butterfly life suspended brevity of conscious thought, lingered and lost in a chrysalis metamorphosis. fleeting moment merged, indistiguishable from those unfamiliar wings... flit and flutter, frustrated hung silent and hopeful for the space of breath and weighted once again, while vastness overwhelming watches idle and amused. a fickle inconsistent wind then catching current holds her breath, and remembers how to fly
( Collapse ) i joined a poetry community today. the overwhelming majority is total crap. i understand that poetry is completely subjective...one mans garbage and all that nonsense, but seriously. if your target audience is anything other than adolescent girls with a pension for harlequin-esque romance novels you may want to try something other than "love is bad. i am sad. oh the pain. makes me insane." bleh. rubbish. don't get me wrong...i'm no frost. my stuff sucks in it's own right, but it's better than dickens circa the fourth grade. hmmmn. no wonder my friends list is painfully small. on that, i'm out.
it's 4am and i'm working on my day off. helping out a friend= +2 on a karmic dice roll. i do not want to be here however and i'm now in the early stages of sheer and utter boredom. i'm fighting valiantly though...so far i've eaten a pear, a baggie of fruit loops, two oatmeal pies, a banana, a bag of jalapeno flavored chips, a milky way and half a bag of saltine crackers to keep myself occupied but i've run out of anything remotely edible and i'm not so sure my stomach would be interested at the moment even if i hadn't. it's truly a genetic miracle that i don't even vaguely resemble the stay-puffed marshmallow man. people ask me all the time how i stay so thin. well, i eat a lot of shit (figuratively speaking) and sit on my ass for extended periods of time. fortunately, aaron is a magnificent work-out partner, so i get at least thirty minutes of cardio a day. just as long as the ticker's in good shape it doesn't matter how fat your ass gets. or so i'm told. the frightening thing is that i can hear 30, cackling wickedly in the distance just waiting to pounce and assault me with a severely retarded metabolism and the accompanying 50+ pounds. *shudder* wonder if i could cash in my karma points on that??
moving on to an even less interesting topic, i did not win the lottery tonight as i had planned. what a load of horseshit. guess i'll continue to actually work to earn a paycheck. totally ridiculous. who the hell designed that system anyway? and what's more, who decided that it was a great idea and consequently pursued global implementation? you know, as a species we're suckers for a good pitch. take spandex for example.
whoa...look at the time. i'll wrap this up now. it's been a blast. thank you, drive through.
in what. in me?? most of time, i suppose. in others? in humanity in general? experience dictates a negative response. how depressing. in a higher being?? a greater purpose?? most definitely, although admittedly not in any orthodox sense. here's the thing of it. my existence is imperfect. susceptible as everyone else to the inevitable fallibility of mankind. so i am fallen. and so are you. and you. and you. accept my failings as i accept yours. or not. that's your decision. holy hell. i don't have any answers. i do not know. but i have....faith?? hmmmm. i've got something, if that's reassuring. what the hell ever. i'm in a fucking pisser mood anyway so i'd just as soon like to say fuck you and be done with it. what a bullshit post anyway. who reads this shit and doesn't say to themselves "well that's 30 seconds of my life that i'll never get back."
I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW.
yesterday i turned twenty five years old. aaron called me at exactly midnight to sing me happy birthday. twice! he loves me and i love him :) --deanna got me two cards, both of which made me laugh my ass off. she's a funny funny girl. and faith made me a penis-shaped cake. pictures will be posted soon. ah haha!!! a longer, far more interesting post will follow tonight. as i spent a significant portion of my shift "resting my eyes" i didn't really have much of an opportunity to write. i suck again.
today i overslept twice. that is impressive. currently i am eating cool ranch doritos and drinking a pineapple soda. one satisfying, one refreshing. it is a day to enjoy the little things in life. i mean, i could live in a hell where people don't even know that pineapple soda exists. oh the horror.
FINNIGAN THE FISH UPDATE: finnigan is our fish. he is new. he is blue. he is a beta. for the first few days, we thought he wasn't gonna make it. turns out his fish house was too close to the drafty windows so he was freezing his balls off. a simple relocation to the bathroom solved that problem now both he and his balls are positively thriving (just a guess on the ball thing. do fish even have balls? must research). finningan swims. finnigan eats. finnigan is a good fish.
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY: the most practical use for round steak is to make it into chicken fried steak. if you haven't already eaten CFS at luby's for lunch of course. impact on my life on a scale from 1-10: i'm gonna go with 4...you never know when your knowledge of beef cuts and their uses will come in handy.
and finally....
RANDOM OBSERVATION FOR THE DAY: orange and chocolate are a disgusting combination.
anxious
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