Random Mayhem

*********Disclaimer*************

If you read this journal like as not you will be OFFENDED or made angry at one point at another. If you can't handle that, piss off.

Everybody's born to do a certain thing
and if yer deid jammy ye find it.

and if your guid at it, just keep doing it
untill yer fed up, then do something else

And yet yer here tae make babies and look after the place

Ye know?

~Billy Connolly in Spiritual City by the Waterboys


Hey all..
I'm Eirik, a 39 year old redhead from Canada..
I'm a blacksmith and leatherworker and I also do historical re-enacting... oh and I'm also a larp geek... yup that's it, run fer the hills.

I'm also an excellent cook and I make a mindbending trippple chocolate cheesecake if I do say so myself.

but to add on as I"ve changed since I wrote this, I"ve discovered I"m an alien. I wear blue bermuda shorts if I wear any shorts at all and I live almost entirely in the past. I"m in love with Mae West and Marlene Deitrich and that woman from that movie.. you know.. the one that did that thing that one time.

I recently bought one of those old univac computing devices that currently takes up the whole basement of my house and is on a par with a 486. I"m upgrading it to turn it into an evil souled steampunk type babbage thinking machine that will destroy victorian england.

My personal hero's are Captain James Hook, Professor Moriarty, Nikola Tesla, Gomez Addams and Teddy May. Look em up if you don't know, what em I the fucking encyclopedia britannica? Alligators in the New York Sewers are real. I offer semi regular virgin sacrifices to the dark god Shirley Temple. I'm a master of useless information and some might say I"m mentally unballanced. I like puppies.

My Life began as usual but my parents noticed I was a little strange as I grew up. in grade three I read the Hobbit. By grade four I had started in on Lord of the Rings and by grade 6 had finished the Silmarillion. I still think Frodo's a whiner, Sam was the Real hero. No I"m not a pervy hobbit fancier.

I rarely wear womens clothing, it's a kilt not a skirt and yes I have a whole wardrobe devoted to pre 1900 clothing. I do know what bloomers are, and I am a viking. I fight rebated steel. I own no lacey underware.

I like coke not pepsi and I tend to talk either too much or not enough. I have few credible emotions left, I think that while women have cooties so do men. Cooties are a fact of life, one you must accept in order to propagate the species. I have a beautiful Girl in my life now, who has worked to melt the cold. I don't think people read this far, in fact I highly doubt anyone will read all my information.

Here is the top secret super amazing hidden message from me to you. Divorced Got I, What Guess Hey. It's a word game, jumble it up fer the message.

I watched quantum leap. every episode. I"m gonna shut up now. I"m was a pirate till some bastards decided it was trendy so they all started pretending to be pirates and now I must hate them. I"m going to join the dark side, the fun side. I shall be a Ninja. Or a spaceman, or a space ninja.

Loki is the cream filling of my Life.

"Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property so that they may more perfectly respect it." ~G.K. Chesterton

Aliit ori'shya taldin