Fruit Fetishists for the Reunion of the Church!1

Behold the wonders of a medley of fruit:



If you think someone is in danger of falling into heresy, but is not yet a heretic, why not send them a care package:



FFROHCAC liturgies will need plenty of these:



Fruit. Glorious fruit.

SPAM IS NOT A FRUIT.

HERE, HAVE SOME FRUIT-RELATED THINGS:






"Them some happy graps"

Courtesy of "Married to the Sea" and "Natalie Dee"


Be fruitful and multiply. Do it.

So... I found this community while searching for slash fanfiction. Uh. But what a beautiful premise! --I'm a birth-Catholic fond of the Jesuit Order, watermelon, and Church unity. Also the Voice of the Faithful and Call to Action movements *awaits onslaught of disapproval.*

On a more fruit-related note: props to John Milton's "Paradise Lost" for being in blank verse so that the very first line of Book 1 reads:

"Of man's first disobedience, and the fruit"

"Paradise Lost" in two words, ladies and gentlemen; Disobedience. Fruit. Soplice.




Also, this:



And, subsequently, this:

As it's the way of the Web, the Fruit Fetishists for the Reunion of the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church has found a presence on Facebook. Feel free to join up over there. Considering many of the regular posters here have migrated over to Facebook for many reasons, it makes sense, really.

Also, my daughter is baptised on Sunday, so your prayers are always welcomed. And if you're in the Hackensack area, you're more than welcome to come, pray, and eat well.

Pax tecum,

-j

Dear fellow members of FFROHCAC,

While thumbing through the most recent CBD recent catalog, I came across the following banner:



Needless to say, my heart was strangely warmed--all the more because I discovered that the same is on sale for a mere $6.99 USD (plus shipping)! Clearly the fine folks at CBD have discovered the surely enormous, but as yet untapped, FFROHCAC market. What other explanation could there be for this banner, really? What in a pineapple would suggest to anyone the message "Bless All Who Enter," unless, according to the Apostolic injunction in II John 10-11, one denies entry into one's home (and therefore also barrs from participating in the delicious fruit found therein) to the thrice-wretched -Spong and all his minions?

Also, please note that the distinguished internet comic xkcd has published in the past few months a delightful chart that should be close to the heart of every member of FFROHCAC.

In closing, I hope you are all edified by these notices. ;-)

"Hey Arius, I told you not to eat that tangerine! *THWACK!!*"

A happy St. Nick's day to you and yours. May the great bishop of Myra protect you and yours through his constant intercession. And may his prayers deny all heretics the holy pleasures of delicious fruit.

-j

According to the information I hold, the current PB of the Episcopal Church is a devout follower of Spong (may he have no fruit).

Is it required, then, that she also be denied fruit, and given up unto the (white) grapefruits of doom?

What is the official doctrinal position on Froot Loops? Should Toucan Sam be canonized as a saint, or denounced as a heretic for following his nose?


Toucan Sam: Saint or Heretic?


Finally, should Bishop Spong also be denied the pleasure of Froot?

Peaches are now in season! (I hear they were there last week, but they were sold out by the time I got there). Also corn, which, while not a fruit, is still good, is just today available here. Tomorrow is my nameday; I'm sure this is not a coincidence.

Is corn kind of like the antidoron? Not a sacrament, but sort of like one?

Edit:

Whoops -- _Today_ is my nameday.

daphneisgood brings up an interesting question.

Is Nutella to be likened unto fruit in its blessed orthodoxy? Is it to be denied to heretics?

My position is yes, certainly, in all cases--though I think the argument would be best made by categorizing Nutella (according to Aristotle) as "a substance to dip fruit in."