Down in the Dumps...

I have just this second put the phone down after a sales/spam type call.


Me:answers phone

Caller: light static, strange noise,strangled plip

Me: Umm, hello?

Caller:(forcefully, in English but with a strong Indian subcontinent* type accent) Can I speak to Brian?

Me:I'm afraid he isn't in

Caller: Irrelevent!! click, dead air


😏 I wonder how his day has been so far!? Been one of the odder calls of this sort lately (generally very brief, or asking about renewing the service cover on a washing machine of a type we have never had or asking for household details for a dubious offer, so they can sell them on) and obviously a call centre out of this country.

But this is Irrelevent!! 😺

After all this time, and with the fairly recent run of disapointments behind us, Orthopedics at Southampton Hospital phoned today to confirm a date for B's hip replacement.

Not much more than that for now, B says it was just a call to give him the date that (hopefully) he will finally be admitted, some questions about his health, and advice for what hw needs to do between then and now. I'm particularly hopeful, as it sounded more like his consultant's secretary rather than the ward. The difference being that the ward simply works from the waiting list (which is what happened before) while the secretary works directly with the surgeon.

The date is in early June, so we will keep our fingers crossed he gets no huge blisters or even ulcers between now and then. He has had a backpack ready packed for months now, and there will need to be just a few things added closer to the date, and I think he wants to buy a new pair of crocs for post-operative wear, if he can find a pair he likes.

No kidding, it will be a big job; since it has been so long coming the replacement is now the hip and a good chunk of femur, as the bone became necrotic and wore away. The 8/9 strips that were screwed into his pelvis to piece it back together are also needing to be removed, so that will be done at the same time. Hopefully there will be a consultation a bit closer to the event so we will know more (read: drag the info out of B piecemeal over several days sigh)

We'll let everyone know when we have any more news, and please pass it on to people on his flist that aren't on mine. Keep him (and the rest of us) in your thoughts, please.

Crosspasted from DW :p

I have no illusions about my looks, less so since various health issues and growing age have left their marks, but I was put off when I kept looking up to catch her with a hidden smile as she looked at me.

P has been back in the house a surprising amount of late, considering she is paying rent to share a house with two other friends (students, but at different unis), and there are a number of things she is noticing about us after a while away. I looked over my glasses at her.

'What?' I asked.

'Doesn't that thing bother you,' she replied, indicating my glasses.

'No, not at all,' was the answer.


I really need to find out somewhere to get my eyes tested properly, but my eyesight (or lack thereof) can change quite drastically and, as a result, I was able to rectify things until quite recently by using over-the-counter 'reading' glasses. It was/is supposed to be a stop gap. The thing is, each of these are marked as to magnification by a little sticker, usually on the top corner of the left lens.

As I'm blind in the left eye the sticker is not only invisible to me in wear but useful if I'm looking for a particular strength (I have several, they are cheap), so I tend to not bother removing them. I only use them around the house. Apparently, this tickles P.

I wonder what her reaction would be to seeing me with the magnifiers that stick away from my face on an arm/stem from a head set, made for close work on crafts?

PS:If anyone is looking/interested that hasn't found me already, I'm eoforyth on DreamWidth too :)

Cut&Paste from DW, because they (probably LJ) are playing silly buggers >:[

I'd promised myself I'd try harder to communicate with the outside world a little more, stop worrying about how commonplace and/or whiney I'm coming across in an effort to connect in some way, cos it hasn't been making things any easier for me. Sure, I'd be exposing just how unproductive, frustrated with a dose of anxiety and generally banal I am, but it just might be better than sitting in the corner of a room and staring blankly at all the things I'd wanted to be doing but had to put on hold for whatever reason.

I know I'm not the one who is completely at fault for this, but I am the one who has allowed complacency, situations and other people's needs/desires/not giving a f**k to to highjack most of the things that gave life flavour, without really adding anything. Poor mobility followed by the effects of the brain tumour then the MS have really not done me any favours, either.

Enough excuses.

So my latest plan is to expose my soft and often scabby underbelly from time to time, in the hopes that it will help me excise some of the nasty stuff that is clogging my brain and allow me to shake some of it off and work my way around it. I know I'll never be rid of it, but unless I manage to do something it just allows it to keep building up.

If that hasn't caused you to unfriend me yet, I'll try and make it worth someone's while from time to time *wibbly smile*

In a somewhat related matter, I've discovered that I can copy/paste my own ficlets from the archive I'd been having problems with, even if I can't edit or anything. I'm going to try and transfer these into a file and maybe put a few more of them on AO3 at somepoint. I'll maybe making a few minor edits as I go, but a few things need a bit more of a going over before I'd be happy letting them loose, and there is one that I am going to be rewriting. I'm also considering going through my entries on LJ's GS100 and posting a few more to archive, or even compiling a few that coincidentally form a sort of arc.

None of this is new content, of course, but I'm hoping to spark something with it :}

I've been meaning to get back into some kind of crochet - either traditional or Tunisian - for a while now, but never seem to get far. I have recently relocated my set of Tunisian hooks (don't ask), and have a set of wooden crochet hooks plus some odd metal ones and the tiny steels (I think they are called?). I've always got on better with crochet than with knitting on the times I can be bothered, so it seems like a good idea. Keep my fingers and mind a bit more active, that sort of thing.

Now, money is tight, especially as the savings I managed to scrimp together for the kids are going to be wiped out sometime in the coming year, so I want to use up some of the odds and sods I have stuffed into all sorts of corners and the like. In particular, I have some cones of yarn I have picked up from both a charity shop and, more recently, from the scrapstore I joined, and I would like to use up some of these if possible. (see comment)

The problem is that these are mainly unusual weights - very fine - and I know that this can be multiplied (or even multi plyed!) by drawing a length out and folding it back on itself, usually in three. I've tried a test of this on a few of the cones (some work better than others) but I'm a bit unsure about this method in the long run as I am finding it a bit messy when I reach a 'join'. Niggling at the back of my mind is the idea that there is an improvement to this method that was mentioned and demonstrated by Aunty_Marion at a dim and distant SWiGGLe. If this is right, and someone can help, I'd be obliged if you can clue me in :)


Please don't expect anything of this in the near future. I'm mainly getting back into practice and trying out a few new stitches at present. Crochet is the obvious choice, as not only have my fingers stiffened (mainly lack of use) but I'm less likely to have problems if/when my hands spasm and I drop the work, pull out the pin or yank on the yarn, plus I find it easier to figure out where I was if I have to give up mid row due to the above or simple fatigue.

Little steps.

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I had a phone call yesterday to say a lady, who had helped me and mine when we were at a low place and continued to think of the kids in particular following that, had unexpectedly been lost.

I'll start out by saying how genuinely sorry I was to hear this, and I'll reiterated my condolences to her entire family, and hope they get resolution soon (((hugs Jane & family)))


This comes at a time when I have been bemoaning the way my life has bombed, that I have lost contact with just about everyone I care about and/or enjoyed the company of, and no longer attend the events and places that I met with them and other like minds in person or online. This (in part) has contributed to my disengagement from just about everything, and circumstance have been hardly positive for things to improve.

I'm still alive, though, and I think it is time I considered examples like this dear and lovely lady to make a concious effort to try and sort out something in what is left of my lifetime.

So, even as disengaged and disconnected as I am, with the lack of mobility and fading functuality both physically and mentally, I'm going to try just a little harder to reach out. Feel free to reach back - or not, yunno, no pressure.

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...I hope to lose it by next Thursday.

From The Sound of Music. It isn't even a healthy snatch of the song in question! 'I am 16, going on 17 ...' followed by a bit of tune. Can't think where I picked it up from.

Apropose of nothing, my youngest, John, turns 17 this coming Wednesday.

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My birthday was nice enough, when you consider I can't presently get out of bed without a lot of effort/pain so I never went out or anything. All three of my kids were home here (it being a Saturday) but P has actually been here for most of the week as she came over for some reason and by the end of the evening she felt 'odd', enough so not to drive back to her accommodation in the dark. She only felt well enough on the evening of my birthday, but I've had her company more than expcted.

Presents. I got real presents! Not that I don't normally, but J in particular had only a small income so would get me something small I can appreciate. This year I was obviously in need of a bit of TLC, plus there had been a few things I'd mentioned I would probably like to get for myself.

B had noticed some of my comments about mead, and how it has been many a year since I've had any, and I didn't think I could get any locally. As a result, he mail ordered three bottles from the Lyme Bay Winery, something we'd tried a good few years back at the wine shop at Lulworth Cove. Unadulterated by spirits, a truly traditional mead that is pure honey. I had a capful to try after lunch, and about a sherry glass worth with dinner (that was pushing it, considering meds - the three bottles will last for who knows how long).

P had bought me this incredibally soft and floofy top to wear, considering how much the temperature effects me now. Kids were amused to catch me burying my face in it from time to time.

C bought me a book I'd been interested in and never got around to ordering for myself, Locked In Time: Animal Behavior Unearthed in 50 Extraordinary Fossils by Dean R. Lomax (Ills Bob Nicholls). From his own teenage investigation into evidence of a horseshoe crab's death to many reports and observations of other fossil remains from across the world, it looks to be very interesting, I'm wondering if it will need to be read in its entirity or if it can be dipped into :)

We had decided on ordering a takeaway to save the infirm among us having to prepare food, and the girls also picked up a cake from the supermarket when they went out to pick up the order, so we all ended up pleasanly stuffed. I eventually found myself a good spot to settle into in the bed and called it a night.

I miss having friends about, but I can't deny I would have found it difficult to cope with more than a card, message or phone call this year, so I was content with B and all three kids :)

Love and hugs to all that want them/read this!

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Missed a phone call this morning, It appeared to have originated from a London landline number, but that means nothing as they sell such things to businesses who aren't even in the country these days. B took the dead air/checked number, but expected it was another of the sales calls we have had a rash of.

There was another call this afternoon, which rang off again by the time C and I had located the handset. Seemed to be the same number, so I wondered if it was, say, one of our friends who still lives there, and hit the redial option. After a couple of strangled rings a recording of a perky sounding male USAsian started. There was no greeting, personal or business name. Instead I received the following message:

"Hi! Dial '1' to delete yourself, '2' to speak to our executive."

Now, I know not to dial anything, but...

Delete myself? Not 'remove [my] details from their dialling list', but to delete myself!?!?!?


Should I be worried?

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