I just read that it is superbowl sunday. This makes me miss the Amazon Slam very much ATM as Ren always scheduled an event opposite the superbowl. I miss all the women, the great words and the courage that was displayed by so many.
I was forced out of my favorite campsite by a group of trap shooters. They set up their drop zone across the campsite instead of off to the side as folks usualy do. They then proceed to drop a ton of lead all across the site, especially in the area where I would park & set up. Target shooting is illegal here. 8(
For quite some time whenever a stranger addresses me with a pronoun, I just laugh. Some of this is me thinking how stupid all of this is. The other part is knowing that the stranger had to go through some sort of process to reach their particular conclusion. Depending on the attitude of the stranger in question, there may also be a bit of f-u embodied in my laughter.
Of course, the heavy duty silicone respirator mask I must wear whenever I am in public adds a certain air of mystery and also forces many to wind through their decision tree regarding whether I am a robber or a terrorist.
The tough part of winter is coming, nights that get well down into the 20s and days frequently too chilly to really bathe outdoors. There are few places safe enough to camp due to smoke and agricultural spraying. I will have to hide in the hills and ride it out.
My friends B & A are selling their house here to go back east. They have been good friends and I will miss them even though I have not seen them that much. The only time I usually see people is when I buy food or go to the doctor. B & A's is the only place I have been able to take a real shower or use a washing machine in more than a couple of years except for those few months when I had a place. Even if I only got to do those things every month or two, it was an important form of support. I also have a few of my possessions that I can't keep with me in the car stored in their house. I have to find a home for those things fast. I have had to let go of a lot just to survive. Not planning to loose anything else that isn't dead weight.
I really don't want to be out here. It is beautiful but way too isolated and lonely. Don't even have words for how much I miss all of you back home. Still, I believe that a major reason that I am able to maintain my independence is because I can avoid many of the things that make me even more ill. If I do manage to get indoors here, I don't know if my life will be worth the effort. No matter where I end up, I will have to live in in a bubble...*shrug* At least in some places out in the country here I can be outside without a mask.
Once again, someone declared to me "I could never live like you do". Someone who should know better. Someone faced with many of the same health issues that I face but who happens to have a home and a supportive family. Someone who went on to elaborate and in doing so panned a whole bunch of us who have lost our homes or not been able to find safe housing. This person's response was not an appropriate answer to the question I had asked.
I don't like being kicked when I am down. That privilege is usually reserved for immediate family members who have honed that skill to high art. I don't like getting s*it for trying to survive.
Been sick as heck for a few days so I ate early, set up car and mosquito netting. went through evening routine ready to bolt if anyone lit a fire. no camp fires-yay! It was going to be an easy night. Right?
Bunch of loud drunks in the picnic area behind my space starts to get real loud - sounded like a bunch of juicer boys - testosterone overdose has a distinctive beat and they tried to pick a fight with every person that went near them and a few trees for good measure. Some folks tried to get them to quiet down which created some pretty loud, boring and predictable banter. I just hoped to ride it out and was extra careful when I went out to seek relief. Heard some faggot talk but who could tell who they were talking to -shrug. Just getting ready to crash when they lit a very smoky fire - just fucking around or were they messing with me.. who knows they could see me wearing my mask - more shrugs. People in the area have seen me in my genderqueered and masked glory for a while. could only break camp and get out as fast as possible - I'm quite ill from it. I and my stuff are all smoky as heck - bad news as that alone makes me sick. in the past I was unable to stay in an area that had burned over five years ago...
When campers have fires I can usually find a 'safe from smoke' place out in the park to crash. There is much more danger from people out there and I sure am not staying out there with those jerks at large. So here I sit in a McD's parking lot well past my bedtime, ill and experiencing a mini exile within my exile.
flying away. it is closed and empty here making me a target for jerks or police.
Environmental Illness sucks Homelessness sucks Being dirty and sweat drenched a lot of the time sucks Ignorant doctors suck Waiting forever for things that should be quick and easy sucks Assholes who steal credit card numbers suck Enough for now
Thought I would have another month here, time enough to order gear and do a first pass at outgassing but I face instant homelessness due to road construction. If you have any old non-moldy gear that you could contribute or sell real cheap, please post so I can get right back to you. Looks like everyone I know is out of town so this is likely a useless appeal. I need a tent, sleeping bag and ground pad at a minimum. - THANKS
I need to hire a geek who can get the data off my computer and various hard drives (all parallel ide/ata) that I have and put it all onto usb drives for me. Person must have LINUX, Windows and basic hardware understanding. I can explain in detail exactly what I want done but I am unable to do it myself because I have been ill and not had a stable place to live. A friend has all of my gear and I can arrange to have it handed off in a number of locations in the Greater Boston area.
exhausted
pissed off
anxious