Lord of War and Agony

I have been trying to write more for Kinktober. I eventually want to have a story for every prompt. It'll happen, but maybe just not this month. Life has been utter Hell recently.

My sweet dog Hazel passed away on the first of this month. I was taking her out, she got off her lead, and ran into the road. I already had a torn rotator cuff in my shoulder on the right at this point, and due to adrenaline I didn't feel any pain whatsoever, so I got even more injured getting her out of the road. I had help, but it's still a 40 pound dog and an injured shoulder. God, I miss her so much. 

So, yeah, I'm really badly injured at this point. I made the tear in my rotator cuff worse, and probably have torn ligaments/tendons in my clavicle, sternum, and neck. I don't see the orthopedic again till October 22nd, which feels super far away, especially for how much pain I'm in. There's also definitely nerve damage, because I keep getting tingling and numbness in my fingers on that side. I'm in tons and tons of pain, but I was only prescribed an actual pain med yesterday. Tylenol doesn't work and I'm allergic to ibuprofen and other anti inflammatory meds in that family, so I have been going through this with no relief. Still have no relief because insurance said I don't actually need this medication, but it's the weekend, so my doctor can't start fighting it till Monday.

I can't play video games on my pc because of the movement and weight of my right arm, and this is driving me pretty nuts. I'm a pc gamer through and through. I grabbed the Switch we have to try to play that but haven't even really touched it. It's just really not the same. I also can't do any art whatsoever, which is also driving me nuts. I've tried just really throwing myself into writing, because I can do that either on my phone, or my laptop with my arm cushioned and supported. I want to be reading but am struggling with that. Doing a diamond painting kit with my left hand, so it's slow going, but I'm having a good time with it. Teaching myself how to be a leftie is super difficult, but I'm going to be laid up like this for months, even if I don't need surgery.

There's other stuff, like going down on my prednisone dose, but that's a very long explanation. I'm having withdrawal symptoms from that, of course, just because I've been on it for so very long. My doctor is aware, but I have to continue the taper to get off of it.

Life is Hell, but writing is bringing me some joy.

In the past year or so I've been trying to limit myself to working on only one multichapter fic at a time. I have 3 going right now, actually. The order I wanted to go in for working on them is Our Time Together, Dead of Night, and then Getting a Scar Out of It. I love all of them, but they definitely all have very different tones.

I'm nearing the end of Our Time Together, but have been getting a lot of comments on Dead of Night. People really like that one! I downloaded it to maybe reread what I have and get back to work on it, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not. I feel like my WIPs are more likely to get finished if I do what I've been doing by limiting myself to one at a time.

Though I do feel rather stuck on chapter 19 of Our Time Together... 

Just thinking out loud! I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts though!

Haven't been writing as much due to a bad shoulder injury. Naturally, it's on the right, my dominant side. I technically injured it a whole month ago, but it only got really bad maybe two to three weeks ago. The orthopedic I saw Friday called it a "pulled muscle", but that would have healed already if it were. I am at least getting an MRI and physical therapy. Just been kind of miserable, honestly. I had gotten the motivation back to do art right when this happened. Wondering if I can at least draw on my ipad if I stacked some pillows correctly.

Back in June, Race to the Edge (the Netflix How to Train Your Dragon show) hit its 10th anniversary! I can't believe it's that old. It feels like it shouldn't be. Time is a weird thing to process and understand, honestly.

But one of my friends on tumblr ran an event to celebrate! 10 Years of RTTE Week! Despite all my struggles with writing lately, I managed to write a story for each day of the event, and you know? I think they're pretty damn good. 

Here's the series on ao3!

I have been so incredibly tired and maybe even burnt out lately. My health has been so difficult and stressful to deal with. Super anxious because I'm waiting for a doctor to call me about next steps after a bunch of testing I got done. I'm hoping the results say something instead of being inconclusive or normal. I just want answers and treatment.