under his breath as Shen Jiu took the scroll from him. Shen Jiu didn't understand it- but his brother went still next to him.

"What the fuck do you mean 'WTF'?" Didi snapped. "Why the fuck do you know English??"

Shang Qinghua gaped at him. "I fucking knew there was something weird about you!" he said. "Why do you speak English??"

The next moment Shen Jiu found his arms full of half-demon baby and Shen Yuan was standing up, wailing on Shang Qinghua with his fan while the An Ding Head Disciple cowered.

In his arms the baby started fussing. "Oh shut up," he told it without heat. He stuck a finger in its mouth. "Not everything is about you."

The baby calmed immediately. It sucked happily on his finger and it's eyes started to drift closed.

Shen Yuan hadn't seemed to notice this interaction. But Shang Qinghua was looking at him like he'd grown a second head, while also attempting to play dead to get Shen Yuan to stop hitting him.

"Not that I don't approve," Shen Jiu said. "But care to explain why we're beating up Shang Qinghua?"

Ning Yingying knows her husband is a bad person. She just realized too late. Less than a year into their marriage, Ning Yingying has become nothing more than a bed warmer in a set of seven. She isn’t an assassin like Liu Mingyan or a general like Sha Hualing. She didn’t help Luo Binghe ingratiate and take over a new sect. She wasn’t a conquest of old enemies. She knows that the only care her husband has for her is reliant upon her being a safe, comforting pair of arms to lay in, to comb his hair and nurse his grudges. Already she knows she’ll never be named empress. She doesn’t want to be. All she wants to kill the sick bastard that tore the limbs, tongue, and eye from the man that raised her. She wants to wake up on a firm bed in a bamboo forest, secure in the knowledge that Luo Binghe is dead, and can’t hurt anyone she cares about any more.

So she draws a bath for her husband. He’s sore after another unsuccessful campaign against Yue Qingyuan. He’s already taken out his anger for the day— the jade pass to the water prison still hangs on his belt. Ning Yingying undresses him, flatters him, rubs his shoulders like a docile, doting wife should. She helps him into the bath, grabs the salts and powders from the hutch, and activates the acid. The fire and heat it produces is enough to singe off several inches of her hair, but it does the job. In minutes, there is no more Luo Binghe that can regenerate. Just a nasty pool of foul smelling liquid.

The takeover was far easier than expected. Liu Mingyan doesn’t want the sect destroyed. Sha Hualing and Mobei Jun respect anyone capable of killing Luo Binghe. Little Palace Mistress won’t miss her hands too terribly. Within a day, Ning Yingying became an empress, and within a fortnight she dismantled an empire. She took her Jiu-jiu from that filthy place her own naïveté condemned him to. Huan Hua is little more than a vassal sect to Cang Qiong, its riches going a long way to repair the damages done by its former master. Even so, things can’t go back to how they were. To say nothing of the lives lost, Shen Qingqiu cannot and will not return to his former post. In the end, Ning Yingying does get to wake up on a firm bed in a bamboo forest— only as its master instead of its student. Every year she pulls in droves of children from the muddy roads. She cleans their faces and bandages their scrapes, and tells them there won’t be any more wars. She will make sure there are no more Luo Binghe’s.

Imposter Syndrome - Mikkeneko

| Patreon | Kofi |

I think, on some level, that Shen Yuan is like enrichment for Airplane Bro's enclosure. I think Airplane Bro kind of fucking LOVES having this guy around. Like, I do think their relationship is nuanced, weird and full of contradictions and not always good for them, but I also think that some chaotic part of Shang Qinghua honestly likes having his #1 hater weirdo running around completely fucking up his world.

Shen Qingqiu, grabbing Shang Qinghua by the shoulders: "Why didn't anyone TELL ME that Binghe is GAY NOW?! I'm going to die because of MONSTER DICK?!?!?!"

Shang Qinghua: (internally, probably only half-consciously) "Incredible. Amazing. How did I live without you? You torture me with your bullshit. You complete me in every possible way. I think we might be soulmates and we should make out about it. I hate you. I love you. You mean nothing to me and everything to me. This isn't your story and you stole it from me. I wrote this for you without even knowing you existed. You are a fascinating mystery that I will never solve. I will throw you under the bus at the first opportunity and yet I can't stop risking my life to help you. Your stupid game of gay murder chicken with my emotionally and mentally unstable protagonist is going to destroy the world and kill us all and I've never felt more alive. You have changed me as a person. Let's do this forever."

Shang Qinghua: (out loud) "Lol, sucks to be you, bro. At least you can get laid."

I think, on some level, that Shen Yuan is like enrichment for Airplane Bro's enclosure. I think Airplane Bro kind of fucking LOVES having this guy around. Like, I do think their relationship is nuanced, weird and full of contradictions and not always good for them, but I also think that some chaotic part of Shang Qinghua honestly likes having his #1 hater weirdo running around completely fucking up his world.

Shen Qingqiu, grabbing Shang Qinghua by the shoulders: "Why didn't anyone TELL ME that Binghe is GAY NOW?! I'm going to die because of MONSTER DICK?!?!?!"

Shang Qinghua: (internally, probably only half-consciously) "Incredible. Amazing. How did I live without you? You torture me with your bullshit. You complete me in every possible way. I think we might be soulmates and we should make out about it. I hate you. I love you. You mean nothing to me and everything to me. This isn't your story and you stole it from me. I wrote this for you without even knowing you existed. You are a fascinating mystery that I will never solve. I will throw you under the bus at the first opportunity and yet I can't stop risking my life to help you. Your stupid game of gay murder chicken with my emotionally and mentally unstable protagonist is going to destroy the world and kill us all and I've never felt more alive. You have changed me as a person. Let's do this forever."

Shang Qinghua: (out loud) "Lol, sucks to be you, bro. At least you can get laid."