Just because I'm different

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Hey guys...
This week has been shitty. As you might have guessed I'm posting here because the week has involved an amount of self-harm, cutting in my case. Entering college has thrust me into the arms of a whole lot of conflicting opinions. I've met a bunch of people that have the same opinion about self-harm that I've always and only heard: it's bad, rah rah rah, don't do it, rah rah rah, I don't understand. But I've met a few that either don't like it but accept it, and some that think it's totally fine, as long as you're careful and conscious of what you're doing. It astounded me. Part of me is glad to know it doesn't freak out at least someone (but I think all the ones I've talked to have done some form of self-mutilation). But part of me still thinks it's not ok, and not healthy (which, very technically speaking, it's not). How do you guys feel about self-harm? Do you think that's because of the way you've been brought up to think of it by your family/peers? Were you ever surprised to learn about anyone else's opinion about it? I'd love to know your thoughts...Despite the few new people I've met these past two years, cutting still feels like a very lonely habit...

Hey everybody, just me. I'm not even sure if the creators of this journal are still active much on livejournal, but I want to help keep it going if I can. How is everyone?

 Hi there!I am an ex pro-ana, cutter, depressed self hater who found hope in my Saviour and Creator. There is always hope for you, no matter what! Did you know that you have a very special purpose on earth?? You can look at my blog at http://savingemptysouls.wordpress.com xxxx from a friend who understands your pain...

I experimented with a Bic pen cap yesterday. You wouldn't think those things could do much but I was actually able to use it to scratch some designs into my arm that lasted for about 7-8 hours. I played tic-tac-toe on my wrist. It didn't last long enough to cause me trouble or serious injury but the aesthetic was nice. That's a big part of it for me, I love the look of it. I'm not much of a fan for pain but obviously I can tolerate it to suit my needs...There's just something satisfying about seeing my own blood come out of me by my own volition. It gives me a feeling of control when I feel like I can't control anything else. It's nice. If I'm careful, what else matters? It's my body.
If you guys self-harm, why? For aesthetics, the way it feels, or both? Neither?

Hey everybody...I haven't written in this journal in AGES. I just started my LJ back up a few months ago after years of stagnancy. I had no idea this journal was so active!!! Two of my best friends in the whole wide world were the creators, but I'm not sure they use LJ much anymore. Either way I suppose it's fate that brought me back here. I used to cut a couple years ago, then met the man of my dreams, so to speak, and managed to work things out for three years, with few mishaps. Then college came. After sleeping together one day, he said he didn't love me anymore. Kinda wish I'd had a chance to put my clothes on at least first. Awesome. It wasn't a malignant thing, he was as heartbroken as I, but apparently adapted better. Now I'm back to cutting every few days and have fallen somewhat in love with cigars (which I can enjoy legally) and vermouth (which unfortunately I can't.) That's my story. Since it's been a few years since my last posting here, (and since the circumstances of my membership have changed) I'll fill out the survey again.

[x] Name? Call me Ellie.
[x] Age? 19
[x] Location? East Coast US
[x] diagnnosed? yup
[x] disorders? Depression, Anxiety
[x] Reason for joining? It feels good and appropriate to be back.
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long? Yup. On and off since freshman year of high school, now frequently.
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why? No. I see nothing wrong with it.
[x] Weapon of choice? Detached blade from shaving razors
[x] Area of choice? legs for practicality, sometimes a little bit on my arms for kicks and giggles.
[x] Randomness? I am in love with life. Unfortunately, I don't think it feels the same way about me.

I'm glad to be back. I exhibit self-destructive behavior in a more extreme sense than a hefty amount of people. A lot of you on this community do. It feels wonderful to be around people for whom, ironically enough, this is normal.

[x] Name?
Ryan

[x] Age?
Soon to be 25

[x] Location?
Florida

[x] diagnnosed?
Never let anyone try. Unofficially diagnosed with depression.

[x] disorders?
Uncertain, honestly

[x] Reason for joining?
What most people consider 'normal' I consider monotony. I thought perhaps this community might offer me a place where I can be myself for a change without worrying about people abandoning me once they see who I am, and who I can be but try not to be. I am not normal, I never will be, I gave up trying to be ten years ago.

[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long?
I've only done it sparingly in the past, and I don't know if what I do know qualifies.

[x] If so, do you want to stop?
What I do now keeps me from destroying fragile things. So no.

[x] Weapon of choice (In the past)?
Knives, slamming my head into brick/metal/wood walls.

[x] Weapon of choice (Now)?
Punching solid metal doors until I can't feel my hands.

[x] Area of choice?
Arms

[x] Randomness?
Only the truly insane think there's nothing wrong with them.

[x] Name?
meaghan (aka spryte)
[x] Age?
24
[x] Location?
mobile, alabama, usa
[x] diagnnosed?
severe manic depression
[x] disorders?
self injury, ana/mia
[x] Reason for joining?
it looked interesting and i like surrounding myself with people of a like mind
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long?
yes, 11+ years now
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why?
i do and i don't, it's a love-hate relationship
[x] Weapon of choice?
knife, razor
[x] Area of choice?
anywhere.
[x] Randomness?
when i get bored i dye my hair

[x] Name? Valerie (or Chikara, if you prefer)
[x] Age? 30
[x] Location? North Lima, OH
[x] diagnosed? yes
[x] disorders? bipolar disorder I, borderline personality disorder
[x] Reason for joining? to find people like me who are okay with being crazy
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long? i did briefly as a teen with razors, then again last year by burning
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why? i thought i wanted to stop, but lately, i really crave it again...
[x] Weapon of choice? matches & incense sticks
[x] Area of choice? bedroom or bathroom
[x] Randomness? it sucks to be a mother and not have a clue what to do sometimes...

[x] Name? I prefer Raven. unoriginal, but temporary.
[x] Age? 15
[x] Location? South africa
[x] diagnosed? Yes.
[x] disorders? Depression, with some of i-don't-know-what thrown in for fun.
[x] Reason for joining? I need to talk to people who are not pretending.
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long? I used to, quite heavily, still have the scars, but I've been clean for +/- 7 months.
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why? Stopped. Ruined my life.
[x] Weapon of choice? Razor, craft knife, safety pin, anything clean (i.e. not rusty etc) i could get my hands on.
[x] Area of choice? underside of arms, hips, thighs, ankles.
[x] Randomness? After going on mild antidepressants for about 8 months, i am no longer so depressed. Now i just alternately panic and distance myself from reality. I find little habits and addictions, which last from a day to a few months.