Caffeine is a food group:

I hear the clock, it's six a.m.
I feel so far from where I've been
I got my eggs and my pancakes too
I got my maple syrup, everything but you

I break the yolks, make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off the mirror, don't leave the keys in the door
Never put my eggs on the floor anymore' cause

Dreams last for so long
even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for Hugh

I called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a plate of eggs but it didn't wanna talk
So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news
More eggs being broken or people being used

Put on my eggs in the pouring rain
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy and I was sad
It made me miss eggs oh so bad 'cause

Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for Hugh

I go about my business, I'm doin fine
Besides what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Eggs are broken everyday

I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the eggs on
I pick a book up, turn the sheets down
Take a deep breath and a good look around

Put on my eggs and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight 'cause

Dreams last for so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon I know you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for Hugh

Yeah...

You were meant for me and I was meant for...

Hugh

Once again, it's the time of year to share Yom Kippur-themed bento creations:

New rule: Drink every time there's dykes.

For instance, if they play a request and dedication, from Cynthia to Annie*, in Jamaica Plain**, and it's a bowm bowm sex song, such as YOU ARE MY LAYDEE, chug an entire bottle of whiskey, cut your hair into a mullet, and make out with the nearest chick.

*For the less familiar, those are top-tier dyke names. See also Deb(bie), Denise, eeka, Eve, Janet, Marsha, Melissa. As well as their counterparts, Adam, Bruce, Daniel, Dennis, Drew, Gary, Lance, Marcus, Steven.
**Land of dykes, dogs, and drums.

[See the evolution of our fun-filled hobby here.]

Drink every time one of the following happens:

1. They play a Phil Collins song
2. You hear a lyric that's filthy, but requires being post-pubescent to realize it
3. They play a dude/chick duet
4. They play a commercial that sounds really dirty (free pork samples, etc.)
5. Said commercial tagline is reiterated by the phonesex-voiced announcer
6. They play a public service announcement
7. They play a commercial for a dating service
8. They play a song by Luther Vandross, Barry White, Marvin Gaye, or anyone you assume must be one of these guys
9. They play a ballad and you can't immediately tell if the singer is a dude or a chick
10. Sappy idolotrous breathy-voiced chick ballad (Mariah Carey etc.)
11. Elton John
12. The song is a request and dedication
12a. Drink again if the requester and/or dedicator lives in Revere, Lynn, Waltham, or Everett
13. They have some contest where you're supposed to call when you hear a certain song
13a. Drink again if they tell you to write down the title of the song
14. Any song by UB40. If they play a UB40 song that's not a cover, finish the entire bottle, then break it.
15. Any song modulates up a half step
16. '70s (or early '80s) song that involves a whole freakin' orchestra (e.g. Chicago)
17. Love themes from bad movies
18. Gratuitous saxophone
19. Drink twice if they play a song you would listen to non-ironically (as in, a song you'd put on because it's a really good song, not because you're looking to listen to '80s music or sappy music or anything like that).
20. If you drink for a song and it turns out to be a promo, commercial, station ID intro, etc., drink again.
21. If the general group consensus is that someone knows entirely more words to a particular song than anyone ought to, the person to that person's left takes a drink.
22. If something is caught in your throat, you can drink.

Note: If, for some terrible reason, they don't play Piano Man at 9:00 on Saturday, finish the bottle, immediately seek out some heroin, get totally messed up, and smash your radio.

[click for previous versions]

Directions:

Turn on Magic 106.7 (Boston's continuous soft rock) right before 9:00 on Saturday evening. The game starts when they play Piano Man (...it's 9:00 on a Saturday...). Take one drink when it starts, laugh like an idiot when the harmonica riff kicks in, then drink once more.

Drink every time one of the following happens:

1. They play a Phil Collins song
2. You hear a lyric that's filthy, but requires being post-pubescent to realize it
3. They play a dude/chick duet
4. They play a commercial that sounds really dirty (free pork samples, etc.)
5. Said commercial tagline is reiterated by the phonesex-voiced announcer
6. They play a public service announcement
7. They play a commercial for a dating service
8. They play a song by Luther Vandross, Barry White, or anyone you assume must be one of these guys
9. They play a ballad and you can't immediately tell if the singer is a dude or a chick
10. Sappy idolotrous breathy-voiced chick ballad (Mariah Carey etc.)
11. Elton John
12. The song is a request and dedication
12a. Drink again if the requester and/or dedicator lives in Revere, Lynn, Waltham, or Everett
13. They have some contest where you're supposed to call when you hear a certain song
13a. Drink again if they tell you to write down the title of the song
14. Any song by UB40. If they play a UB40 song that's not a cover, finish the entire bottle, then break it.
15. Any song modulates up a half step
16. '70s (or early '80s) song that involves a whole freakin' orchestra (e.g. Chicago)
17. Love themes from bad movies
18. Saxophone.

Note: If, for some terrible reason, they don't play Piano Man at 9:00 on Saturday, finish the bottle, immediately seek out some heroin, get totally messed up, and smash your radio.

(Version 1.0B here)

http://www.facebook.com/pages/pant…

I had this dream where a truck drove by that said ROFLFAIL. Then I woke up.

The fuck?

Beta v 1.0 -- I'm still adding to it

Directions:

Turn on Magic 106.7 (Boston's continuous soft rock) right before 9:00 on Saturday evening. The game starts when they play Piano Man (...it's 9:00 on a Saturday...), thinking they're funny.

Drink every time one of the following happens:

1. They play a Phil Collins song
2. You hear a lyric that's filthy, but requires being post-pubescent to realize it
3. They play a dude/chick duet
4. They play a commercial that sounds really dirty (free pork samples, etc.)
5. Said commercial tagline is reiterated by the phonesex-voiced announcer
6. They play a public service announcement
7. They play a commercial for a dating service
8. They play a song by Luther Vandross, Barry White, or anyone you assume must be one of these guys
9. They play a ballad and you can't immediately tell if the singer is a dude or a chick
10. Sappy idolotrous breathy-voiced chick ballad (Mariah Carey etc.)
11. Elton John

moar funny pictures