Tasha On The Run

Does anybody still read this?

My first email to the company:

Hello,
I was wondering if you could provide me with a list of classes that Guy
Hasany will be teaching within the next month. I would like to enroll in
the Heartsaver CPR and First Aid course. I looked online, but it doesn't list the course instructor. Thanks.


The company's response:

Dear Brandon,
The next instructor class will take place on March 16, 2012. See below:
BLS Heartsaver Course for Instructors
Please let me know if you have any further questions.


My second email to them:

Thank you for the quick response,
However the class I am interested in signing up for is the Heartsaver
First Aid With CPR & AED. Not the BLS version. My question is
regarding the professional that will be teaching the class, I am only
really interested in signing up for a Heartsaver First Aid with CPR
class if Guy Husany himself will be teaching it. And I was wondering
if you had a schedule of when he will be teaching that specific class.
-Brandon


Their response:

Dear Brandon,
The BLS Instructor Course includes the Heartsaver Instructor certification
and the Core Instructor course. We normally provide this package to allow
the instructor variety of teaching options.

If after all, you will be deciding to take the HeartSaver Instructor and the
Core Instructor course option only, I will have you talk directly with the
instructor. I would appreciate your phone number to allow the instructor
contact you on Monday.

WHAT?

Nothing like a good ol' fashioned drilling to make your problems go away.

I had to update my journal, for the first time in over 7 or 8 months, to say that I just watched the worst movie I have ever seen. I can't even sleep because I have hatred fucking wafting off of me like the stench of rotting flesh. And I need to just sit here, take a minute to calm down so my nightmares don't slit my wrists in my sleep. This movie was an ethereal skullfuck to every storytelling convention that exists. I swear to the curb stomping Gods that if I ever see Kevin Smith in LA, I am going to rage so hard at him my words turn to vomit. I need to go wash my eyes out with some silly shit to reclaim some semblance of sanity.

If I don't wake up tomorrow, Kevin Smith killed me.

I'll dance dance dance with my hands hands hands above my head head head like Jesus said. I am booty popping all over this room right now. And I don't know how to booty pop, so one could only imagine what that looks like. A mess, I'd say. I can't even with this song right now! Like I wish my life had lyrics this intoxicating.

We are not just art for Michelangelo to carve, he can't rewrite the agro of my furied heart. What the fuck does that shit even MEAN? I can't process the diction of those words when strung together like that. All I know is I don't curr because it sounds sexy. This post is laaaame, so I'm outie.

LOOOOOOOOOOOVEE!

I am trying to write a post about my fab trip to Mexico. But the ADD kicks in, and I just can't even finish a. There are youtube vidoes to be watched, and news articles to be read, and work to be procrastinated. I remember back in the day when I would write a post on the daily. Like I had this craving and the only way I could scratch it was by writing funny posts on the internet to make people laugh. No idea how the fuck I managed daily entries or the thoughts to support it, possibly all the free time college afforded me.

I look at my archive and read old posts sometimes and I'm like this post got 200 comments, that was a good post. Or this one got 50, gotta try harder next time. And I can't even complete these sentences without rolling my eyes into the back of my chair. Who cares, really. It's as if the twitters and status updates summarize what I want to say now. Sadly I get way more out of randomly updating a Facebook sentence with a blurb than actually sitting down and thinking about an entry. Anyway, this post is dumb and not funny...

But I swear I'll post some deets on my trip before the end of the year! I'll even end this entry with a preposition in lieu of.

BUT LJ, why u so dead tho?

I am going to Mexico in six days and I have pretty much just given up on all work that I need to do! I plan on being drunk 70% of my seven night stay and shirtless for the other 30%. I am packing a speedo because I can get away with it and like four pairs of shoes. Why does a man need four pairs of shoes in Mexico? Because when my first pair get stolen, I'll have three pairs left!

The amount of work that is piling on my computer is about to eat me alive. Especially considering two weeks after I go to Mexico, I am taking another vacation to visit some friends in silicon valley. And right now, I just do not give an F. Instead of working, I am eating ramen, writing this lame entry, listening to Britney Spears, and waiting until my ramen is in my stomach so I can kill zombies.

Focus, bitch!

"I won’t phunk with your heart if you promise not to phunk with the English language and still think it really clever when you do. Fergie can purse her lips and quaver her white ass all she wants, but it still won’t be reparation for Let’s Get Retarded. Undeniably, if there’s one thing people want to get, it’s retarded. That jam must be quite the anthem during the ride to school on the short bus."

God, I used to be so clever. What happened.