El Diario Esplendoroso de Enrique

1st October, 2000
Age: 21 years, 0.94 days

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*The Sparkly Purpleness Diary of Enrique Licka-Bonbon*

1 chupa – v.v. the goodness.
14 bluesberry and the chocylit muffinses - v.v. the badness.

Dearest Diary of Enrique,

Enrique is being the whole twenty and one years oldness today. It is being the little bit of the funniness -- but not in the hee hee way -- that Enrique is not noticings any differences than Enrique was yesterday. Enrique was hopings to be feelings like the mans today, oh Diary. Enrique's Papa was always saying that when he was being twenty and one years oldness he groweded his berry firstest beards. So all the last weeks Enrique was not shabings Enrique's face once so that Enrique would be lookings like the mans but, on the Friday, Enrique's master was complainings because the stubbling Enrique had groweded was chafings at Enrique's master's thighs.

It has been berry muchly the quietness day for Enrique. There has not been berry the muchness to be doings, other than to be watching the tapings of last week's Days Of Our Libes and marbel ober the fantabulousness of Marlena. Enrique gotted all the cleanings of Enrique's master's collectition of the bottles of the Ty Nant done all the ready, and all of Enrique's master's cufflinks is being all the shininess and polisheded. Enrique was eben gibing Mister Bunny (Enrique's master's extrally especialness stuffeded bunny friend) the bathings this mornings, because Mister Bunny was the littleness on the estinkiness side. Berry the ickiness.

So, Enrique is being all the lonesomeness this weeks end. Enrique is habings the penthouse all to Enrique's self because Enrique's master's father is being in the city of Newness Yorked for the busyness meetings, and Enrique's master is bisiting with Miss Victoria Hardbitch*ahem*wick alls the weekend. Eben Missus Marple is being away from the homes today. Missus Marple's sister is not being the wellness and Missus Marple is going to the smallness town of Eskridge Canziss to be cheerings her sister up. Missus Marple did be the pologisings for missings Enrique's birthday but Enrique is knowing that Missus Marple is the bestest person to be habings around when any ones is sick. So Enrique is understandings that Missus Marple was habing to be seeings her sister.

Enrique's master was surprisings Enrique on the Friday by offerings that Enrique could be habings the weekend off, like the vaycayshuns that is being in the movies. But where would Enrique go? What would Enrique do? Enrique is not knowings where the Stone of Yellowness park is being, and Enrique is not knowings anyones in the city of Metropolis except Enrique's master. But Enrique's master was not wanting Enrique to be goings with him to the home of Miss Victoria Hardbiwick. Enrique's master tolded Enrique that Miss Victoria Hardwick is not likings Enrique and Enrique's twinned brother, Esteban, to be being in the same place because we is too the creepiness. *shrugs* If only Enrique was habing the friends to be bisiting. But Enrique is not habing any of the friends. Enrique is only wishing that the man of Enrique's dreamings had comed back to the store of books. Maybe Gabe would habe wanted to be Enrique's friend and be spendings Enrique's birthday with Enrique?

Enrique had hopeded that Enrique's master would be rememberings Enrique's birthday and be calling on the phones to be sayings "Happy Birthday" like Missus Marple did this berry morning. But Enrique's master did not. Enrique is supposing that Enrique's master forgotted, or was being too the tiredness to be reachings the phones in the home of the not so berry richness fambly of the Hardwick's. Enrique's master is always being so berry the sleepiness wheneber he is at the home of the not so berry richness fambly of the Hardwick's, because Enrique's master is spending most of his time in the beds.

Oh the wellness, Enrique should be gettings to the beds hisself now, as Enrique's birthingday is being the nearly obers. *esigh*

Goodness bye for now,
E.

11th January, 1994
Age: 14 years, 102 days

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*Dirt-smudged scrap of paper liberally stained with goodness-knows-better-than-to-ask*

Dearest Newness Diary of Enrique,

Oh, Diary. Enrique's hearts is the berriness brokeded. Brokeded beyond all of the fixtures! Enrique has ::tear stain:: sworeded to be lubbings nobody eber, eber agains, because the soul of Enrique is hurting the too berry muchly to be the bearings! But Enrique cannot be lettings Miguel anybody be seeing how Enrique's life is being the obers. Enrique must be estrong, all the whiles Enrique's insides is aching like the time Enrique was the laughings so berry the hardness at the hoofingprints that Donkey Glotón was kickings into the buttocks of Miguel *smiles fondly for a moment before the tears well up again*

But Enrique is not the laughings now, and Enrique is fearings that Enrique will neber be the laughings again.

Enrique must be walling off Enrique's heart so there will be being no more endurings of the pains of lubbings dasheded against grey rocks of despairing. And if eberyone was the knowings! Oh, Diary... If only there was being somethings to be taking Enrique's mind off of the hurtings, as it is hurtings the muchly worse than when Papa was deciding Esteban and Enrique was being the oldness enough to be workings. Papa decideded that Esteban was to be workings with Papa in the town, doing the Papa works. Papa was always likings Esteban the betterness, so Enrique was being the okay with thats. But the Mister Santo camed ober for the dinners and was lookings at Enrique again. And then Mister Santo was saying *sniffles daintily* was saying that Enrique should be workings with Enrique's mama at the brothels. Mister Santo was calling Enrique a girl! And Enrique is being esure that Mister Santo was sayings it to be the insultings! *shakes head sorrowfully* Besides, that would be makings Mister Santo Enrique's boss, and that would neber be the goodness idea!

*sniffles some more* Enrique was walking pasted the changing room for the boys for the fourthed time, when Enrique was oberhearings the boys talkings about Enrique. That is not being so the unusualness, but then Enrique hearded the boys sayings the nasty things about Enrique. They was calling Enrique the berry badness words, likes maricon... just the berry badness words ::tearstain:: And Ramón was the laughings. Ramón was findings that the berry muchly funniness! Oh Diary... Enrique was breakings into the thousands of the pieces in that moment. Now, Enrique is knowing that Enrique is not being the mostest attractives boy, nor is Enrique being the esmartness, but why cannot Ramón be lubbings Enrique like Enrique is was lubbing Ramón? Eben if Ramón is not lubbings Enrique the back, there is being no reason for the laughings at Enrique likes that. Enrique has only eber been the niceness to Ramón! Ramón is being the pendejo! Enrique does not care that Enrique should not think such things about other peoples. Enrique is hurtings too the muchly. Enrique is habing no dreams, now. Enrique's dreams are eshattering like the voice of Celine Dion.

Enrique must go and be hiding now, oh Diary. Enrique must be composing hisself before returnings to the home of Enrique, or Miguel and Esteban will be teasing Enrique for cryings again.

Goodness bye for the now, newness diary.
E

4th August, 2000
Age: 20 years, 308 days

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*The Sparkly Purpleness Diary of Enrique Licka-Bonbon*

48 49 chupas...

Dearest Newness Diary of Enrique,

The man of Enrique's dreamings will habe to be remaining as the dreamings, oh Diary. Eben though Enrique was habing the dreamings of Gabe to be lookings the forwards to, Enrique was esobbings hisself to the sleepings last night. *sniffles* It is being Enrique's own faultings. Enrique should habe been knowings not to be getting the hopes up. Enrique is only settings hisself up for the disappointings. That is what Enrique's master's father is telling to Enrique all the times. Enrique was all exciticated from meetings with Gabe the week ago, and was returnings to the lubberly store of the prettiness books at the time of the lunchings yester the day. Enrique did not eben be going to Enrique's fabourite Sephora's *esigh* firsts. Enrique waited for the berry longness time, and the nasty counter person was glarings at Enrique like Enrique's master does when Enrique is dropping the chupa on the carpetings. But now matterings how muchly Enrique was waitings, Gabe neber cameded.

Enrique waited so berry longness that Enrique was being eber so the lateness for meetings with Enrique's master at the home of the poor girls with the berry little clothings, that Enrique's master was leabings without Enrique. Does Diary be knowing how berry muchly the leathering shoes is bitings at Enrique's feets when Enrique is habing to be walkings that berry farness? That would neber be happened with Enrique's sequinning pumps. They is fittings Enrique the perfects, likes the second skins. And they is making Enrique’s legs be lookings berry the longness! Enrique's master was buyings them for Enrique, when Enrique’s master was bisiting the Frenchings in Paris. Enrique's master is being eber so patient with Enrique, eben though Enrique is estupid and clumsiness. Enrique tries so berry hardness to be the bestest serbant in the worlds for Enrique's master, but Enrique is always habing to be punisheded. Enrique is wishing that Gabe had been turnings up, then Enrique would be habing more to be lookings forward to in Enrique's lifes than watchings Miss Marlena on Day of our Libes, and waitings for Miguel to next be bisiting with Enrique. Last time Miguel was bisiting, Miguel was bringings Enrique's littleness sister, Patricia Luisa, and her husband, Ramón. That was being berry the orkwardness, oh Diary. Ramón is still not likings Enrique, but Enrique is finding Ramón as handsomeness as eber. Sometimes, when Enrique cannot be helpings it, Enrique is still the wishings. But Enrique is thinking that there is being no "the one" for Enrique *sniffles* That Enrique will neber be more than the serbant, and will neber be anyone's "eberything".

Why is Enrique always so berry the wrongness about the mens? Enrique is always getting so berry exciticated when Enrique is meetings the new mans. Enrique is estupid. Papa was being the rightness all the long. But at least that is leabing Enrique with the plentiness times for the shoppings. Enrique will be shoppings tomorrow. Enrique will finally be using the card of credit that Enrique's master was gibing to Enrique for the emergencies, and Enrique will be buyings the panties of the lace that Enrique has been the eyes for ages. Enrique would be feeling muchly fetchings in the black lace and purple satin trims. And Enrique will be forgettings all about Ramón and Gabe. Yes, Enrique will!

Goodness bye for now,
E.

10th January, 1995
Age: 15 years, 101 days

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*Esparkling Purpleness Newness Diary of Enrique Licka-Bonbon*

Dearest Newness Diary of Enrique,

Oh Diary, the Canziss of America is being eber so the berry beautifulness! The city of Metropolis in the Canziss of America, where Enrique's newness master is libing, is habings the thousands of the prettiness lightings. Enrique has neber been seeing so the many! The night times are being all esparkly and bright. *bounce* Enrique is lubbings it! *bouncebounce* Enrique's newness bedroom windows is lookings out ober the city, and Enrique is likings to be watching the lightings do the twinklings at the time of the nights.

The city of a thousand vroom-vroom cars is being the berry loudness and exciticating. Enrique's newness master's keeper of the home, Missus Marple, was taking Enrique the shoppings to be teachings Enrique the likings of Enrique's newness master. Enrique was tryings to be the friendliness to ebery bodies in the shoppings, but the people of the Canziss of America was not being the friendliness backs to Enrique. May be the people of the Canziss of America was not hearings Enrique? After the all, there was being the lots and more lots of the beep-beepy machines when Missus Marple was payings for the grosseries.

Enrique is thinkings that Missus Marple was habing the achings of the head, because she keepeded tellings Enrique to be berry the quietness. But Enrique could not be being the quietness, Enrique was too exciticated! So Missus Marple was buying Enrique the chupa thing. Enrique tried to be eatings the chupa thing but it felted the funniness in Enrique's mouth. Missus Marple soon fixeded that, by takings the prettiness stripeded outsides off of the chupa thing and puttings it back in Enrique's mouth. Missus Marple was telling Enrique that it was being the coaler flabourings, but Enrique is not thinkings that can be the rightness. The chupa was not tasting any the thing like the coals! Oh Diary, Enrique has neber been tasting the nicenesser things than the chupa things! Enrique has already been habings four of the chupa things this week! Missus Marple may habe been habing the achings of the head, but there was being lots of shoppings to be doneded. Missus Marple was eben buyings Enrique the berry prettiness, esparkling, purpleness diary! She tolded Enrique that the scrappies of the papers was beings “berry unsanaterriness.” Enrique is not knowings what that word is meanings but is sounding not berry the niceness!

Enrique is lubbings Enrique's newness esparkling diary, oh Diary! Newness esparkling diary is being the prettinessest diary Enrique has eber been habing! *big grin* And Enrique has neber been habings the diary with the lockings before! Especialment not the lockings that is being in the shape of the heart!

Enrique was arribing at the home of the richness fambly of the Luthors on the night of the Saturday. Enrique was feeling so berry muchly of the nerbousness. Enrique was so wantings Enrique's newness master to be likings Enrique, and wantings to be keepings Enrique. After Esteban was "letted go," Enrique could not be bringing such eshame on Enrique's Papa, and Mama, and littleness brothers and sisters. *shakes head sorrowfully* Enrique was promising Enrique's self to be the bestest manserbant eber, and to always be obeying Enrique's master the immediateness! Enrique is berry the goodness at keeping the promises to Enrique's self. But Enrique's master was not being in the "penthouse" -- which is not beings maded of the magazines after the all. No wonder Esteban had confoozeded Enrique -- to be greetings Enrique, but Missus Marple was being there and she smileded the bigness at Enrique. Enrique was likings Missus Marple straights the way! She gabeded Enrique the "cookees" with the chips of the chocolates being in thems. Missus Marple was showings Enrique to Enrique's newness room, and tolded Enrique that Enrique's newness master was being in the meeting. That must habe been the berry exciticatings for Enrique's newness master. Enrique is always likings to be meetings the newness peoples!

On the day of the Sunday, Enrique's newness master was greetings Enrique ober the breaksfast meals. Enrique had eated Enrique's breaksfast in the kitchens with Missus Marple, like the bestest manserbant eber! Enrique's newness master was then takings Enrique in the limozeen to the "sawnah." Enrique had to be sittings in the moistness, surrounded by the nudeness mens, in just the towellings. And the mens keepeded lookings at Enrique's towelling. Enrique was being so embarrassment because Enrique is being esmoothness all obers. Enrique's newness master and his friends is being so berry the hairness! But not all obers, oh Diary, not like the one man Enrique was seeings. The one man was eben habing the hairiness backs and the hairiness shoulders! Enrique had neber been seeings such the things before, and is hoping neber to be seeings agains! *shudders* Enrique's bestest friend, Inéz Izquierdo Muñoz, was always saying that the hairiness was the icks. Enrique is not mindings the hairiness, Enrique is likings it! But not that muchly!

This morning, Enrique's newness master's son was arribing home from the schooling. He is being only the littleness bit youngnesser that Enrique is being, too. Enrique's newness master was mostly the unhappiness with Enrique's newness master's son. From what Enrique could be hearings through the walls, Enrique's newness master's son was gettings in the troubles at the school of the eckselseeor and was expelleded! *gasp* And then Enrique hearded Enrique’s newness master’s son call a Mister Reynolds person the berry badness word! Enrique was eschockeded! Enrique did not be thinkings that the richness fambly of the Luthors would be using such the wordings.

Enrique's newness master's son is being the berry fashionableness balded, has the prettiness blue eyes, is likings to be sayings the word that Miguel is likings to be using when talkings about what he is doings with the girlies. *blech* But Enrique's newness master's son is also doing some berry estrangeness things, oh Diary. The hour ago, Enrique's newness master's son was askings to be seeings Enrique's nippleses! Of course, Enrique was showings Enrique's nippleses to Enrique's newness master's son, because that is being what the bestest manserbant eber would be doings! Besides, Enrique's newness master was tellings Enrique that Enrique must be obeyings Enrique's newness master's son as if Enrique's newness master's son was being Enrique's newness master hisself! But it hurted a littleness when Enrique's master's son flickeded Enrique's nippleses.

One thing Enrique is not likings so berry the muchly about Enrique's newness master's son, is that he keeps callings Enrique, "José." May be Enrique's newness master's son has meeted Enrique's father, or littleness brother, José Jr, and is confoozing Enrique with thems? But Enrique is not seeings how. José Jr is habings the bignesser nose than Enrique, and the squintier eyeses. And Enrique's Papa is being the mustacheded. Hmmmm, Enrique is not knowings. *shrugs*

But Enrique must be gettings the things ready to be gibing Enrique’s master’s son the scalping massage in the bathings. It is being the goodness that Enrique is habing such the strongness fingers!

Goodness bye for now, esparkly newness diary,
E

6th January, 1995
Age: 15 years, 97 days

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*Dirt-smudged scrap of paper liberally stained with goodness-knows-better-than-to-ask*

Dearest Diary of Enrique,

Enrique is being berry the nerbousness tonight, because tomorrow nights Enrique will be arribing in America! America! *twirls* It is being an exciticated kinds of the nerbousness, though, oh Diary. Enrique has neber been being any places else than :: salt water stain:: and it is being America! America! *twirls* Enrique is also the littleness bit escareded to be the flyings on the planes to the Canziss of America. Enrique has neber been being flyings on the planes before, oh Diary. What if the planes is getting the tireded? That would be berry the badness. But if Esteban can be the flyings on the planes, so can Enrique be *nods firmly*

Enrique is also the nerbousness because Enrique will be meetings the richness fambly of the Luthors for the firstest times. Enrique is not being esure what to be sayings, as Enrique has neber before meeted the peoples who is being richness the nuff to be ownings more than one of the cars! *gasp* Besides, Miguel is always tellings Enrique that Enrique is talkings the funniness, but Enrique is not tryings to be making Mister Lionel Luthor, Enrique's newness master, the laughings.

What if the richness fambly of the Luthors is not likings Enrique? What if they is sending Enrique back home to ::ink stain::? Enrique would be so the shameded, and ebery bodies would be laughings at Enrique *sniffles* Mister Lionel Luthor, Enrique's newness master, was not likings Enrique's twinned brother, Esteban, so why would he be likings Enrique? But Mister Lionel Luthor, Enrique’s newness master, must habe been likings Esteban the littleness, because he was findings Esteban the nother job with the not-quite as richness fambly of the Hardwicks.

The other peoples on Enrique's boat -- the boat is not actualment belonging to Enrique, oh Diary -- is being just as exciticatedly nerbous as Enrique. But none of thems is flyings on the planes to the Canziss of America, and meetings the richness fambly of the Luthors. Enrique checkeded! The other peoples on Enrique's boat is being berry the noisiness all of the times, oh Diary, and the mens with the guns is keeping on tellings them to be shuttings up. The noisiness has been gettings the worseness eber since Enrique's boat stoppeded makings the foods three of the days ago. Enrique hisself is not mindings so the muchly, eben though Enrique's tummy is the rumbles and achy. *tummy rubbings* Enrique is used to not habings the food, because ebery end of the week Enrique's Papa would be bisiting the horseys and all of the moneys would be goneded. *esigh*

Some of the other peoples on Enrique's boat habe bringeded lots of the clothings, and the books, and the things with thems. When Enrique askeded, Enrique's Papa tolded Enrique that Enrique would not be needings the clothings when workings for the richness fambly of the Luthors. Enrique was eshockeded, because Enrique did not want to be workings in the nudeness in the times of the winterings. Enrique has hearded about the snowings that is happenings in the Canziss of America. Enrique was tellings Enrique's Papa so, but Enrique's Papa just calleded Enrique an imbécil because he was meanings that Mister Luthor, Enrique's newness master, would be buyings Enrique the goodness clothings. The clothings worthiness of beings the manserbant of the richness fambly of the Luthors. So, Enrique could not be bringings any of Enrique's things with Enrique, excepting Enrique's diary and the pencils - Miguel tolded Enrique it would be doubles as the weapons. Enrique was not understandings. Papa maded Enrique leabe eberything behinds for Enrique's littleness brothers and sisters. Eben Enrique's fabourite raggy doll, Muñeca. *sniffles*

Enrique is going to be missing Enrique's Papa, and Mama, and Miguel, and Eduardo, and Patricia Luisa, and Guadalupe, and Jose Jr, and Carlota-Sofia, and Alejandro, and Carlos, and Salvador, and Xavier, and Rosario. *esigh* Enrique is missings thems all the readiness. Enrique is berry tryings to be the brabeness, but sometimes -- and Diary cannot be tellings the souls this -- at night, when the other peoples on Enrique's boat is the sleepings, Enrique is cryings the littleness. Not the muchly, though, because Enrique is being the man now - Enrique's Papa said so.

Goodness bye for now,
Enrique (the American)

P.S. Please Mister Luthor, Enrique’s newness master, please be likings Enrique! And please be keepings Enrique. Enrique will be the bestest manserbant that there eber was being! Enrique is promisings!

2nd September, 2001
Age: 21 years, 336 days

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*The Sparkly Purpleness Diary of Enrique Licka-Bonbon*

2 chupas – v.v. good - but Enrique has been berry the business

Dearest Diary of Enrique,

So the farness, Enrique is likings it here in the smallness town of a thousand cows - MOO! *giggles* - eben though there is being no Sephora, *gasp* no Prada or Guccis, *double gasp* and none of the niceness cappycino-makings shops. *pouts* So Enrique is habing to be thankings Cher for the intynets, and for the card of the crediting that Enrique's master was gibing to Enrique. Five of the days habe passeded since Enrique was leabings the city of a thousand bathroom attendants and Enrique has been enjoying most of thems. There is being muchly of the freshness air and prettiness mens, and eben though there is being none of the shoppings that Enrique is likings, there is being the places in the smallness town of a thousand cornfields that is selling Enrique's chupas! Enrique had been worriedness about the chupas. But not too the worriedness, because Enrique's master promiseded to be shippings the chupas to the castle especial for Enrique! Enrique's master is so berry the goodness to Enrique. It would making Enrique be thinkings that Enrique’s master was carings about Enrique, if only Enrique’s master was not telling Enrique that Enrique was needing the chupas for the licking practices. Not that Enrique is mindings the practices, because - and do not be telling Enrique's master, oh Diary - the chupas is tastings the muchly betterer than Enrique's master is tasting.

One thing Enrique is definitelies not likings about the smallness town of a thousand flanneling shirts, *shudders* is that all of the mens that Enrique has been seeing arounds has been berry the prettiness but dresseded like they is being the blinded and mirrorless. Enrique has neber been seeing so muchly of the flanneling since the one time that Enrique's master tooked Enrique on the weekly hick-hunt to be throwing the eggs at the mens with the red necks. Enrique's master was getting berry the noyed at Enrique for not wantings to be throwings the eggs, but Ernique could not be ruinings the men with the red necks' clothings – not that the eggs would habe been making muchly of the differences, as hideous as all the flanneling was being all the readiness! Enrique just cannot be messings up the couture, not eben the flannelings. It is just not being doneded. *shakes head sorrowfully* Enrique was thinkings before Enrique was coming to the smallness town of no designer labels, that the flanneling was being the berry muchly of the badness, but Enrique was shockeded – SHOCKEDED – to be seeings the men walkings around with the flanneling shirts and the non-matching t-shirt underneath! Who is doing that? How is the men’s wibes lettings the mens be leabing the homes dresseded like that? It is enough to be searifying Enrique’s poorness eyeballs!

Enrique and Missus Marple has been meeting the niceness peoples in the last five of the days. But some of the peoples Enrique has been meeting by Enrique’s self habe not been being the berry muchly of the niceness. Enrique was bisiting, ::sticky chupa stain:: the selling place of the not-quite no cinnyminned cappycinos. Enrique was berry politeness, askings the pierceded girly behind the counter for the cinnymins. Enrique does not be knowing why, but the pierceded girly tolded Enrique not to be getting Enrique’s panties in the knottings. Enrique checkeded but there was being no knottings in Enrique’s panties. Besides, how was the pierceded girly knowing that Enrique was wearings the laciness panties? Espooky! May be the pierceded girl is the psychedic? Then, when Enrique was asking agains for the cinnymins, the pierceded girls was telling Enrique to be gettings back on the boat. Enrique was not understanding. Enrique did not be coming to the smallness town of no cinnymins on the boats. Enrique was flyeded here with Missus Marple in Enrique’s master’s father’s helimacpoter. It was berry muchly exciticating, but Missus Marple was not thinkings so. Missus Marple is not liking the flyings.

Enrique was not being esure what Enrique had doneded to be offendicating the pierceded girly. No mattering how politeness Enrique was being, the pierceded girly was being the not berry politeness back to Enrique and kept saying that Enrique was orderings the latte. Just when Enrique was going to gibe up and habe to be resorting to the serbice stationed coffee, a niceness girly with the flippy blond hair and interesting sense of the stylings was rescuing Enrique. Enrique was not able to catch what flippy-haired blond girly was sayings, she was speaking too muchly the fastness for Enrique, but the pierceded girly was making Enrique's cappycino order - without any of the cinnymin, though. Flippy-haired blond girly turneded out to be called Miss Chloe, and Miss Chloe tolded Enrique that she is going to the higher school here in the smallness town of no villas. Miss Chloe was the big smilings when Enrique was thankings and callings her "Miss Chloe." Enrique is not knowings why that is being, because that is being Miss Chloe's name.

When Enrique has not been checking out the mens the shoppings and drinkings the non-cinnyminned cappycinos, Enrique has been getting the castle of the Luthor’s ready for Enrique’s master. Enrique was habing the strictness instructions for the preparationing of the castle of the Luthor’s. The pharmaceutical man was lookings the funniness at Enrique when Enrique was askings for the flaboured lubricatings lotions. *shrugs* Maybe it was because Enrique was asking for so many of the bottles – one for ebery room in the castle that is habing the seatings. Enrique’s master is likings to be prepareded, in case there is being any of the bisitors. Enrique is hopings Miss Victoria Hardbitcwick *ahem* is not comings to bisits any the timing sooness. Miss Victoria Hardwick is always bringings with her Enrique’s twinned brother, Esteban, and is then confoozlings Enrique and Esteban with each the other. Besides, Esteban is always wanting to be talking to Enrique about all the girlies that Esteban has “bangeded.” Enrique is not likings that. It is being dismaspectful to the girlies. Also, it is being the ewwwwwwy. *shudders*

Oh Diary, Enrique cannot be beliebings that Enrique was berry almost forgettings to be mentioning Enrique's newness rooms. Missus Marple keeps calling Enrique's rooms "a sweet." Enrique is preferring to be thinkings of Enrique's rooms as the manliness and the prettiness, not the sweetness. Enrique's master was berry kindliness to be lettings Enrique's be decorating Enrique's room all by Enrique's self. Enrique painted the walls the delicate lilacky colourings, and the curtains are the labender. Enrique is lubbing it. Enrique did not use as many of the featherings as Enrique was plannings, but the featherings was makings Enrique keep the sneezles. *shrugs* Diary would not be beliebings how muchly difficults it was being to be findings the purple satiny sheets in the smallness town of one department store. Enrique was habing to be orderings them ober the intynet. But now Enrique's rooms is being exactement the way Enrique has always been wantings. Enrique is only wishing Enrique was habing someone (besides Missus Marple) who was wantings to be seeing Enrique's rooms. *esigh* Enrique's master will be arribing early in the morning of tomorrow, so Enrique must be makings esure that Enrique is gettings enough of the restings, just in case Enrique's master is needing the serbicing of Enrique.

Goodness bye for now,
E

P.S. Enrique was forgettings to be sayings, that this ebening, after Enrique was habings the dinners, Enrique was realising that Enrique was needings to be doings the lastness minutes of the shoppings at the supeymarket of the town of badly tasting fashions. Enrique Miss Marple could not be waitings until tomorrow for the icecreamings, especialness because Enrique's master does not like Enrique Miss Marple eatings too the muchly icecreamings because it will be makings Enrique Miss Marple the fatness. But what Enrique's master is not knowings, will not be hurtings Enrique's master. At the supeymarket, Enrique was findings the icecreamings the easiness, but there was not being Enrique's fabourite flabourings, so Enrique was ponderings the other flabours when someone was pokings Enrique in the shoulders. It was being Miss Chloe, who is habing the berry jabbery fingers, oh Diary. Enrique could not be beliebing that Miss Chloe was remembering Enrique after the whole of the afternoon, and was eben wantings to be saying "Hello" to Enrique *delighted grin* Miss Chloe was telling Enrique that she was boreded because she was waitings for her father to be finishings in the froot and vej seckshun. Miss Chloe was telling Enrique that Miss Chloe's father, Mister Sulliban, was debatings the merats of each and ebery vegetable there was being, and was taking the hours and more hours. Enrique can see how checkings ebery vegetable could be takings foreber, oh Diary. Miss Chloe was pointings Mister Sulliban out to Enrique, but Enrique could not be seeings any blonded men any the where. May be Mister Sulliban was being behind the bigness pile of the *blech* cucumberers that was beings in the ways. *shrugs* Enrique is being esure that Mister Sulliban is being just as berry niceness as Miss Chloe, but E could not be stayings as Enrique's *ahem* Miss Marple's icecreamings was the melticatings all ober Enrique's niceness jacket.

30th June, 2001
Age: 21 years, 272 days

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*The Sparkly Purpleness Diary of Enrique Licka-Bonbon*

7 9 chupas – v.v. bad

Oh Diary, Enrique is being berry exciticated. *bouncebounce* In the fact, Enrique has not been being so muchly of the exciticatedness since Enrique was discoberings the giantness chupas! *esigh* Mmmmmm… ::drool stain:: So berry the giantness. The reason Enrique is being so exciticated, is being because Enrique is the mobing! Enrique was only findings out because Enrique was oberhearings Enrique's master's father tellings Enrique's master that Enrique's master is gettings the job the farness away at the factory of poo in a smallness villa. Enrique was berry naughtiness listenings in, but Enrique could not be helpings it. Enrique will habe to be askings for the punishings later, oh Diary. But muchly laters, when Enrique's master is being less piss- angriness. Enrique is being so berry the happiness about the mobing the place of the smallness villa, but Enrique's master is not being. Enrique was being shockeded to be hearings such badness words being yelleded by Enrique's master! Enrique is still the blushings. And Enrique must be rememberings to be cleanings up the breakeded glasses and remobing the lettering openser from the walls. Enrique cannot be understandings why Enrique's master is so berry muchly not the happiness about the mobings to the place of the smallness villa, but may be Enrique's master is happinesser in the bigness apartingment in the city of a thousand cappycino shops? And if the smallness villa is being berry the smallness, will it be habing the nuff rooms for Enrique's master's clothing? Because Enrique's master's closet is being the bignesser than Enrique's wholeness room! Enrique does not be remembering Enrique's master's father sayings any of the things about Enrique, but Enrique is belonging to Enrique's master, and whereber Enrique's master is goings, Enrique is goings. Enrique is hopings that Missus Marple is comings to the place of the smallness villa, too. Enrique is likings Missus Marple berry muchly, because Missus Marple has neber been being the nastiness to Enrique, and is all the ways gibings to Enrique the cookies with the chippings of chocolates in thems. Yumsy!

May be when Enrique's master is libing in the smallness villa, Enrique will be decoratings Enrique's room? Enrique has all the ways been wantings to, but Enrique's master's father was sayings that Enrique was beings rydik ridykyul the imbaseal, and to be rubbings the hardnesser! But Enrique's master might be lettings Enrique do the decoratings all by Enrique's self! Enrique is wantings the purpleness and blacks, with the littleness hintings of the silverings and pinks. And may be Enrique's master will be all the so lettings Enrique be puttings the prettiness stars on the ceilings? Enrique was seeings them on the telebision the one time and the stars does the glowings in the darkness! *bounce* Enrique would be lubbings that! It would be remindings Enrique of the home with Enrique's Papa, and Mama, and Esteban, and Miguel, and Eduardo, and Patricia Luisa, and Guadalupe, and Jose Jr, and Carlota-Sofia, and Alejandro, and Carlos, and Salvador, and Xavier, and Rosario, and Juliana. Ober Enrique's side of the straws there was being a bigness rustings hole in the corridge-gated irons, and Enrique could be watchings the stars all the nights. It was not being so berry muchly of the funness when the rains was comings, though.

When Enrique is libing in the place of the smallness villa, Enrique is hopings to be makings the newness friends. Enrique has not been habing any of the friends since Inéz Izquierdo Muñoz when Enrique was libing in :: chupa smudge:: Enrique remembers hopings so muchly for habing Inéz be being Enrique's sister of the law when Enrique was marrying Ramón. But it is almost the happens, now that Enrique's littleness sister, Patricia Luisa, is marryings to Ramón. *esigh* Enrique would lub to be habing the realness friends of Enrique's own, oh Diary. Enrique is getting so the berry loneliness, and there is being the things that Enrique is being too the embarrasseded to be talkings to Missus Marple abouts. At least Enrique is able to be talkings to Missus Marple about the mens that Enrique is likings. Missus Marple is knowing all about the mens, and gibes Enrique the berry goodness adbice.

Oh Diary, Enrique was just habing the thinks! What if the place of the smallness villa is not habings the Sephora? And the Gucci? And the Prada? And the Ralphy Laurens? What will Enrique be doings with hisself? Enrique would just diiiiiiiiiieeeeeee! *sobs* But there cannot really be such the place in the Canziss of America that is not habing the Prada and the Sephora, rightness Diary? Enrique must be askings Missus Marple right the way! Missus Marple will be knowings. Missus Marple is knowing eberything!


*scampers off, leaving a streak of purple ink across the page*

as at 2nd August, 1998
Age: 18 years, 305 days

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28th July, 2000
Age: 20 years, 301 days

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*The Sparkly Purpleness Diary of Enrique Licka-Bonbon*

6 chupas, since the time of dinners - v.v. bad.

Dearest Diary of Enrique,

Enrique is not being esure what has happeneded, oh Diary, but Enrique is suspectings that Enrique was this berry time of the lunchings meetings the man of Enrique’s dreamings. Enrique has neber felted this way about any of the men befores. No man has eber been treatings Enrique with such respectings. Enrique is not being esmartness, but Gabe – the man of Enrique’s dreamings – was not treatings Enrique like Enrique is esimple, or estupid, and was actualment the listenings to what Enrique haded to be sayings. Gabe was eben askings for Enrique to be gibing opinions on the topics, like Enrique was knowing the things! That has neber happeneded to Enrique befores. The mens Enrique is meeting is usually the laughings at the way Enrique is speaking. Enrique’s English is still not being the perfectness, oh Diary. But Enrique does be trying. Enrique does be berry trying!

But Enrique is gettings the heads of hisself. Tonight, Enrique was going into the town with Enrique’s master. Ebery Friday, at the time of the lunchings, Enrique’s master is likings to be visiting the home of the poor ladies who cannot be affording the berry many of the clothings. Enrique is not sure why the girls cannot be affordings the clothings, but can always be gibing Enrique’s master the talcum powder to be bringings home. *shrugs* Enrique does not be likings it at the home of the poor girls, because it is smelling the funniness, so Enrique is always going to the shoppings.

Enrique had already spended almost all of Enrique’s money of the pockets at *esigh* Sephora. Enrique muchly LOVES Sephora. But Enrique was still habing enough to be buying Enrique’s fabourite GQ magazines. Enrique was still habing the shortness time, so Enrique poppeded into the store of the pretty books. That is where Enrique saweded Gabe for the berry firstest time, oh Diary. Enrique was looking for where the GQs was hidings, when Enrique was spotting Gabe walkings through the door. Enrique is not knowing what was making Enrique’s heart be jumpings so, oh Diary. May be it was being the way Gabe’s hair was being the ruffleded by the wind? Or the way Gabe’s tie was being stuckeded on Gabe’s shoulder until Gabe was the noticing? Or may be it was being the way the lights was glinting off of Gabe’s lubberly hair? Enrique is not knowing, but Enrique was knowing that Enrique was habing to hear the voice of that prettiness man. Enrique betted Enrique’s self that it would make Enrique shiber. And Enrique was the rightness, but Enrique is getting the heads of hisself again.

Enrique did not be thinkings that Gabe was noticing Enrique, not like Enrique was noticing Gabe, because Gabe was lookings the best of the sellings books, and then Gabe was lookings at the not-lies books - Enrique just knewed that Gabe was being the cleberness. But then Gabe was headings up the aisles that Enrique was estandings in. Now, Enrique could not be bearing that such the handsomeness man might be passing by Enrique without eben the "Halo," so Enrique was nudging Enrique’s four Sephora baggies further into the aisle with Enrique’s foot. Do not be angry, oh Diary. Enrique was not tryings to be hurting Gabe, only to be hearing Gabe’s voice – eben if Gabe was the yellings. Enrique is being used to the yelling. It is being all that Enrique is hearings some of the days.

But Gabe did not be the yelling, oh Diary. Enrique was eshockeded, and not just by the non-yellings. Gabe eben apologiseded. To Enrique! *gasp* Enrique had neber heareded any the body else sayings esorry, excepting for on the telebision, so Enrique was not knowings what to be saying. Enrique certainly could not be telling such the prettiness man that Enrique was being to blame for the trippings. Besides, Enrique was being too enthralleded by the voice of Gabe. Oh Diary, Enrique will habe to be habing muchly moreness of the chupas if Enrique is keeping on thinkings of the voice Gabe’s. And Enrique is already the naughtiness for habings the six!

After apologisings, Gabe eben insisticated on buyings Enrique the coffee, because Gabe was feelings the berry badness about nearly fallings splat on Enrique. Not that Enrique minded, because Gabe did be grabbings Enrique’s arms with Gabe’s strong manly hands *unwraps chupa number seven* when Gabe did start the falls…

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Er, where was Enrique beings? Oh, that is being the rightness. Gabe did take Enrique to the café in the store, and Gabe was asking the questions all about Enrique’s self. And Gabe was eben answering all of Enrique’s questionses. Then Enrique was extra-specially naughty -- do not be telling Enrique’s master -- and was habing the éclair of chocolates. Gabe did be buyings it for Enrique, he must have been seeing how Enrique’s tummy was rumbles at the sights of the desserting selectings. Oh, how Enrique has misseded the chocolates when Enrique’s master was putting Enrique on the dietings. But Enrique is the positives that one éclair with the creamings, cannot be truthly the badness. *nods*

Enrique should habe known that Enrique would be making the messes. First Enrique was gettings the foamings of Enrique’s cappycino all ober Enrique’s face. Enrique could be telling that Gabe was trying not to be laughings at Enrique. Then Enrique was squeezing Enrique’s éclair too berry tightness, and the creamings was spurtings out. Oh Diary, Enrique was so embarrassment! Enrique could not be stopping blushing. Gabe must habe been thinkings that Enrique was being the berry foolishness. But it was all Gabe’s fault! If Gabe had not been habing such the prettiness blueness eyes, Enrique would not habe been the staring.

Enrique wishes he could habe stayed there with Gabe all the day long, but Enrique was realising that he was already being late for picking up Enrique’s master from the home of the poor ladies with little of the clothings. Oh how angry master was being. Enrique was punisheded berry muchly. The bottom of Enrique is still the pinks.

So, Enrique had to be runnings away from Gabe. Enrique was not eben able to be askings for Gabe’s number of phone dialing. Enrique was knowing that ebery minute that Enrique was the lateness would be ten more smackings with the paddling bats. Enrique trieded to be explains to Gabe but Enrique was only confuseding. But Gabe was neber asking for Enrique’s number, so Enrique should not be assuming that Gabe was wanting to be seeing Enrique again. May be Gabe was feeling esorry for Enrique? That must be being it. Miguel was always telling Enrique that people only talkeded to Enrique because they was feeling esorriness for him. *esigh* It is being Ramón all ober again. Enrique should not be doings the things to Enrique’s self.

Still, Gabe is being the man of Enrique’s dreamings, and the dreamings will be the goodness for the changes. Eben if Enrique is neber seeing Gabe agains, at least Enrique was habings the one hour of feeling especialness with the especialness man.

Enrique must be going to be moisturising Enrique’s master’s head for the ebening.
Goodness bye for now,
E.

P the S. Enrique was gettings from the Sephora *esigh*:

♥ Flaboured body powders - pepperminting.
♥ Fragranceded plumpings lippy gloss - shimmery pinked.
♥ Eyeshadow palettes for Missus Marple's birthday presents - pretty purpleness shadings
♥ Prada perfume - berry niceness
♥ Glamourous glubs and glub gels for Enrique's skin.
♥ Buttery handy scrubbings
♥ Newness manicurings kits
♥ New creamings for Enrique's master's head
♥ Rosiness perfume salbes
♥ Treatments for the night times
♥ Maskings of the faces
♥ Labender candles and the banilla oils for the burnings
♥ Bath saltings for the scrubbings
♥ Honey soyamilks hair washings
♥ Newness showering cappy
♥ Prettiness flutterbying clippys for Enrique's hair

Enrique did be considerings the lashes of the falseness but Enrique is not needings.
The niceness lady behind the counter was gibing to Enrique the freeness samples. That was makings Enrique so berry the happiness.

10th June, 1994
Age: 14 years, 252 days

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*Dirt-smudged scrap of paper liberally stained with goodness-knows-better-than-to-ask*

Dearest Diary of Enrique,

Enrique's twinned brother, Esteban, was sendings the letter of writings to the fambly this morning. The postieman broughted the letter - with the realness stamp of America stucked on it! - for Enrique's Mama to be readings, but Enrique could not be wakings Mama because Mama was passeded out sleepings too heabiness. Enrique is knowing that Enrique should habe been waitings for Mama to be sober wakings up, but Enrique was wanting Enrique's littleness brothers and sisters was wanting to be knowing about Esteban's newness life in the America of Canziss. Esteban was writings that he is libing in "the penthouse" of the berry tallness building, and that the building is being eben tallnesser than the buildings in the city of ::food stain::. That cannot be the rightness, oh Diary. Enrique was always thinkings that "the penthouse" was being the dirtiness magazine full of the icky girl picatures. Esteban cannot be libings in the magazine of icky girls, can Esteban? Enrique is not beliebing so, but Esteban is liking the icky girls berry muchly. *shrugs* And the ”That Is Being Incredible" show, that Mister Santo is sometimes lettings Enrique be watching on the telebision, is being full of estrangeness things. There was being this one man on the telebision who was being dresseded all in the colour of brown - berry estrangeness, oh Diary. Berry! Eben the shoes was being the browness! *shudders* Ebery body is knowing that black is being more the slimmings. So berry esilliness!

One day, when Enrique is being the man, Enrique is going to be wearing the handsomeness suitings and pretty laceness underwears that Enrique is seeings in the “Vogue” magazines. Enrique is not understandings why the magazines is neber habings the men be modelling the underwears in the magazines. The men would be looking muchly prettier, Enrique is thinkings!

Esteban's letter was also reading that being the boy of the fambly of the richness' house is not being berry the different from Esteban's firstest job working with Papa's customers friends. Esteban is writings that Mister Lionel Luthor is neber being home during the day, so Esteban is getting to be watchings the ”Sally Jessy Raphael“ show. Enrique is not being esure what that is all being about, but Esteban is saying there is being more of the makes up than there is being at Mama's brothel working place, and more of the argumenting, too! Now, Enrique is likings the makes up as berry muchly as any other boy, but eben Enrique must be admitting that there is being the limitings.

At least Esteban is sounding the happiness with Esteban’s newness life in the Canziss of America. If only Enrique was not habing to be working at the brothel of Enrique’s Mama ebery day, then Enrique could be practicing Enrique’s English muchly moreness and be going to America, too. Enrique cannot be waitings, oh Diary!

Goodness bye for the now, diary.
Enrique the American *grin*