Average Once Upon A Time rewatch experience:

*new character enters on a motorcycle*

My friend: who’s that

Me: huh. I don’t remember

*takes off his helmet to reveal dark hair and a full beard, wearing a leather jacket, man obviously in his thirties*

Me: WAIT—

My friend: what?

Me: *screaming and wailing and flailing*

Me: OH MY GO—it IS HIM

My friend: ??? Who??

Me: *choking back tears*

Me: Pinocchio

squirtle and psyduck playing tag while blastoise and wartortle take a break and watch

if the truman show was real and also existed in like 2022 i think people on here would call truman their poor little meow meow and they would make joke fancams of him to megan thee stallion songs and theyd draw him as a catboy and also that the discourse surrounding it would be legendary

who is jerma

This is the funniest new thing I’ve learned today about the Swedish/Danish cultural exchange.

The Swedes have these adorable cakes called Prinsesstårta aka Princess Cakes.

When I saw this I thought “Oh! I know those! We have the same thing here in Denmark!”

The same thing? These beauties.

I persent to you, the Kajkage aka Kaj Cake. They’re smaller but pretty much made of the same ingredients and they have fan clubs dedicated to finding the ugliest versions at bakeries. They’re named after the frog Kaj from an old children’s show.

I have a strong suspicion some Dane saw a Prinsesstårta and thought “If I added eyes and a mouth…”

OP you can't just say this and then not show us the really ugly ones

As you wish

EVERY TIMELINE

yeah ok

Wait I need to be able to reblog this

They aren't called fortune cookies for nothing.

im really enjoying the Petra Parker trend and i would like to see more superheroes with a gallery of villains who are evil as shit but also (mostly) very respectful about them being queer i think that's hilarious

I like the idea of a super villain explaining it to their goons "Look, my entire thing is mad science. If you start spouting transphobic nonsense while wearing uniforms with my logo, I'm no longer the mad science villain, I'm the transphobia villain. Branding is important. Branding is how I get people to buy my death rays and giant robots. That is why I had to throw Johnny off the building when he said "Spider Man" like that."

spider-woman (petra parker) villains react to her coming out as trans

kingpin: ...this changes nothing.

electro: [very clearly uncomfortable but not willing to interrogate what that says about himself] so is this, like, a permanent thing?

rhino: you are...AH!! [drops the bags of money he's holding and gives spider-woman a bone-crushing hug] MY FRIEND!!! YES!!! my cousin's wife, she is like you as well! beautiful woman. maybe you know her? you do not? is not how that works? i see. you two must meet. we will arrange dinner after i break out from raft again. uhp--no arguments. i have decided.

vulture: this is exactly what fox news warned me about...

green goblin: [mockingly] good for you, bug! though don't think i'll go easy on you because of this. after all, you and i both know i don't have a problem killing girls! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

sandman: [after five minutes of failed explanations] oh, like the thing rhino's cousin's wife has

white rabbit: girl!!! me too!!! no way!!! you know, this is perfect timing actually, beetle and i have been looking for a third, if you're interested...

lizard: [really not getting it] ssssso you have to inject yoursssself with girl DNA how often? seemssssss inefficient. you know, connorsssss only injected himself with lizard DNA the once. maybe you ssshould assssk him to make girl DNA for you.

doc ock: [known the whole time] so...you finally figured it out.

mysterio: [trying to fuck with her] so...you finally figured it out.

mr. negative: [gives a single, curt nod and doesn't say anything but makes sure to gender her correctly during their fight]

morbius: HISSSSSSSS!! spider-man!! vhat brings you to zhis dark corner of the city, at so late an--vhat? spider...woman now? [drops the accent] oh hey that's sick. listen if you need an endocrinologist i know a guy. he's over in brooklyn so it's a bit out of the way--oh you're going to diy? no that makes sense. hey, i really appreciate you telling me. no it's no problem at all. thanks! [starts doing the accent again] NOW BEGONE!!! FROM MY LAIR!!!!

electro again: [still really uncomfortable] i just don't think it's an unfair question to ask. remember that time you were like all mean and had the four extra arms and you said shit like "the die is cast?" how do i know this isn't another one of your phases?

carnage: [sprinting down the street on all fours holding the first syllable of a slur like piccolo charging his special beam cannon] fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffFFFFFFFAGGOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

i paid good money for these big things and these hormones, johnny. better get used to em.

amor mia

got my new boyfriend from Ikea. Unfortunately he’s made of particle board and with a single thrust of my hips I broke him into five pieces

sure is yeah. keep me updated

Flash: So Pariah Dark was your strongest rogue?

Phantom: Sure.

Flash: You ever worried he'll come back?

Phantom: No, he isn't a problem any more.

Flash: Someone's confident.

Batman: Why not?

Phantom: I ate his core, duh.

Flash: What?!

Superman: Excuse me?

Constantine: *sighs in relief*

Batman: Explain.

Phantom, staring at them like their stupid: I ate his core because he was a threat? Ghosts are Semi-Cannibalistic, if a fight becomes too serious and dangerous, the victor usually eats the loser to get rid of the threat.

Superman: So thats it, you just eat your villains?

Phantom: No. Those are mostly brawls, or their obsessions getting in the way of mine, they aren't overly serious and they don't pose a serious threat. Pariah did, he was dangerous, he would have spread his influence through every dimension he got his claws on. It was the only way ro ensure he would no longer pose a threat.

Superman: Thats still so messed up.

Phantom, annoyed: Oh I'm sorry Superman, does my culture offend you?

Superman: Well- no I just-

Phantom: I'll be sure to let everyone in the realms know we can't fallow our instinctual customs that have been ingrained in us for eons because it make Superman upset.

Superman: Wait that isn't-that isn't what I-

Phantom: *huffs, makes a portal, and floats inside*

Flash: Wow. He really just said Superman was racist.

Green Lantern: Is being a ghost a race? Or a species?

Green Arrow: I think they're a species?

Flash: Okay then Speciesist.

Superman: I not- I didn't mean it like that!

Constantine, amused: Its what it sounded like mate.

Batman: Hmm.

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right