odyssey dashboard simulator

🚣‍♂️ captain.odysseus

to be so honest neither are looking great but sometimes u gotta make tough decisions. nobody tell my crew about this btw

65 notes

⬜ crewmate-238-deactivated12109

the sirens are dangerous to YOU. i understand them though. we are holding hands and singing and they're not even eating me

🧜‍♀️ siren.girl.40 Follow

no we’re not

⚔️ 0restes

OP being deactivated really adds something here

🎵 demodocus.sings.a.lot Follow

the sirens killed him

🐅 circe.without.mercy

62,234 notes

🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka

just fucked up so bad i met queen helen from sparta and called her "helen of troy" in front of her husband who literally spent ten years fighting a war to get her back FROM TROY. about to throw myself into the sea

💅 face.that.launched.1000.ships Follow

omg no worries babygirl come back anytime :))) happens to everyone

🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka

was no one going to tell me helen of troy had a tumblr

🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka

FUCK i did it again

56,329 notes

⬜ crewmate-24-deactivated9823

for real though has anyone seen elpenor

#i could have sworn he was with us when we were at circes??

4 notes

⬜ crewmate-438-deactivated5764

dreaming of burger made of helios' cattle rn. mmm

⛰️ oracle-at-delphi Follow

it is actually insane that people are reblogging this. do you know how disrespectful this is to helios and to all of the gods?? those are literally sacred cattle, i shouldn't be seeing odysseus' crew blogging about how they want to make them into burgers. it's not funny and it's not a joke.

⬜ crewmate-438-deactivated5764

#it was gonna be such a perfect day for a bbq but its stormy all the sudden #:( #oh well i guess we will just eat our burgers inside

20,572 notes

🐗 antinous420

how long could it possibly take to weave a fucking shroud

📷 ithaca-fact-checker Follow

fun fact! it can actually take 1,543 years to weave a burial shroud for one’s father in law, depending on the materials, style, and craftsman!

🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka

ayyy ithaca fact checker i missed you

🐗 antinous420

who the hell is running this account

#that has to be a joke right #otherwise that would mean that like only an immortal could weave these #ik athena is goddess of weaving but she cant be the only one doing it #right???

322 notes

🏐 what.up.its.nausica

not the random naked man i found on my shore who i almost got betrothed to being odysseus king of ithaca are you KIDDING me

🏄 pisistratus-son-of-nestor

i thought he was dead???

🚣‍♂️ captain.odysseus

im not

🏄 pisistratus-son-of-nestor

@ telemakhos.of.ithaca @ queen-penelope-official HELLO???

23,753 notes

🐅 circe.without.mercy

actually disgusting that people are still following @/calyps0 when she literally kept odysseus captive on her island for seven years. yes odysseus is incredibly problematic and he should be held accountable for actions. yes i dont support what he did to polyphemus and i will block anyone who said that was deserved. but he literally has a wife and son he needs to get back to and it's disgusting that she tried to impede him like this

🏖️ calyps0 Follow

hey what was going on when he stayed at your place for a year

🏖️ calyps0 Follow

lmfao she blocked me

#girl this situation is messyyyy

16,422 notes

🦉 goddess-of-wisdom

why is everyone so mad at odysseus. he’s just a silly little guy. my silly little mortal. he does tricks. free him

🔱 earthshaker Follow

he blinded my son

🦉 goddess-of-wisdom

ok??? have you considered that maybe your son was being a little bitch

45,890 notes

🚣‍♂️ captain.odysseus

lmfaoooo ive been sending anon hate to polyphemus and he still doesn’t know it was me, odysseus, son of laertes sacker of cities king of ithaca who lives at ithaca palace and is currently sailing home on the aegean sea. click the read more to track my voyage home

Read more

#what are you gonna do about it big guy #nobody cares

5,738 notes

👁️pol.y.phe.mus Follow

when i find whoever it is that is sending me these you are going to be so sorry

3 notes

👑 queen-penelope-official

like this post if you want to be included in the archery contest tomorrow!

#may the best shot win!

108 likes

🍽️ suitor-37

anyone noticed the quality of penelope’s wines at ithaca palace has kind of sucked lately

🕶️ ordinary.beggar.dont.worry Follow

i have a strong feeling that you won’t have to worry about this for much longer :)

17 notes

No nuance.

why is everything a dead wife to you people.

my dead skateboarding cousin

Memento Throckmori

I KNOW SOME OF YOU ARE FAKE LOSERS BECAUSE IT GETS NOTICEABLY QUIETER HERE ON FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS

And on fingers in his mouth friday of all days

They should invent a lüften that keeps outside noises outside.

recently I've been noticing the sun setting earlier than it used to. enshittification?

Hab bemerkt, dass die Sonne in letzter Zeit früher als sonst untergeht. Verschlimmscheißerung?

I haven’t even started the preparation for my great work

congratulations to dark green for being the colour of the year 2.4 billion years running

im monitoring situations you cant even imagine

At the club checkin my tumblr notes

my students went on a field trip today so I got to play and draw

County roads

Full of holes

On the route

I need to go

Road construction

Lane obstruction

Let me go

County roads

formal menswear enthusiasts want to slut it up so bad but they're frightened. so they wear shirt-stays and sock garters under their clothes. this is my scientific theory it's making waves in the guyologist world right now

like seriously. seriously. "oh I just want my shirt to stay tucked in and my socks to stay up" riiiiiiight.

Am I the only one who views this/type of guys that wear these attractive? Or does anyone else think this I wanna know..

(blocking the note count with my incredibly broad-shouldered frame) yuppp it's just you my friend. sorry

this is masculine lingerie. Feminine lingerie mostly came from similar things in women's fashion -- garter belts etc. I think there is a lot of room for developing it more, but this is, imo, absolutely masculine lingerie, and i wish men's fashion designers would start focusing on that more

don't forget sleeve garters and suspenders

since i've seen it asked what purpose sleeve garters serve:

Sleeve garters are just so you can keep your cuffs right where you want them, typically used professionally by people like bartenders, who are wearing dress shirts to do manual labor and don't want their cuffs brushing through spills when they are wiping down the bar etc... but also useful for keeping cuffs exactly the right length for your suit without having to tailor all your shirts, or, if you have several suit coats with slightly different length sleeves, you can always have your dress shirt's cuffs showing that perfect half inch below the suit sleeve or whatever the fashion is for the time

right now it's about 1/2 an inch, but that's the sort of thing, like tie length, that can change a little with fashion trends -- but basically, you never want your shirt cuffs to be doing this

Because that looks SO sloppy, right? Looks like you're wearing your father's shirt under your little brother's jacket

BUT! you do want the cuffs showing, like this

because it makes the suit sleeve look precise and on purpose, or you might push it and show even more if you are wearing nice cuff links

because this clearly still looks purposeful and precise, and shows off your jewelry.

often, fashion dictates taking any opportunity to show your layers -- for example in medieval europe it was fashionable to literally slash expensive outer garments so you could ALSO see some of the expensive clothing underneath, which is how before long you get "slashed" sleeve patterns like this becoming popular among the wealthy

(notice the roughly half inch of sleeve cuff showing at the bottom here as well)

So a sleeve garter allows you to keep your sleeve cuffs positioned exactly where you want them, for either fashion or activity