I must be ee-mo

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I am so emo because these mosquito bites are killing me. They are growing and taking over my arm until it is going to become one giant mosquito bite omfg whut?

Rihanna's SOS is so catchy but I don't like her so that makes me emo too. WTF. D:

lkjalksjdfkj3%@#%#$5jklsjfsljflkj

Translation: I have to pee really bad but all the bathrooms are taken.

lakjsklfjkl2$#$@$@%Jdklgjkldgjkldg$^$^#$%2kjlf

Translation: I need a plastic butter knife because Soapie hasn't updated PotC SN!style.

I must be ee-mo.

Dear diary,

Today, I went to the mall to get myself really tight shirts. I found a great dark purple one, extra-small, in the kid's section. Then, I went to the food floor and I cried over the hamburgers and hotdogs because all I could see were like...the dead spirits of the painfully innocent animals they used to be. After smudging my mascara, I went to get a fortune cookie and sobbed when I saw a dumpling.

;~; ::sobsobsob:: ;~;

I smashed the fortune cookie open like the unbearable pressure of this falsely pretty world. I flicked the crumbled pieces away because even though my pants would be tighter if I gained a bit more weight, it's so much more emo not to eat this world's subtle poisons. My fortune cookie said that...like..."a storm is ahead". These words..they like...enter my soul so deeply. Words are incredible. I was so profoundly touched, like so deep....so so deep, you know. Almost like when Ohno fucks me real deep and I feel like the connection might be too much to bare anymore. Anyway, that kind of deep. And it moved me so painfully so that I decided to write words all over my walls with this DARK red lipstick. Like...the words that I'm writing right now are making me cry. CRY. CRY IS SUCH A SOBBINGLY BEAUTIFUL WORD.

I want to go in my corner and scratch Ohno's name with my black polished nails.

Dear diary,

He wrote me a song. All for me.

--
the questions are twirling in my head
like a hurricane of darkness invading my bed
the emptiness grows inside me
suffocating this putrid empty shell that I’ve become

sobbin’ in the shadows
cuddled in my corner
rockin back and forth
back and forth
back and fooooooooorth

the plasticity of this knife
burns against my skin and brings me bittersweet deliverance
the cruel laughters of the non-emo-people-who-look-down-upon-us-and-think-we’re-all-hopeless-stupid-shits…….IS STABBING MY DEMENTED SOUL~

Can’t anyone hear my silent scream?
Can’t anyone see me fall in this BLACK abyss?
Can’t anyone catch me and hold me….?

sobbin’ in the shadows
cuddled in my corner
rockin back and forth
back and forth
back and……silent ending
--

I can't believe it. That something so beautiful and pure is dedicated to me. A dirty, filthy shell of what people think I am. The fact that he dedicated it and sang it to me burns more then the heat of a thousand sun burns all in the same spot. What have I ever done to deserve such a kind and caring soul? He must be blind. He can't see the true monster of doom that lies beneath this pale, jaded soul.

I hope I won't taint him with my ugliness. I... I have to sit in the tub of freezing cold water till my lips to blue to remind myself of how I don't deserve to ever see the daylight ever again.

Dear Diary,

Like..I know my life isn't interesting, but since I have nothing to do, I might as well rant. ::sobsob::
I feel so deeply for this one special guy, I would carve my heart out with a plastic knife just for him. Not being able to see him is suffocating the air out of my punctured lungs. He wrote me a beautiful poem:

" Baby, my grumpy pea. You make me feel like I could stab myself a thousand times in the same spot just for you. Baby, my grumpy pea. I'd drink the most vile poison if it would make your eyes deep and smoky like Rimmel Extra-Lengthening Mascara. Baby, my grumpy pea. I scrap my wrist with this butter knife in memory of your DARK DARK love. "

I feel like he's too good for me and it's eating my soul. I feel so deeply for him, not even my black nails can compare to the dark pain it causes inside.

.....My heart is weeping black tears of blood.

Dear diary,

I wanted to get those awesome long shaggy haircuts with the bangs that cover my eyes. But the stylist wouldn't let me. No one understands me! They don't know the agony I have to face everyday when I wake up and realize my life is a spiralling abyss of darkness. There is no one who wants to talk to me and know the true me. The wounded soul of a tragic artist who is just trying to survive in this horrible, dark world. I wish Jun was here to hold me. But I'm too jaded and tainted to be held by anyone.

I need to go lie down in my corner and wallow in my pain.

Dear diary,

After getting my hair all flippy and cool, I couldn't stop thinking about how much my life is just like..this big dark hole of emptiness. I got my nail polish all chipped and sexy like those other ee-mo kids because I kept worrying about this life, this black abyss of darkness that's suffocating me. I wish I had my plastic knife right now. I feel like...totally numb and like...pain is the only thing that makes me feel totally alive, you know. My pants are fucking tight. I want to go out and like, flip my hair and kiss a boy because that's what we do. I want to kiss Ohno, but like...I'm afraid he doesn't really want to kiss me. Am I too tall to be emo?

....

I will go buy some more mascara.