plant lesbian

‘beyond the scope of this paper’ is a dear friend to me. I Am Not Fucking Talking About That

"Look I can stay on track or this paper can be three times as long, your choice."

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

But who is the single human cast member in this tale? Who gets to put in an Oscar-worthy performance alongside the Muppets and what role are they to play?

There’s no single human, everyone is a Muppet except for one scene. Circe, played by Janice, turns Odysseus’s crew into humans who still behave animalistic and are all played by Academy Award winning actors.

Every time you go in a public place and something ISN’T disgusting it’s because somebody cleaned it. Every time you feel comfortable using a public bathroom or sitting at a restaurant table or setting something on a gas station counter or playing on a playground it’s because somebody cleaned it.

Thank you to everyone who cleans the world, especially those who are underpaid and under appreciated.

I worked in a supermarket for 7 years and I don't think I can understate just how much cleaning you had to do for it to look clean (it very often where not in the places you aren't supposed to see)

True for food service, retail establishments, gyms, outdoor areas, schools, religious buildings, office buildings, hospitals and medical buildings, etc. People usually only notice when a space is NOT clean, meanwhile every time a space is clean it’s only because of the diligent work of janitors, maintenance staff, custodians, parks workers, or volunteers.

Tonight I saw fireflies for the first time this year and I've had to change our ways to get them back

In this neighborhood people are constantly moving here to get away from the city and live in the woods, unfortunately they also bring their yard poisoning practices. I stopped seeing fireflies until I got into some ecology centered gardening habits

We've been commited to using no pesticides, no herbicides, native gardening, and leaving large amounts of leaf liter over winter.

Walking around tonight I saw hundreds of fireflies glowing in our yard but beyond our property line was desolate darkness with at most one or two glowing insects. We are facing a mass extinction event at breakneck pace. If you have influence over any spaces which you can provide better ecological services than currently exists i hope you'll read this and try it.

I'm lucky enough that I never really stopped seeing fireflies, but I have definitely noticed a drop in them in recent years. Here's some tips from someone trying to plant more native plants in addition to not using any chemicals in the yard:

I hope these tips help out someone and I hope the firefly population rebounds.

Whem buying natives, ask about ECOTYPE. One species of wildflower may have a wide distribution and most nurseries and seed sources don't keep track. Your local ecotype for a plant is the 100% best option but nearby ecotypes are also good.

For example: I'm in Virginia, on the coastal plain, so VA ecotype is best. But eastern MD/NC works just fine, as does DE. If I were in western Virginia, I could get WV, western MD/NC, or eastern KY/TN.

Also - local native plants don't need all that special soil and fertilizer. They're adapted to the soil already in your yard. Give them the right sun and water conditions, and they should be fine. Add some mulch till they're established.

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

when it happens, there will be a crab rave like no other

every day i ask the crabs “is now the time?”

and every day the crabs sadly reply with a negative

One of these days, the crabs are going to get tired of waiting for the yanks to learn to shoot straight and will tear the bastard apart on the green.

Butch as a gender is so much fun. I'm a mom to my cats. I'm a brother to my friend. I'm a sister to my sister. I'm whatever gender makes a joke land. This might be the first time where I don't feel like I'm performing a gender, it just comes naturally

being called an old soul when you were kid and knowing you just got diagnosed as a weird cunt

when i say my gender changes to the tune of the bit i mean a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if he can’t then god forbid women do anything

the thing is is that you'll be like. 11 years old and someone will tell you that you have to shave your legs. either it will be your mum or a friend or a mean girl in the p.e. changing rooms telling you how gross it is that you have hair on your legs. so then you ask your mum about it and she says yep you have to take this razor blade and drag it across your skin under running water and just hope you don't cut yourself too badly and you have to do this every single week and maybe more frequently than that and you have to do that for fucking ever. the rest of your fucking life. because the hair that grows naturally on your legs is gross and ugly and people will laugh and boys won't like you! of course boys have hair on THEIR legs. but that's normal and even attractive and it's just not the same for you. and a few years later they'll say well you obviously should also be shaving your armpits. and then it's your arms and then it's that you have to wax your upper lip and pluck your eyebrows and ewww why do you have hair on your fingers and your toes.. you need to shave that too. and then suddenly you need to buy spray that will make invisible hairs on your face visible so that you can shave that too! and it's expensive and time consuming and difficult and it HURTS but they just say beauty is pain babe! and you're not allowed to say that maybe if beauty is pain then you don't actually want to be beautiful

and i'm so fucking tired of girls who do shave being defensive when this topic comes up because then i have to say well of COURSE it's your personal choice whether you want to shave or not! no offense! maybe it makes you feel empowered! you do it for YOURSELF! because that's bullshit and i actually DO think you should stop shaving your legs because it's not fucking empowering it's insane. if you give it more than a minute of thought it can't possibly be empowering. you're in a PRISON!!!!! and i was in the prison too okay and i know it seems hard to break out but i promise you it's not. and the more people we can break out of the prison the easier it gets for everyone else i swear to god. please

the internet seems like a distant dream

whatever we are on rn is not the internet. It's ads

speaking of characteristics of old-growth forests, the cycles of great old trees living and dying create effects on the landscape that cannot be fully replicated once destroyed.

there are multiple ways for a tree to die, each with their own impacts on the ecosystem. Many trees die standing, becoming starkly bare pillars of standing deadwood with increasingly fewer branches and more sharply whitened surfaces as the bark falls off and the branches break, the smaller branches first and then the larger ones. Standing deadwood is vital for housing lots and lots of bird species and it also has an undeniable sexiness and charisma

Trees broken by wind, snapping off at some point up the trunk, are often hollow in the middle from heart rot fungi. I don't think the fungi actually kill the tree, since the center of the tree (the heartwood) is dead anyways, but they do structurally weaken it.

One of the most dramatic tree deaths is windthrow. This happens to large trees that are solid all the way through and not easily broken by the forces of wind; instead, the roots are wrenched violently out of the ground, creating a bowl-shaped hole in the ground with a huge mound of twisted tree roots standing 5 or 6 feet tall next to it.

The death of a tree by windthrow feels very sad, because the tree seemed to be thriving up until that point, but the effect on the ecosystem is very fascinating. The hole in the ground where the root ball was torn up creates a shaded, sheltered area, sometimes filling with water to become a small pool. The root ball itself, right next to it, becomes a tall pile of soil and decomposing wood.

When walking in the forest, I often notice strange mounds rising from the layer of leaf litter, covered in lush carpets of moss, like bustling moss metropolises rising out of lowlands that only have scattered moss towns. Elevated from the forest floor, the moss-hills do not become covered with leaf litter. In some cases, these distinctive moss-hills are still visibly connected to the fallen trunk of a windthrown tree; in other cases, the tree trunk has almost completely decayed, and only the mound created by the root ball remains.

I read once in an article that the creation of humps and valleys by the windthrown tree roots is characteristic of old growth forests. That is, the forest has existed so long, with trees living majestically and dying violently in it, that the ground is no longer a smooth plane, but humpy and bumpy and pitted and pooled from centuries of trees dying by windthrow.

My observations seem to agree that these windthrown-tree-humps have unique ecology, particularly in terms of their thriving moss colonies that remain even after the tree that originally died has rotted away. They would create a million little variations on light and moisture level, gathering leaf litter in some places and keeping it away from others. Variations create multiplying amounts of biodiversity due to the increased amount of niches to fill.

Not to mention that hills and valleys increase the total surface area of the forest floor, creating more forest per forest.

All gays will go to hellsite

What if in hellsite but not gay

NO!

String identified: A ga g t t at t t t ga T tag g a Ag agag Acctac ! T tag g a Ag agag Acctac

Closest match: Psylliodes chrysocephala genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Cabbage Stem Flea Beetle

(image source)

Funny growing up in the late 2000s and seeing constant "don't text and drive" warnings, PSAs telling us to put our phones down behind the wheel, wait until you're home to send that text, a phone-distracted driver is a deadly driver etc etc

Only for modern car manufacturers to be like "we made the car a phone :) now you have to text and drive to change the radio station :)"