annoyed with myself!
It is four in the morning I should be sleeping. Of course being an insomniac doesn’t help much. Every day is the same ritual; I get up extremely early, make tons of these promises to myself that I will abide and than I sit there and watch myself break those promises every night! I am by far sick of it!
For the past two years I have been promising myself that I will stick to my diet. I don’t exactly know why, but I can’t seem to stay focused. Every night I say the same thing “oh it’s ok; I’ll just start tomorrow…”
I wouldn’t get so stressed out if I knew that I couldn’t do it. The thing is I CAN do it, I proved it to myself before. I began watching what I ate when I was in the seventh grade; I lost twelve pounds from it. in my freshmen year of high school I watched what I ate and lost fifteen pounds. If I were able to do it than without a problem, why can’t I do it now? The fact that I was younger drives me crazy, you think because I am older now I could have more self control . . . but instead I somehow have LESS self control. It’s not fair.
I need to find that self control I once had. I can’t keep living my life unhappily. I need to take control of my life. The only way I am going to find true happiness is through weight loss. I need to do something, and I need to do it fast! Starting tomorrow, September 27, 2008 I WILL stick to a diet. I am promising myself this right now. There will be no more ok I’ll just start tomorrow I am going to start tomorrow and there will be no excuses! I have to learn self discipline and I need to quit spoiling myself.
Starting tomorrow there will be a new Eileen Sweeney in town.
Good night, I am going to try to get some sleep, I will more than likely talk to you a couple times tomorrow to tell you about my success.
Bye