what if a baby

when u have the correct number of cinderblocks in ur enclosure

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be a part of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

I know meburgers are something of a joke and also kind of gross to think about, but when I read the last chapter of the book and Grace says "I love meburgers. I have one every day," I did cry a little. Because after all the trials and tribulations of Tau Ceti and the trip to Erid, he has something he likes to eat! It's weird and outside human norms and probably would have freaked him out back on Earth but we are well past there being any point in denying practical solutions or simple pleasures. He was worried about starving to death, first alone in a spaceship and then on a planet where the food would kill him faster than the lack of it. And even after the Eridians could reliably make him things that would keep him alive, it was a while before any of it tasted good (even bearing in mind how much his standards for something "tasting good" must have gone down). But now he loves meburgers. He has one every day.

woke up after 16 hours to dress up a rock instead of doing literally anything else

you can’t leave me alone with Eva Stratt because I’ll just start committing her to the stars and whatnot

the thing about State Parks is they range from Pleasant Nothingburger #52 to The Tightest Shit You Ever Saw That Nobody's Heard Of