I KNOW your pain.......I CAN feel it!

I...am at a loss for words. There's definitely things in the article below that everyone should read and be informed of...

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Diary Of A Mad Mind

Pills.
Lots of them.
Too much to handle sometimes, but then again; what would I be without them?

Paranoia.
Everybody wants to hurt me.
They all stare at me, all of them; all the time.

PANIC!
Thoughts racing fast, fast, fast!
Every thing that ever was in my life flashes in fast forward and slow reverse.

Life.
My life is difficult.
Sometimes it’s too hard to bear….

But I shall persevere.
But I shall persevere.

quick intro before i dive headfirst into my problem. okay, my name is megan, but call me pegan, im 15 and bi. ive been a cutter for over a year. i was clean for a month last february but that didnt last. im trying to stop now, but recent events are making it hard. about another week ill hit a month cut free. well its not that the events are that recent, theyve just endured. see, i have very strong feelings from my best friend. thats been in the back of my head for about a year as well. the problem is, she's straight. not only is she straight, but shes in a controlling relationship with a guy who literally is still alive because of her. he probably would kill himself if she broke up with him. he blames her and takes out a lot of things on her only to say hes sorry later. he pressures her and is delusional. and when she gets worried, she has a bad habit of scratching at her wrists to keep her mind on anything but the problem. it scars. and it scares me. so much. cause i cant stand to see her hurting. i jsut sent her a message explaining that i had a crush on her, cause of some advice i got in the community _lostsouls. i cant stand seeing her like that. she already knows im bi, she doesnt care about that. but im so scared. cause she doesnt know it, but the thought of getting to see her is what kept me going for a good long period of time. *sighs* i cant believe this. i just want her to be happy... and im so scared of how shes gonna respond to that. oh the drama...

any thoughts or advice, for me or her?

Been in this community a long time. Helped as many as I could while I was here to, occasionally feeling like I was the only one here doing that but that's just me. At any rate it seems like I'm being called to give aid else where and in other ways, so this is good bye from me.

Oh god, I have to post this on here, if i post it on my lj he'll see it and it will break his heart.
There's a man he's loved me for 5 years.. he's witnessed me go thru boyfriends and girlfriends (i'm bisexual) he picks up the pieces after. He stays on the phone with me when i'm scared in the middle of the night and we talk untill the sun rises.
I'm flying to see him, my mum can't afford it but she promised she'd fly me over to see him for my 18th. She's scraping every penny she can to send me there. I feel so guilty. The guy's literally counting down the days till i get there. He'd b crushed if I didn't make it.
This is the wierd bit. I know i love him, he's my perfect vision of a partner.
He's CONSTANTLY telling me he loves him, like 10 times a day. Am I the only one that gets sick of it? Or am i the only one? If so why is it bothering me that the man i love likes to tell me he loves me.. all the time?
peace out *abi*

Hi! *waves* My name is Caroline (feel free to call me Carol, though) and I'm 17 years old. I've been dealing with depression since I was 10 and it's still taking the best of me, but I'm trying to fight back. I've been tempted to give up countless times and still, I'm here. Feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk or whatever.

Just to introduce myself, I thought I'd share something I wrote last Friday. It's related to what goes through my mind and I guess it gives a bit of insight on who I am. It's a little bit long, so I'll put it behind a cut. Please excuse me for any grammar errors. I still have to work on my English...

Warning: There are elements of suicide in there. And I just want to make clear I'm in no way pro-suicide.
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hi, sorry i haven't posted on here for a while. I just got out of a bad bloody relationship only for him to have this http://www.freewebs.com/fcnet_neok… posted online. It scared me, so i'm waiting for the police to turn up any minute to talk to me about it.
that's why i'm making my lj friends only from now on, so if any of you wanna add me, i'll add u right back.
peace out *abi*
p.s my bulimia's all over the place.. i don't know where i stand with it anyway

scientists are researching the long term effects of pot and are finding that that it can cause schizophrenia and other disorders!

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,210…

I thought this was a good community to post something like Hey, I want to kill myself. I feel like I can hurt myself everyday. Because I don't fit it anywhere and I feel hated in this world, maybe that's a bit to dramatic, but that's how I feel sometimes.

Friends, comments, are always on the top of my livejournal list! :0)

Eeyore is a friend of Edward Bear
otherwise know as Pooh.
Eeyore isn't Edward Pooh
Neither is he you.

He is depressed, yet determined
To push through the obstacles
To get things done.

His fur soft, and pleasent gray
like the clouds I saw today
I turned my eyes heavenward -
And rain fell in them.

I cried some tears
tears of rain.
Eeyore is sad, but doesn't have to cry.

He is written off as just a toy
For a happy little boy.

As for me, I am still sad
But Eeyore makes me glad
True is all I've said above

And as the water slowly leaked
from my eyes
I noticed in the dew
footprints leading me, far astray -
And so I followed
the four footed path
On two legs, with rainclouds still above.

And that's why it's he I love

---With added stanzas by thesaltedsped
x posted