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Discaimer: Another old essay, this one from around whenever Inventing Anna was coming out.
To start this off, an author that I really respect said it best. People who get RPF get it, and those who don't likely never will. That being said, now that I feel somewhat temporally removed from what seems like is going to be a yearly general callout against F/F Kpop RPF, I think it’s worth talking about it.
Firstly, my credentials. I write RPF. And you know this, since you're on my Dreamwidth right now. I write E-rated RPF. Omegaverse, too. I have friends who are creators, enjoyers, uninterested in participating, and militantly against it, and I’ve heard all of their opinions, whether or not they’ve know my own stance.
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(this is an essay from December of 2022 that I just rediscovered and it's basically ready to go so why not lmao.)
Since I’ve already talked a Ton about how queer I think Omegaverse is, it’s time to switch gears and fuck monsters.
To start, I want to talk a little about trans pain. When I was in middle school, right around when I was starting my first puberty, I became obsessed with werewolves (I know now that’s a transmasc stereotype). There was something comforting in the ways that artists and authors put that transformation, that alienation from one’s own body, to words and images and it made me feel cool and not like someone who was horrified at their own boobs. (My werewolf OC was named Alec Fang, by the way, and his girlfriend was a reskinned Annabeth Chase lmao).
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“Yeah,” I shrugged, “but it’s different for me because I’m living as a man. I don’t even know if I’m still butch anymore.”
She nodded. “It’s true that you and Rocco have a tough time figuring out how to be yourselves and still live. But believe me, honey, you’re not alone in the feeling that you’re not a man or a woman.”
I sighed. “I don’t like being neither.”
Edna moved her face close to mine. “You’re more than just neither, honey. There’s other ways to be than either-or. It’s not so simple. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many people who don’t fit. You’re beautiful, Jess, but I don’t have words to help people see that.”
—Stone Butch Blues, Leslie Feinberg
I’ve been working on this post for literal years, not knowing if I was going to post it. I’ve totally Ship of Theseused this whole thing multiple times over. I think there are probably about eight different posts all woven together here. This is, like, all my business just out on Dreamwidth, but I like writing about gender, and I like sharing it, so please be gentle lmao. I don’t actually believe in coming out, but it’s a funny title.
chapter one: figure one, the pros and cons of crushing on mark lastname
I have a very “my body is a mech suit and I am the pilot” relationship with my body. It’s always been more of an instrument with which to interact with the world than a thing to exist inside of. And yet, obviously I felt the need to pay a monthly subscription service to my pharmacy for Man Hormones (about the same as my Discord subscription, if you’re wondering), and undergo full-on surgery to cut off my boobs. So clearly, if I want to change my body, I must have a personal connection to it as well.
( Read more... )“You called me Choerry. I’m Yerim. Choerry wouldn’t be here.”
In writing kpop fanfiction, authors sometimes need to make the decision between using a stage name and using a real name. (Sometimes this is complicated by idols like Vivi, who use different names in different personal contexts as well, but let’s go with the standard set of two names for simplicity.)
An author might use a stage name to create more distance between their depiction of an idol and the real person, using a stage name to reinforce how their rpf is using a public persona as the basis for a character and not the real person themselves. Or they might use it because it’s an alternate universe where it makes sense or it works thematically, or because they just plain want to.
( Read more... )[commentary] flesh is tender (I am not)
Jan. 19th, 2023 01:08 am( Read more... )
the (subjective) art of writing smut
Nov. 14th, 2022 11:12 pmI’ve written like 40 smut works total over both my ao3 and tumblr, and once you get to that point you kinda have to be qualified to give advice, right? You don’t have to read this or listen to me or think this is good advice. This is the way I personally like to view the smut I write. I enjoy the process of writing it this way, and that is about as successful as I think I can be at a hobby.
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so they're taking down vlive I guess
Oct. 7th, 2022 07:32 pm
Hi. I just remembered that I have a Dreamwidth!
There is something deeply upsetting to me about the removal of things from the internet. It’s not true what they say about things never really being completely gone. Sometimes, you can’t get things back.
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Mac Apps (lmao)
Jul. 20th, 2022 02:05 pmAs I continue to procrastinate on posting my thoughts on the RPF ethics debate, I was reminded that I had a half-written Mac app recommendations post. (And also my friend just got a new Mac so this is for their benefit too). And, like, I know literally no one follows me for my tech advice, but I've used a Mac for about 8 years at this point—probably longer if I think about it, and I've tried a *lot* of free utility and productivity apps over the years.
I'll be splitting this into a few sections, and I'll denote which of these apps have paid options that I don't use 🔴, which ones I have paid for ⭐, and which are completely free 🟩.
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[commentary] princes and saints
Jul. 12th, 2022 10:35 amSurprise..! Princes and Saints was me.
I actually have so much to say about this one! Firstly, this was written on a dare. Oomf said "write a fic with unironic cbt" and I went "bet." Which, like, I didn't know quite how out of my depth I was. I'm not in the kink community at all, and although I have friends with requisite experience, I don't have any firsthand knowledge of the community/culture (so I'm very sorry if I got anything wrong 😖).
I figured this would be a good opportunity to go over my research process because I had to do so much research for this one. Like, every element of this was new to me in some way.
This is the basic process:
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Omg Sorry I Will Not Shut Up About Gender
Jun. 1st, 2022 03:29 pmhello I wrote this last month for funsies and then I realized it was a cool pride month post so happy pride I guess
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Main Ship Haterisms
May. 26th, 2022 12:11 pmHate!! I hate—wait, I'm done hating. Today is love…no, actually. I am a hater. I love to hate. I am more than aware that I am going to come off as a big old hater in this post. The truth is, I love a lot of main ship fics, and in my opinion a lot of the best authors in this fandom are writing primarily ships that I’m including in this post! This isn't about specific fics or authors, and it’s not really about the ships either. It’s about fandom culture.
With that terribly vague disclaimer out of the way…Lipsoul, Chuuves, 2jin, and Yvesoul. Let’s talk about it.
( Read more... )Fic Here
Warning: The following post has, like, a little about my relationship with my own body and discussions of gender affirming surgeries. I’m dividing this into sections so you can just skip that if u want.
My own Gender things
( Read more... )Okay onto fic talk.
( Read more... )Misc thoughts I could not find a space for in this essay.
( Read more... )Hold on also I found this thesis that I skimmed that could be interesting to y'all.
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viseul alien thing
Apr. 7th, 2022 12:50 amI am unwell so I wrote 650 words of alien vivi inhabiting haseul's body...I do not know what this is I thought it might be interesting uhhh and I don't have any more than that. not based on anything in particular. spaceships. maybe venom? I think that may be where some of this came from. anyway.
I don't see myself developing this story any more, but writing this much was fun (and now I really need to work on my igff fic.
ao3 rating: Mature under the cut
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tdov 2022 drabble
Apr. 1st, 2022 10:04 amHappy late tdov I was planning on cranking this out last night, but then there was a tornado warning in my area and I...did not do that. Anyway, wanted to see what a transmasc gowon could look like. cheers.
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[commentary] boy toy (working title)
Jan. 30th, 2022 05:18 pmi might update the fic title before i post it, but i wanted to get me thoughts about the fic down before they left my brain and I also have the goal of using my dreamwidth more this year.
content warning for blunt talk about trans rep in fics.
( Read more... )I have so many thoughts about this fic. Link!
(And also a disclaimer that I wrote this on dictation, so if there are typos, I simply did not catch them, sorry!)
Last year, I saw Directors’ Cut happening and I didn’t know if it was specifically is Seventeen fandom thing or what, and so I didn’t join. And then when I found out that it was open to all fandoms, I felt really stupid and I vowed to join this year. So I did!
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PRISMATIC: A Pristin Rock God AU
Aug. 2nd, 2021 10:38 pm//drug use, several blood mentions from minor injuries
It’s the early Seventies, a time to be alive. Young people moonlight at political leaders. The world is in turmoil. Things are changing, and college kids are trying to kill god. Who do they worship instead?
Rock stars are gods among men. They aren’t like the old men in white robes like the deities in legends of old. They aren’t unsullied, dying for sins. They are sin incarnate. Human flaws are multiplied and amplified within them and reverberate out of their stadium-crushing speakers.
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I don’t know how I wanna write these, so this is stream of conscious babeyyy!!
This was the fic where I went “oh, i actually love writing.” Like, everything before this one feels like a bit of a practice round. It’s definitely where I found my niche. I think this was also the one where I posted it and thought to myself, “Yeah. I can call myself a writer now.”