The Queen of Dirty Talk

This is a friends-locked journal, containing occasional blather (punctuated by long silence) about my own writing, other people's writing, writing I might get to one day, writing other people might get to one day, writing I have read about somewhere, and, upon occasion, actual writing. To see any of the above, please comment below so I can add you to my friends-list.

If you just want the fic, head to my fanfiction at Archive of Our Own if you want to read. Everything fannish should be there!

Things to note: Please understand, I will probably not add a blank journal, the journal of anyone under eighteen, or a journal with little to no userinfo.

A note to fic translators: Please consider all non-original writing as being in the public domain, and thus you may translate anything you wish into any language you please without asking me or even notifying me. It would be kind of you to keep my name attached somewhere, but seriously, what am I gonna do, call my lawyers? The internets is for fun, so go have some. (Touch the original stuff, however, and I will actually call those lawyers. Hang on, I bet LJ has some ads for cheesy copyright lawyers right over here in this annoying sidebar.)

So I've created a msterlist of all my fic, both recent and old, over on my tumblr. Please go check it out!

If you would rather browse from this window (you unbelievably lazy sot), all links are below.

Some things you should expect when reading my stories: explicit sex. Almost all my writing contains references to or descriptions of explicit sexual activity. If you prefer to avoid such things, you will want to give my stories a miss.

Some things you should not expect: trigger warnings or content warnings of any sort. I don’t do that. If you want to know more about why, please read this.

All stories within pairings listed most recent first.

DC Fandom
Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent (Superbat) stories:

The Valley of the Shadow: Bruce is diagnosed with a serious illness, and Clark must watch helplessly. (This is a multi-chapter work that is currently being serialized. It is a completed work, however, so no fears of looming incompletion. I'm posting a chapter a day, and will wrap up next Thursday the 9th.)

Left the Meeting Early: A short smutty ficlet based on this piece of art. PWP.

Four Days on a Farm in Kansas: Bruce comes to spend a few days at the Kents’ farm. Clark tries to be all things to all people. Bruce is kind of an asshole. Does any of this really need saying? Featuring: tractors, misogyny, embarrassing parents, Ikea, awkward barn sex. (Also contains Conner Kent/Tim Drake.)

A Different Life: Dick ends up trying to fix Bruce’s love life. Since Dick’s own love life is currently skating out of control, this is a spectacularly bad idea. (Also contains references to Dick Grayson/Wally West, Dick Grayson/Barbara Gordon.)

Just a Formality: Bruce and Clark get married, for reasons. And then they fall in love. Nope, it’s not Victorian time travel! I am straight up about this.

…And He Sleeps: Short and sweet, heavy on the shmoop, light on the angst. An illustration in words of this lovely piece of artwork by Runkirya here.

Bruises: Dick runs across some interesting marks on Bruce’s body.

Like a Bat Out Of Hell: How do you begin the conversation when you think Bruce Wayne is drinking a little too much? Clark discovers that poking at the dark corners of Bruce’s mind is rarely a good idea. For that matter, poking at Alfred is an even worse idea. (Also contains Dick Grayson/Tim Drake.)

This story has illustrations by the brilliant and talented Runkirya!

Combat Training Is Not Optional: Batman may be the worst personal trainer ever. Or the best, as the new Green Lantern discovers. (Also contains Bruce Wayne/Kyle Rayner, Dick Grayson/Wally West.)

How Batman Made the Housemaid Cry: Bruce and Alfred have the world’s most awkward conversation.

Love in the Dairy Aisle (or, Why Batman Doesn’t Do Fights): Bruce and Clark do a little grocery shopping together, which goes about as well as you might expect.

Saying the Words (or, Why Batman Doesn’t Do Birthdays): In constructing the Watchtower, somehow Clark and Bruce construct their own dysfunctional relationship as well. What do you do, when you need to start over?

Swear Jar: Bruce tries to teach Jason a lesson. It backfires, as all attempts to teach Jason Todd must inevitably do.

Showers of Blessing: In the first few weeks of their relationship, Clark and Bruce encounter… a problem. Bruce is good at fixing things.

The Immortals: After Dick’s death, Bruce’s life implodes — and he must face down Ra’s Al Ghul to try to piece it back together. What lengths will Damian go to, to try to mend what he has broken?

Learning the Job: So as it turns out, Bruce cooks.

Foreign Languages: What exactly happens to your life, when you become Batman’s therapist? (Also contains Dinah Lance/Oliver Queen, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd.)

This story has an epilogue, found here.

Sh*t My Dad Says: Dick has an emotional problem and asks Bruce for advice. Because obviously, if you need help with your feelings, you go to Batman.

Swift to Hear: Clark’s superhearing gets him into trouble, when he hears the one thing he’s not supposed to hear — and the one thing he maybe should have heard a long time ago. (Also contains Dick Grayson/Jason Todd.)


Other DC Pairings:

Bruce Wayne/Jim Gordon:
Two For Flinching: Jim Gordon thinks he knows everything there is to know about the Batman. Finding out he was wrong teaches him everything he needed to know about Jim Gordon.

Dick Grayson/Jason Todd:
House Rules: (also contains Cassandra Cain/Tim Drake) Bruce would like people to stop having sex in his house. Difficult conversations ensue.

Humor (Dick-centric, with a side of SuperBat):
So Much Pain: Shameless crack.


All Other Fandoms:

Harry Potter (Snape/Black)

Stargate Atlantis (Sheppard/McKay)

Top Gun (Iceman/Maverick)

Numb3rs (Don/Charlie)

The West Wing (Leo McGarry/Lord John Marbury, Toby/CJ)

Avengers (Tony/Steve)

Lord of the Rings (Legolas/Gimli)

Sherlock Holmes (Holmes/Watson)

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (Gul Dukat/Elim Garak, Gul Dukat/Kira Nerys)

Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing (Benedick/Beatrice)

Jurassic Park (Alan/Billy)

Oxford Blues (Colin/Nick)

Master and Commander (Aubrey/Maturin)

Title: Bruises

Pairing: Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent

Summary: Dick runs across some interesting marks on Bruce's back.

Rating: Smutty as ever. Designed as PWP, really, but since that's pretty much impossible for me, it became PSP (Porn Some Plot) pretty quickly.


Link here.

Title: Like A Bat Out Of Hell

Summary: How do you begin the conversation when you think Bruce Wayne is drinking a little too much? Clark discovers that poking at the dark corners of Bruce’s mind is rarely a good idea. For that matter, poking at Alfred is an even worse idea. A story in three chapters.

Rating: Let’s hope your grandmother doesn’t see this open on your screen.

For Runkirya, who wanted it soon, and for Mikimoo, who was patient with me.



Link here.

So I am going to be doing this 30-day challenge thing, which I am taking more as a "30 opportunities" thing, since I am pretty sure I will not have it completed in 30 days. It's supposed to be just a series of prompts (the full list is on my tumblr here) that you fill with your OTP, but even though my current OTP is Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent, I expect I will stray outside that, maybe quite a lot—definitely to include the rest of the Batfamily, because I have explosive feels for pretty much all of them.

When they're all finished, I'll put them up on AO3, but for now, I will just link to my them on my tumblr, if anyone would like to read them there.



Day One: Cuddling. Naked.
Bruce shifted, trying to dislodge the heavy limbs that enfolded him, but to no avail: they just wrapped him tighter. Bruce was not what you would call a post-coital cuddler, but Clark was not what you would call a quitter.


Read more. . . .

MOAR FIC!



Swear Jar (on AO3)
pairing: Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent
rating: offscreen sexing, naughty words (obviously)
word count: 3Kish
summary: Bruce tries to teach Jason a little lesson. It backfires, as all attempts to teach Jason Todd must inevitably do.






"Ow, damn it!" Jason flinched back from the hot stove, sucking on his burnt finger. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! Where the hell is Alfred?"

"Jason." Bruce put down his newspaper. "Language."

"I burned my fucking finger! Ow, Jesus! It hurts."

Bruce rose, grabbed the wounded hand, and led him to the sink. He ran cold water over the (admittedly sizeable) welt, and reached for an aloe packet in the cabinet. "You know those pads Alfred keeps in the drawer to the left of the stove? Those are what you reach for, if you want to move a pan of boiling water."

"Can't I just reach for a fucking butler?" ( Collapse )

Yep, definitely spamming now.

Anyway, porn! As close to a PWP as I am likely to get: two people making out, in an executive washroom. (I know, right? Where's my executive washroom with hot people sexing in it?)

Showers of Blessing
rating: explicit
pairing: Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent
word count: 5Kish
summary: In the first few weeks of their relationship, Clark and Bruce encounter. . . a problem. Bruce is good at fixing things.



Bruce's mouth on his was hot and fierce, and he was still getting used to the way the entire room tipped over onto its side whenever Bruce sealed their mouths together.

Hmm, I think maybe I'm approaching spam levels here.

Anyway, a new story! DC Universe, of course.

This is at bottom a fix-it fic, and here is the panel that launched it. Because you cannot kill NIGHTWING and expect me to do NOTHING about it, you heartless bastards.

Title: The Immortals
Pairing: Clark/Bruce, Jason/Dick
Rating: brief sexing, naughty words
Word Count: 16K

"You can only save the world if you care about the world," Bruce said. "Even if I had the equipment and resources to re-create Batman—which, by the way, I don't—I still wouldn't be any good to the League. I'd be a danger. You have to have something to care about, to do that kind of job."

"So. . . that was it? Dick was all you cared about?"

Bruce rubbed his jaw absently. "Apparently," he said.

Read more here. . .

Which today apparently is, for reasons inscrutable to me. But far be it from me to miss a chance to pimp my favorite fic. Now that I know when this day is, I can make this an annual pimpage! So when you’re done playng volleyball in your jeans, come read the only Top Gun fic you will ever need. (Okay, fine, yes, I wrote it. Yes, it’s Maverick/Ice. Because come ON.)



Kings of the Air
pairing: Maverick/Iceman
word Count: 25K
rating: explicit
summary: Fighting and fucking: two things he did extraordinarily well. How could he have known what the effect would be when you combined the two?

Learning the Job
fandom: DC (Justice League)
pairing: Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent
rating: teenish? Suggestion of sexytimes, but nothing outa hand.
word count: <3000
summary: Bruce Wayne, as it turns out, is an excellent cook.</a>



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