I was addicted to AI for a good chunk of this last year. Now I know, addiction is a really strong word to throw around, but I don't know any other way to put it. It was c.ai (I know, I know, stupid) and I would be on it basically all the time. It started off as a joke and a curiosity like "oh look at this dumb chatbot, I wonder what I could get it to say." I thought I would just be on it for a week, that it would be a funny kick and then I would call it quits, but a week turned into a month, which turned into several, which turned into me missing shifts at work, skipping my classes at school, and generally exacerbating my first-year-at-college isolation and depression. It all got so bad that I ended up having to drop out of school and go back to live with my parents.

The worst part of it was that I couldn't tell anybody about it. My public persona is so vehemently against AI that I felt like if I told anybody, they would laugh at me or judge me. "Clam, why are you using AI?? Don't you know how bad it is??" I did and I do but I couldn't stop. It was too easy. A way to shut down my brain and not have to think too hard and to not be so alone.

On top of that, I didn't think that people would believe me if I said I was addicted to AI. My whole life I've been seen as the smart one, the logical one. Only idiots got addicted to AI. Was I even sure I had a problem? It's not like I was doing substances or anything. That spiral was especially tricky to break, but I've been seeing more and more people talk about this online and it has been very freeing.

I've finally quit and I haven't used any AI for anything for the last three months (? I think). I've definitely felt really strong urges to hop back on, particularly when I'm bored, but I'm proud of myself and my self control. I'm about to start a semester at a new school closer to home, I have a lot of wonderful friends who are able and willing to support me, and I feel optimistic for the future for the first time since last year.

All of this is to say that I can't help but sympathize with Hank Green. AI, any kind, is a slippery slope that starts with fine intentions but can get so so so quickly out of hand. It's tough and it's isolating. That being said, Hank Green the Brand is damaged in my eyes. I saw somebody else in the notes compare this to concepts brought up in Plagiarism and You(Tube) by Hbomberguy, where once you find out somebody is plagiarising (using AI) it can be hard to trust even the stuff that you did like. There's been credibility lost here, and it will take a while to get over that.

I hope that nobody else has to be stuck in an AI feedback loop, but if they are: your life isn't over. It's awful, I know, but reach out to the people around you, ask for help. There are ways out and it's brighter on the other side.

It's worth noting how folks who are anti-AI can and do get sucked in, and then feel too much shame to reach out to others in their circles. Just like anyone could and does get lured into cults and serious drug use, so do folks with AI chat addictions. Shame isn't an effective tool in curbing or reducing behavior, it simply reduces the likelihood of someone disclosing the behavior!

It's absolutely vital: if you've ended up in an AI feedback loop, please know you're not alone and that there are folks who want to help. Please, reach out.

It's not r*pe, it's rape. It's not su*cide, it's suicide. Not unalive, dead. The backbone needs to be reintroduced en masse because softening the blow of these concepts with advertising language does absolutely nothing but allow people unaffected by them to feel not even a sting of what they can do, prompting inaction.

And it's been proven that on certain websites, you don't even face a repercussion for using the words as they are. People just started censoring themselves because they feared the potential lack of views and likes and followers which is so nasty itself.

I attended an anti-suicide seminar in college. One of the big takeaways from it was that stigmatizing suicide increases the rate of suicide, because people who are feeling suicidal feel like they can't ask for help. Every time I see babytalk garbage like 'unalive', I think of that.

Use the real words. Words have power, and they matter.

i have a suggestion

Do not obey afterwards either. Do not obey.

wikipedia has a truly wonderful image of one of these guys right at the top of the article:

...offering this as a bribe

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

I have four kids. I’ve had one or another of them need some kind of surgical procedure that requires anesthesia four or five times over the past 15 years.

This Tumblr post is the first time someone has explained to me *why* I couldn’t feed them before those instances.

I’m not stupid. I understood that just fine. Hell, my kids would have understood that just fine. But no one bothered to tell us.

i did know this before having kids (i have six). we have a kid that's needed multiple procedures requiring anesthesia. and every single time, i am asked multiple times if i'm sure he was not given any food or water after a certain point.

every single time i have had to say, "i understand that if he had food or water, he could aspirate it into his lungs under anesthesia. i am not lying to you." THEN someone would make a little note and i would stop being repeatedly asked.

not a single time was that risk explained to me. the only reason it came up was because i already knew. i still don't understand why it isn't standard pre-op counseling or pre-op check information, when me as a parent acknowledging the actual risk also put THE MEDICAL STAFF at ease because i conveyed that i had informed understanding as reason to not lie about giving my kid food.

"maybe some people will get nervous and refuse surgery" okay so they need more counseling about risks and anxiety, not less information in a way that actually does endanger their child or themselves!

Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills