Bread and Kerosene.

So ummmmmm it's been a long time! *checks entries* whoa there, it's been three years, y'all. I'm not dead! *waves* I in fact graduated culinary school, am working full time as a chocoletier for a medicinal marijuana company, turned 30, and got engaged. Life is rad!

I also wrote my first fic in five years, daaaaaamn guys. It's not Supernatural, sorry, but if you're like me (and many many other authors I remember from the good ole LJ days) and have jumped to the Marvel universe, you're in luck!

Actually I'm super stoked about the MCU. I started reading comics when I was like seven years old and had amassed a 500 book collection of mostly x-men by the time I hit high school. The success of the avengers etc has made it so damn cool to be a geek, it's just mind blowing.

I just started to use Tumblr - my user name is essenceofmeanin, just like here. Sorry I have NO IDEA how to use it so I can't just like link you. I fail. BUT. I'm on AO3 now (will put up my old SPN stories when I get around to it) on the same name. And then there's, uh, y'know, fic.

Home I'll Never Be

Natasha tilts her head, trying to catch his eye. "Not sure what exactly you're going to do with all these lessons, though."

Steve goes to visit Peggy after the battle of New York.

Hope to see you guys over at Tumblr and beyond! Miss you guys! Let me know what you've been up to!

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The boyfriend was using my computer last night, clicks onto an open tab of a fanfic archive. "what's this?" he says. my first reaction: "NOTHING." later, i figure, what the hell, he's a cool guy and told him about my fannish activities. he took it very well.

me: "you don't seem very surprised."
bf: "well... you are very nerdy."

lol.

Title: Two Sharks Learning How to Swim
Author: essenceofmeanin
Rating: Mature (Thematically dark, some sexuality.)
Word Count: 4,000
A/N: For roque_clasique -- I bet you thought you'd never get this. Dean with permanent mobility issues, GEDs, and Stanford. Oh -- and Sammy, too.

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Title: Idioglossia (The Lump Sum Remix)
Author: essenceofmeanin
Original Story: The Sum of His Parts by kellifer_fic.
Notes: I'm a huge fan of kellifer_fic's work and was absolutely stoked to get her for my kamikazeremix assignment. The story is deeply creepy, and the basic premise -- Dean is blinded -- doesn't even begin to describe what's really going on. Idioglossia refers to the made-up language that twins sometimes create, a language that no one else can understand.

Two thugs walk into an alley. One says, I can’t see a thing. The other: Neither can he, right?

Title: One Thing I Don't Believe In
Author: essenceofmeanin
Artist gblvr
Rating: NC-17, M/M sex, some Dean/Castiel.
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel don't manage to stop the apocalypse, but they do find God. In reward, God gives Dean a new beginning, a new life. He is reborn in 1979 into a normal life with his parents, John and Mary Winchester and later, his brother Sammy. Life isn't perfect - Dean is plagued by nightmares, panic attacks and memories he doesn't know are his own.
Notes: Thank you as always to my wonderful betas, hansbekhart and girlguidejones. You ladies rock it hardcore. Thank you to my awesome artist, gblvr, I was stoked to work with you. Finally, this story is dedicated to smilla02 -- without you, it wouldn't exist.

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five
Art Post and Artist Soundtrack - Author Soundtrack - PDF File

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Title: One Thing I Don't Believe In 5/5
Author: essenceofmeanin
Artist gblvr
Rating: NC-17, M/M sex.
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel don't manage to stop the apocalypse, but they do find God. In reward, God gives Dean a new beginning, a new life. He is reborn in 1979 into a normal life with his parents, John and Mary Winchester and later, his brother Sammy. Life isn't perfect - Dean is plagued by nightmares, panic attacks and memories he doesn't know are his own.

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Title: One Thing I Don't Believe In 4/5
Author: essenceofmeanin
Artist gblvr
Rating: NC-17, M/M sex.
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel don't manage to stop the apocalypse, but they do find God. In reward, God gives Dean a new beginning, a new life. He is reborn in 1979 into a normal life with his parents, John and Mary Winchester and later, his brother Sammy. Life isn't perfect - Dean is plagued by nightmares, panic attacks and memories he doesn't know are his own.

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Title: One Thing I Don't Believe In 3/5
Author: essenceofmeanin
Artist gblvr
Rating: NC-17, M/M sex.
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel don't manage to stop the apocalypse, but they do find God. In reward, God gives Dean a new beginning, a new life. He is reborn in 1979 into a normal life with his parents, John and Mary Winchester and later, his brother Sammy. Life isn't perfect - Dean is plagued by nightmares, panic attacks and memories he doesn't know are his own.

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