Land of the Alter Ego

Seems fitting to leave this here.

Despite the fact that I don't post often, I do still lurk on LJ quite a bit, and I can't quite imagine leaving. That said, so many folks I know and follow are departing that I am at least taking steps to cover my rear, as the saying goes. I started a blog at Dreamwidth years ago, just never really used it, but that's clearly going to change. I'm starting the frightening process of migrating this enormous mess over there, though I suspect the queue is rather long at the moment. I've been on LJ since 2001 and can't say yet if I will eventually sever ties, but I'll definitely be in both locations for the time being. So if you're heading over to DW, please do find me there. It's a bit barren at the moment, but that will change soon. http://emluv.dreamwidth.org

Fifteen years ago, Live Journal was the place to be, as regular phone reception in/out of NYC was snarled all to hell, and cell reception became nonexistent with the fall of the towers. But all of us in the city at the time could post to our journals, letting friends around the country and the world know that we were safe. Hard to believe so many years have gone by. Sometimes it still feels like yesterday. Thinking of you all...

I am very glad tomorrow is Friday. This has been a painfully long week. Unfortunately, it's also been the sort of week where everything takes five times longer than it should, other people are not doing their jobs, and unwanted interruptions keep rearing their ugly heads, which basically means I'm still somewhere in the middle of Tuesday's to-do list. There's also the chance I'm coming down with something, or else allergy season has already kicked off, because my nose is stuffy and my throat is tickly. In short, I'm a cranky girl who needs a real weekend. In the absence of one I'm willing to settle for the pretend sort, where I still work but at least don't have to answer the phone or email.

On the upside, as of this past Sunday I have art hanging over my fireplace. We won't discuss how many years that took me. I really want to measure a bunch of other unframed things I have lingering in the closet and go see if I can find some cheapish solutions at Ikea, but I've been a bit spendy lately so I think the rest of the picture hanging must wait at least until after pay day, and more likely until after I do my taxes. Instead I am going to try to weed out some more books to donate to the library and possibly get a few stacks off the floor. Yes, I need a new bookcase. This should not be a surprise. But it's also another good reason to hold off on a trip to Ikea. That place is dangerous and my impulse control when it comes to shelving is in short supply. I'll just start telling myself how much easier it would be to vacuum if I could shelve all the random book piles, and before I know it I'll be loading heavy boxes into the back of my car.

I'm having one of those days where I don't quite know what to do with myself. Oh, I got work done and paid bills and cooked a pot of chili for dinner and did some reading. But none of it's doing anything to cut through this... restlessness? Boredom? Not quite sure what it is. But it's a dangerous feeling, because I have a tendency to handle it by going and buying doughnuts or ice cream or something, despite the fact that hunger's not the problem and I'm not really jonesing for something sweet. I just... don't know. Don't want to watch anything, my books aren't grabbing me, I opened a couple of writing projects and just kind of stared at them. It's a mystery. Blah...

First thing I saw online this morning, and I just burst into tears. This week is wrecking me in the worst way... 

So Mercury is retrograde and being quite obvious about it, David Bowie is dead (and how is that possible?), and a friend forwarded me the dates for my high school 30th reunion (which I have no intention of attending. I haven't been to any of the others, why start now?), and I'm feeling very old and Monday-ish. Not the best mood for tackling big goal type stuff. The problem with new years is that I start them with the best of intentions, and then reality comes along and chuckles and points at me.

On the upside, I've got a flight booked to Atlanta the second week in February for a couple days of quality face time with my co-workers (which I'm basically just considering group-hug week in my head). It's been forever since I saw most of them outside of a conference setting where we were running around meeting with clients and kind of just waving at each other as we passed in hotel lobbies or on the street. Also, I'm drinking lovely red wine right now. Unfortunately I should be editing a manuscript, which I kind of forgot until after I'd poured, so... oops. So that's being tabled until tomorrow. Instead I'm going to go read something fluffy and call it a day. And in future, I will try to post on some other day than Monday... 

Happy New Year, everyone! Yes, I'm still here. I'm actually a bit dismayed at how long it's been since I've posted, as I do read my friends list regularly. I kept meaning to do a nice long catch-up post, but as is the way of these things, the longer I put it off, the more I had to say, and the more daunting the task. So I'm declaring a clean state and just starting fresh with the new year. Suffice to say that I survived 2015. It had its ups and downs, per usual, but came out mostly on the plus side in the end.

As for 2016, I have high hopes and many plans. I'm still trying to iron them out as I ended up getting back from visiting my parents in CT for the holidays a few days later than intended. (Delayed flight which meant I would have missed my connection, so I had to rebook, pushing my trip back to Los Angeles from the evening of 12/29 to the morning of 1/1.) I'm just shaking off the last of my jet lag (exacerbated by my staying up to watch the ball drop and then just... continuing to stay up until I needed to leave for the airport at 3:45 am), and trying to energize for the most physical thing on my to-do list, which is to get back to running. I was sporadic at best the past year, and I miss it on both a physical and mental level. I just have to retrain myself to crawl out of bed early enough to run mornings, because if I don't go then, I just don't go.

Beyond that, I've got a bunch of work projects in the works, both agency-related and personal, including a revamp of my work blog and a long-long-long-overdue designated URL. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. Anyway, more on that when it's ready to launch, which I hope will be sooner rather than later, but it's just one of several things I'm juggling and the most flexible of the lot.

I'd like to plan a nice vacation for the fall, but the reality of visiting my parents over Christmas included the realization that we've reached the stage where I need to go back and spend time with them more often to help them get some things taken care of that just won't happen if I leave it solely to them. So chances are more of my travel time will take me to CT than to other places I'd prefer to go, such as Vancouver (for a non-conference trip for once) or Paris. I won't say neither is possible, but they're looking less likely.

I will end there, with a promise not to be a stranger. I hope everyone's year is off to an excellent start.

2014 has not been my favorite year. It's been challenging, and most days that would have been putting it kindly. And it hasn't just been me. While I've been juggling work and personal issues, I've also been watching my friends struggle with their own work and personal issues, and more than a few health problems that have me sending out virtual hugs and crossing fingers. Still, I visited a few new places with work, signed some new clients, and caught up with a few people I hadn't seen in a while. Other friends had good work years, with new accomplishments, and even a couple of new businesses. There are adorable new babies in my circle, and a new home owner. Hopeful things.

But I'm really looking forward to 2015.

My apartment is clean. There's a pot of chili on the stove (because I'd like a little more spice in my life), and black-eyed peas and an arugula salad lined up for tomorrow, and the fridge is filled with lovely healthy foods. I came home from visiting my family for Christmas to two checks in my mail box. I've set up my spreadsheet for tracking my writing output in the coming year, and I'm polishing up my list of resolutions -- and their accompanying action plans. And I've got plane tickets for a really great trip come April.

I know what I want 2015 to look like, and I'm going to make it happen.

Wishing you all a very wonderful new year, filled with joy and love and good health, and great success with all your plots and plans.

Last night I dreamt I was on a fishing boat. Not one of those little day cruisers, either, where you just drop a line off the back, but a serious trawler. I woke up with the smell of salt in my nostrils. The night before last, I dreamt I was in Paris.

Not sure if this means my brain's in storytelling mode, imagination kicking into overdrive, or if I just really, really want to travel somewhere...