The medium is the distraction

erin says:
hey
ice cream says:
hey lol sup
erin says:
i need to talk to you
erin says:
i am tired of your constant travels into my stomach. you are ruining my digestive system
ice cream says:
umm what??? y r u blaming this on me?
erin says:
every time i eat ice cream, my digestive system disintegrates and explodes into a symphony of mosh metal breakdowns
erin says:
i feel like you are always around trying to persuade me into consuming you
erin says:
i am intending to break off our relationship
ice cream says:
ya well that's ur problem not mine honey
ice cream says:
u think ur hot shit...

digestive system has joined the conversation.

digestive system says:
FUCK YOU ICE CREAM
digestive system says:
I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP
ice cream says:
W/E U DON'T KNOW ME
digestive system says:
I HATE YOU

digestive system has left the conversation.

---

The conversation I have just posted is a real life dialogue between me, dairy products and 
my digestive system.This MSN-oriented skit has demonstrated the perils that my body and
mind face on a constant basis regarding dairy products, namely ice cream in this example.
This is a warning message to ice cream and its whole family of cow-related products: STAY 
OUT OF MY LIFE. YOU MAKE ME FEEL AWFUL. Let this function as a public service 
announcement.

Sincerely,
A partially lactose intolerant Erin P.

Sonic Youth is amazing. They are the reason why you listen to music. They are the reason why so many bands exist today. It took me a few years and many tries to get into them. Now that they have grabbed my heart and entangled it into their guitar strings, I can't go back. I feel accomplished for letting them devour my soul with such intensity.

I first bought Goo in grade eleven from an unpolished used CD store on Bloor, knowing that the album would somehow impact my taste in music. I did this even though I wasn't enthusiastic about them. It was one of the best $7 including tax I ever spent on music.

Sonic Youth owns music. They have influenced a large volume of artists, including your band. Even if you've never listened to Sonic Youth, they have influenced you. Even if your band sucks, they have influenced you. Sonic Youth is so superior that they invade your subconscience.

Sonic Youth has always been one of those "essential" artists, despite what musical genre they are placed in. Sonic Youth overrides grunge and indie and every other musical category. Sonic Youth is better and arguably more essential than Stephen Malkmus' band Pavement. I could list all the bands Sonic Youth is better than, especially from the late 80s to mid-90s, but I would be wasting my time, and yours.

There is a small chance that Sonic Youth might even be better than the Pixies. I'll have to get back to you on this, though.

Plus, Sonic Youth has ubiquitously invaded my childhood cartoon-watching experiences. Remember when Sonic Youth was on the Simpsons? This is clearly one of the top ten best Simpsons episodes ever. Not to mention, who can forget choppy music video clips of Sonic Youth on Beavis and Butthead in the mid-90s? Not me. I bet Daria had a Sonic Youth poster on her wall, too.

Listening to Daydream Nation, Dirty, and even their latest album Rather Ripped legitimizes the amazingness that Goo once captivated me with. Years later, I am downloading and purchasing the albums beyond Goo. I know, you're probably like, "What took you so long, poseur?". Dude, I don't care. Now is the best time. Now.

Sometimes the best music you'll discover in your life is almost fifteen years too late. Sometimes the best musicians pick up their instruments before you're born. To see those musicians still impacting music today, whether people realize it or not, is profound and mind-blowing if you really think about it.

I should write an academic thesis on the importance of Sonic Youth in life.

I've been feeling extremely light-headed at work recently. It's not cool...customers are baffled by my drugged look and are confused to approach me at times ("Hi, Do you work here?" No, I'm just an imposter, it's cool). I try to "gain energy" but no matter what I consume - apples, clementines, chocolates (which FLOOD the store), coffee (which is RIGHT NEXT DOOR) and even water - I begin to sweat and sweat and sweat. Employees ask how I'm doing, and I say, "Oh, fine...just a little dizzy, but I'll manage".

I can't always shift books because my wrists get weak, I can't bend down without wanting to pass out. It has nothing to do with my eating, but it's the (lack of) energy in the store. You'd expect me to be energized by being around books; well, no. The store dries my eyes out, dries my mouth out, makes me nervous at times, as if I have some sort of unexplainable disease. I am constantly feeling sick, my heart beating out of my chest as if it's spinning on a broken record. The amount of books in the store baffles me. Several cheap books and magazines get thrown out after a while, and there is so much I want to read that I don't know where to start, thus leading me to a frenzied state of mind.

And about the ridiculous amount of chocolates in our store... Over the past three months I have consumed enough chocolate to cause a cocoa shortage in Ghana, among other things. The smells of coffee over-powers some parts of the store and the disposable wax-paper cups tossed into the garbage worsen it...especially when I'm sitting there thinking, "Why don't you get a fucking mug instead of throwing shit out all the time?". The smells of the coffee are nothing compared to the smell of the washroom, which reaks so highly of chemical disinfectant that it makes my nose feel like its bleeding everytime I take a piss. In the washroom, my eyeballs shrivel up like dead shrimp and my stomach feels unable to digest anything including water. It is the most vile, most clean smell ever.

Overall, I can't really complain that much, but if I didn't complain then I'd go even more crazy. Therefore, this "bitching" is necessary, encouraged and justified. Peace.