Erebr's LiveJournal

I had an epiphany, one of those really good important ones.

That voice in your head that's nagging you, making you feel depressed, awful, and generally killing your self-esteem; that voice is a troll. That's you trolling yourself.  Your inner troll is feeding off of your depression and angst just as an internet troll feeds off of anger. The only way to beat the troll is to ignore it and move on with your life.

The troll doesn't want to see anyone succeed or be happy. It rejoices in misery and rage.  Don't feed the troll.
It said something about a subject close to your heart? It doesn't matter what the troll said. Let the issue go. Let. It. Go. This is the only way to win.

Monday I was super super tired. I was only really awake and functional when it counted: driving, paying attention to class, the important bits of group work, a discussion with a friend. When I tried to do homework, I began to tire out. A coffee helped a bit for a while. But still couldnt stay awake for the homework. I went to bed earlier. Tuesday, I felt fine. I'm not really sure what it was. Although I'm sure that staying up till like 7 am didnt help.

I'm thinking that the diet soda is tricking my body into thinking that it is recieving real soda because it tastes sweet. And my body is reacting like it is supposed to be getting gobs of sugar reamed into the blood stream and burns up all the sugar from the solid food a bit too soon. The result? sugar crashes. I think I might have had a little bit of one on monday. As the reason for switching to diet soda was fear of diabetes onsetting itself, this isnt helping. So today, I got just a water to drink with dinner/lunch. No sugar crash. So I think that might have backed up the 'sweet tasting thing leads to automatic insulin creation' theory. I guess if I'm going to do soda I should do the regular soda just so my body has something to burn up. However it would be better if I quit the soda altogether. That's easier said than done. I craaaave the stuff.

I might have just concluded that I'm bored with the two games I've been playing recently. I need to find another distraction, another release.

What's your release, if it isn't the ole video games? If it is, what do you play? :P

the first thoughts in my head when I woke up today were how to do my homework.

today is gonna be productive, I can feel it!

Theorem: If you have a friend who is not an asshole, their friends will probably also not be assholes.

I just hung out with a friend who's other friends are not assholes, and had a lot of fun. Laughed a lot!

It was good, because the place we were at, the last time I was there, was with folks from my previous job, and they were kind of assholes. (4 commas in that sentence... I would rewrite it, but I'm not being graded!) So the juxtaposition was interesting.

*RRRAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRR*


Occasionally I get good, restful sleep. Today was one of those days.

Yay!

Since last Friday, I've been making a somewhat serious attempt to stop drinking regular soda. I've been drinking diet soda instead. I think I failed yesterday and got a regular dr pepper, but today it was diet again. I tried a coke zero once instead of a diet coke, which was meh. Diet dr pepper has been my mainstay so far. Havent dabbled too much with anything else, mostly because I remember not liking the tastes in the past.

We'll see how it goes. I can definitely tell you I've been jonseing for the good stuff occasionaly.

- New card. (Need to get)

- Homework. (Catching up)

- Discipline. (Need to work on more. Need to start getting up earlier, and other things on this list)

- Fitness. (Need it, want it, have decided to make it a priority.)

- Clean place. (See: Discipline)

- Fix Car. (Well, its not broke, just needs some regular maintenance.)

About 1 am, I decided 'dripping be damned, I dont want it this warm in my apartment!' and turned the ac back down a couple degrees.

Also I reported the drip/leak to the apartment complex. Hopefully they will be here this afternoon and fix it! I would think since it could be a leak they will give me higher priority.

I just realized this might mean I cant leave and go get a parking permit.

Dang.

Oh well, maybe monday.

Totally didnt fix the leak/drip. Removed the air filters and opened the hatch up and put a cup under where its dripping. Then I reported it to the apt complex. Its only dripping while the a/c is running, so the source has to be it.

I might end up late on the homework tonight, but I've been distracted twice by a leak, so I dont really care. :/

First things first. This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lI…
had me laughing hysterically at the end.

(spoiler for why at the bottom of the post)

Second point of the day is that I went to bed sometime about 4 am last night and was woken up about 7:40 am today by someone running a leaf blower outside my bedroom. They finally move on and about 5 minutes later they make a pass around the other end of the apartment. Messed up my sleep x.x

I spent my time before class on campus going from student services to get a form for my dept to sign off on so I could actually be enrolled for classes (the last day for online registration was 2 days before I got accepted to the class by The System). Then I went to that department's reception office to get said form signed, only to be redirected to the program's director for the signature, who, fortunately, happens to be teaching the class! After that, I got a new campus id card, and had supper. I only had to kill about 40 minutes before the class started. Got my signature, and had the class!

Its wierd having only one class on any given day. Its also wierd that I'm going to be having the same class every day of the week. Other than doing that for my training classes at my last job, the last time I was in the same class every day of the week was in 8th grade. Which was... thirteen years ago?

Since I havent had any homework yet, and dont have any books yet (due to not even being registered yet, so I can't access the online only sylabus yet :P) I dont have any idea how only having 'something to do' for about 3 hours a day is going to work. Its late in the day, so my screwy sleep schedule isnt so far a problem, however that might change if/when I get a job. I dont know how bad the workload is going to be, so I dont know how serious I need to be in chasing a job, or how many hours I need to seek. So many things are a waiting game!

I am not looking forward to tuition payments. THAT is a certainty.

I am excited that everything seems professional and that the program's main goal seems to be to give the students a functional relevant portfolio. That was certainly not the goal of the art department, but I guess that's the difference between a field that is elitist and abstract and a field that has in-demand-real world functions. And the difference between professors that have only known classrooms and 'research' vs ones that have worked in the real world. Oh wait, I'm getting jaded here. I guess I'm trying to say that I look forward to this leading to real work with real results.

















(that spoiler!) ( Collapse )