"machine wash cold with like colors" "tumble dry low" how does regular cycle with everything else I own sound?
Fiona | 27 | She/Her |
I've been here too damn long
"machine wash cold with like colors" "tumble dry low" how does regular cycle with everything else I own sound?
Pro-censorship wattpad refugees drama is so funny to me because when I started using ao3 as a kid I was a devout mormon and I thought that reading anything even remotely pornagraphic was a sin and would ruin my life. So when I was 13 and found ao3 I went "oh awesome I found a fanfic website with a filtering system so I won't ever randomly stumble into porn. This is great! I was really worried about seeing something I didn't want to see on the other platforms." I didn't read any smut online until like three years later. If a mormon 13 year old can figure out 'don't like don't read' wattpad users can too cmon you guys i believe in you.
they really don't make Bigass Cabinet For Computer anymore. we were at the used furniture warehouse the other day & they had so many. that's the way things should be. lock away that wretched machine when you're done looking at it
Lock That Fucking Thang Up
"Quick" "easy" "lazy" recipes love to pretend that prep and cleanup occur within a pocket dimension outside time and space.
"She would have loved you. Like I love you."
I like the idea of hollanov managing to find ways to compete even when they’re on the same team (aside from during practice) because as much as the rivalry was for the media, they really do enjoy trying to outdo each other
Things like Shane on the ice, leaning against the boards doing some interview with Harris for their socials, and while he’s distracted Ilya yells “RACE YOU” and hops the boards onto the ice. Shane mutters “oh fuck” and takes off after him, and after running back and forth 3 times, he returns to Harris - sweaty, panting, and grinning because he somehow managed to win - he just says “anyway, what was I saying?”
Ilya would make so many “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” posts
Shane explaining a hockey play on his laptop screen to an attentive looking Anya
Shane squatted down in a grocery aisle with three different dog food bags in front of him, comparing ingredients
Shane doing yoga and Anya imitating some of his poses, Shane reaching over and slightly correcting her posture
Shane up at 4 am to shovel a path for her in the snow to go out and pee
Shane and Yuna debating which of 10 different themed bandanas goes best on Anya for that particular day
Shane carrying bags inside and Anya is trotting after him with small ones in her mouth
Shane on the dock with a ball and hockey stick, he hits the ball with the stick and sends it flying into the lake and she takes off like a rocket and jumps in after it
Ilya filming POV style of himself walking over to the couch where Shane is laying with Anya on top of him. “Can I join?” “No room.” “You are breaking my heart, Hollander. Anya, may I join?” And she shakes her head and puts it more firmly on Shane’s chest
having a friend that’s as insane about The Character as you is great because you can say something like “he’s so chewable” and not only will they agree, they’ll say something equally as insane like “he’s like children’s medicine”
I do think that Shane has some weird non-negotiables that he needs for his routine before a game or to be comfortable traveling and I think that he is never made to feel judged for these things even once because there is not a single snowball's chance in Hell that any of those guys are messing with Hollzy's Flow. Shane needs to bring a specific pillow with him to be able to sleep on the plane/at the hotel? Sit on his suitcase so that he can get it in there Andy. Actually you know what Cap I have room in mine if you need it. Shane needs to wear an identical black shirt every game during a playoff series and it has to be a brand new one each time? No problem. They don't sell that brand in the US and they're in Chicago? EVEN BETTER. This is what equipment managers are for, man, don't even sweat it. Shane brought a baggie of his own protein powder to the smoothie place where they're having team breakfast? Six dudes flanking him and waiting for the manager of the shop to agree to put it in the fucking blender because this is Shane Fucking Hollander. Fall 2017 Hollzy suddenly starts periodically implying that he's leaving the bar to go get it in with Lily because apparently they locked it down over the summer and the girl's a monster in the sack and Hollzy plays crazy hockey after he's had a roll with his girl. Hell yeah brother. Hell yeah.
quite frankly i didn't realize enough people still used wattpad for this to be that big of an issue
Shane is so happy to see Ilya in the hospital that you can actually see the fear in that man's eyes. He walks in the room and sees that Shane has, in his infirmity, allowed the words 'WHERE is the man I FUCK' to be written across his forehead and his eyeballs. Ilya walks in the room and Shane says "Heeeey! :D" and you can see the arithmetic going on in Ilya's terrified gaze as he calculates exactly how many seconds he can be in Shane's presence without him just dissolving into a mess because Ilya won't give him kisses. He backs out of the room whispering "Shhh" because Shane "Heart Eyes" Hollander is liable to tell everyone he encounters for the next six hours how many moles Ilya has on his stomach. He sits in his car afterward and Googles shit like 'Do nurses take Hippocratic oath' and 'What is doctor-patient confidentiality' and 'Shane Hollander thirst trap' but that one is just to calm himself down. He texts Shane the 🤫 emoji every hour on the hour for the next two and a half days. Shane responds with 😚 and Ilya spirals.
I have seen a young lady with her table loaded with volumes loaded of fictitious trash, poring day after day and night after night over highly wrought scenes and skillfully portrayed pictures of romance, until her cheeks grew pale, her eyes became wild and reckless, and her mind wandered and was lost — the light of intelligence passed behind a cloud, and her soul was forever benighted. She was insane, incurably insane from reading novels.
-- an anonymous pastor in 1864, on the greatest threat to young women
rb if you're incurably insane from books
affirmations when opening a stuck jar:
why does it take SO much energy to keep your house only sort of clean
