From what I have deduced so far, knowing that I’m definitely on the grey-ace spectrum and most people are not, a sex drive will encourage you to act in absurd ways to fill a sexual need. Folks with a sex drive go through great lengths to impress an object of affection, and because they need sex that person could be anyone at any time. Think about Tinder too. Going to great personal risk with someone you’ve never met just to Get Some. Stories of epic nighttime quests to win the heart and other favors of their crush, mass confusion by not communicating because then they might not get sex that night, personal displays of affection because they are suddenly feeling very sexually attracted no matter the location, like, it’s hormones and sexuality running wild all over the place for most folks. Sounds exhausting honestly.

I suggest you think about your own experiences and behaviors in social situations to see if you’ve had these kinds of behaviors before, especially around good friends. If you have a demisexual drive, you might like the touch of one or more close friends, want them to hug you a bunch, possibly even thought if kissing them, like getting your hair ruffled, etc. It doesn’t mean you’d act on that creepily or anything, but from what I’ve gleaned that’s how most folks feel about Any possible sexy folks they meet. I suggest you treasure those friendships and the love they hold, but try not to pressure yourself sexually there. you don’t have to if you don’t want to, and it’s a drama-ridden scenario you might walk into some day. As a demi, no matter what the friendship is more important than any sex.

If you don’t feel those things, or can’t think of what that might feel like at all, you’re probably more ace. That’s alright news! You can focus on making great friends and other types of love and lose the pressure for sexual leanings altogether. If you don’t feel it, you don’t feel it. Life is way less complicated honestly, and you’re safer at parties because you won’t make stupid sexual decisions while inebriated.

With both of these things though, your appearance is more of a you-focused thing than anything else. You don’t have the pressure to attract a sexual partner, therefore it’s really all about what YOU want to be. It takes time to accept yourself for what you look like. It was way easier for me after I stopped worrying about what others thought at all because I was demi. No one’s ever called me beautiful, but I can look in the mirror dressed like a slob and still think I’m pretty. We don’t need a mate, friend, our duty is no longer reproduction, we look however we look because we choose to, and no one else.

If you are on the grey-ace spectrum and some rando finds you attractive tomorrow, it’d be more weird and uncomfortable than anything else. For me, sex is completely unthinkable with someone i don’t even know. I kissed a stranger once and he wanted to then go have sex in the bathroom. Like. Not worth it friend.

You’re gonna be ok.

Mutuals this is a silly personal thing that’s got me giggling but I OWN THAT SHIRT that Talisien is wearing. So trippy to see them in it, it’s like I get to be copying with this very cool guy. So so flattering to know Tal agrees with one’s personal style enough to have the same sometime as them.

imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer

imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer