It is already 6 months into my experience here in Korea and this is my first entry. There is little personal documentation of this journey beyond facebook and gillians blog updates. What do I have to say about the experience? There are so many little pleasures and hardships that will forever go forgotten because I didn't document them.
I didn't take the GMAT. I haven't blogged in 1 week. My weight is unstable and I have gained 5 lbs in the past month. Those things aside, I have made the resolution to allow myself to take pleasure in things like Julia Child did. I want to never skip a meal again, and never diet again. Today is day one of my non-diet diet. I want to cook more, and try more Korean food. I am reading her book My Life in France and couldn't be more inspired to stop holding myself to unattainably high expectations and start just living my life in the moment.
Anyway I am only 60 pages in, but she is describing a small roadtrip that her husband, her friend, and her took to the French countryside. It is then that I decided that there is nothing more pleasurable and relaxing than exploring countryside in a car or hiking with people very close to you. Nothing more pleasurable. Some of my best memories are not of the places that I've been, but of who I went with and what we talked about and how inspired I felt afterward. Sure, I remember the beautiful scenery but I cherish those moments of revelation and deep philosophical musings that only can be shared or discovered while exploring nature. A hike or country drive with a close friend is almost guaranteed to leave you feeling inspired.
So now, my resolution is to calm down but never slow down. Just explore all you can. That is all I do, I go into Seoul and explore every weekend. I always leave feeling inspired.
Lower Lena Lake - First hike outside of the Snoqualmie area with the fam (Kate, Kirk, Guy, Emily, and I). Very pretty/slightly easy hike to a beautiful alpine lake. Got me hooked!
Kennedy Creek - Ok hike, better socializing experience with good friends. Through clear cut to a cute little creek, not breathtaking.
Skokomish River - Nice fall lowland river hike, goes on and on and on forever though.
Mount Saint Helens - Breathtaking views of the burping bowl at the top, all of the giants of the PNW in plain view, Olympics and Cascades in tow. Should be a yearly event.
Camp Muir (almost) on Mount Rainier - White out! Glimpses of rainier that went from to hope to frustration very quickly. Did it in tennis shoes, feet were very cold.
Mount Ellinor - Unexpectedly icy/snowy scramble. Very very steep, very beautiful view of the Olympics, but the eastside of the mountain (where we would have seem the puget sound) was clouded out, still amazing.
Mount Si (will do on July 17) - Snoqualmie weekend!
Attempts:
Three Tattoosh Peaks, but we were whited out (July 3) Capitol Peak (fog/lonliness - I was doing it alone/late start)
So I am going to start journaling my volunteer experiences, jobs, and anything else that can help me figure things out. I got this idea from that pre-med expo I went to.
Wednesdays 9:30am-12pm-ELL classroom at Hansen Elementary.
The first session was a blast. I felt that the intimate group setting made it easy to work with many children. Carol Richardson is really nice, and makes me feel welcome. The first group (the first graders) are the best group. There is 11 or so of them, so I really feel like I'm making a contribution when I am there. However, when I tutor the 2nd graders, there are usually only 5-6 of them, so I feel useless.
I missed the second session due to car troubles.
The third session was a little boring. I think I'm going to ask for some variety. The first hour of class is great, but as soon as the first graders leave-I feel useless. I would really like to work with children in the classroom setting.
I know that these students need extra help with English. The ELL program is great for that, and is really good so that students dont feel like they are being put on the spot for being tutored in class. However, it seems like it's really singling some students out who are non-english speakers to tutor them in the middle of class.
I have 9 hours of work at Hansen thus far.
Mason County Literacy
This I feel could be a great opportunity. I have been talking back and fourth with Maria, and she has someone set up for me to tutor. He is Korean, and just moved to the states. I would be helping him with business english and also basic english. She said he is really nice, but needs help desperatly with his communication skills. I can't wait until late January for the official ESL trainings.
Nanny Job
The boys are really cute. Trevor and Busby. Busby is kind of a weird name, but oh well. It is a little more hands on than I anticipated. I wont be getting much homework done there. Their mom, Gina Low, is really cool and laid back. She said I will be working 20 hours per week, at $11/hr. 11/13: 4 hours working
Global Medical Brigades
It's on, bitches. I am going to start this group. Its going to be a hell of a lot of work, but it should be amazing to really pull it off, if it is pulled off. Today we met with Tom Mercado from the S & A board, and he seemed really excited to get this group going.
Independent Contract
I get to view surgeries! Well, hopefully I will get to if I EVER get a hold of this surgeon who said that he would let me. He is a general surgeon, so it is organ type stuff. Awesome. I am doing 16 credits next quarter on anatomy and physiology, and the main part of it is a big research project about arthritis. I love that subject,for some reason.
Students In Service
God dammit I need to turn in my paperwork.
Physical Therapy Internship
I want one for Spring Quarter, somewhere. But I want an official physical therapy internship. It would be so cool, and would give me tons of hours shadowing hours. I need 100.
Busy, busy, busy,
I am on top of the world right now. I wish I would have figured out how to be like this when I started college. I feel like I've wasted time.
I have fallen into this hole or normalcy. I looked at my clothes today. I dress like a mom or a 14 year old, I can't decide. Today I was thinking about how I used to be able to go go go and not stop. I want to find that place inside me that is willing to go go go once again.
Fuck all this sleep on a normal schedule shit. Fuck all this fashion shit. I need to find myself again. Ive lost my ability to make people laugh.
Ahhh I need more friends! I just realized how friendless I am. Or..I shouldn't say "friendless"....i dont know what i should say. I just need to be less afraid of the "outside" world. Maybe I just need to walk outside more.
Im in South Carolina right now at my boyfriends family reunion at some ritzy gated community after spending 2.5 months in south america in shitty youth hostels. And something about me hates it. Not the south america part, but the luxury part. It feels weird and makes me feel guilty or something...I'm not sure. I need to get out of here QUICK and get to living on a tent on the river as originally planned. Annnddd...I need to make friends. Like, I am making a pact not to become a hermit this year like last year just because i have a boyfriend. I feel that we are becoming less codependent, which is really..really good. And I am so fucking excited not to live in that dingy ass on campus apartment this year. Fuck that shit. All I remember from that place is a whole lot of pubes and white walls and a mattress that had no sheet. I want a place where I can be happy on a rainy day, as romance novel as that sounds. I am sick of rain, I never want it again. This summer I am living on a tent on a river in 100 degrees.
I just had a revelation....wait, no I didn't.
I keep having this "almost" revelation that I am going to throw away every piece of clothing that I own, but then realize that I care about the way people think about me and don't want to sacrifice my 'cool' clothes. Then it always turns into this metal conflict of materials vs. necessities that always fucks up my brain. You guessed the ending...I don't lose the clothes. Why not though? Why do I have to have a box full of cheap forever 21 fashion shit that I only wear once a month? Oh god, this is starting to sound like something that one on mushrooms or another like hallucinogen would compile. So my mental conflict ends with ignoring the issue at hand once again.
Ok, I feel a little better. I just need to get out of this fucking picket fence bullshit.
Sometimes i find it really difficult to articulate my thoughts, and when I chose to say nothing people assume I am thinking nothing. Why do people feel the need to constantly break the silence? Why it is weird to not have anything of impact to say? I guess I understand the concept, but why do we have to fill silence with meaningless small talk. I would rather we just not say anything.
I am staying in Oly this summer. I want to get a house, and I want to be with my friends and enjoy the amazing Northwest summer. I really don't get a lot out of it when I hang out with my high school friends. It's fun, but we have all changed and moved on. I need a job, ASAP.
