different faces, different names, different personalities, or at least that’s what they want you to believe. somehow, they all end up being the same person underneath it all. they come into your life pretending to be kind, genuine, rare, different from everyone who hurt you before, and for a while, you believe them. then, eventually, the mask slips, their true colors show, and you realize you’ve been reading the same story with a different cover.

i’m tired of people pretending to be different only to disappoint me in the exact same ways. tired of meeting “good” people and discovering the same ugliness underneath. different faces, same patterns. different bodies, same soul. i’m so damn tired of learning the same lesson from different people.

“In English, we say, I can’t stop thinking about you. In poetry, we say, I know we’ve only just met, and I don’t mean to move too fast, but I couldn’t sleep last night because I don’t know your middle name or how you take your coffee. And for some reason, there is nothing in the world that I would like to know more except maybe how your hair looks when it’s messy in the morning, or what makes you laugh until you cry, or what makes you laugh when you’re crying, either or both, or all of those facts would be fine. And I know we only just met, and I don’t mean to move too fast, but I couldn’t focus this morning because I need to know your preference in takeout food and the dreams you’d never say out loud, but secretly wish to come true. And if I were to buy you flowers, would you want them to be blue? And I know we only just met, and I don’t mean to move too fast, but suddenly your voice is in my head playing on repeat, and I’ll probably never say any of this, and I should probably get some sleep. It’s just that suddenly everything that’s significant to you is significant to me.”

— Whitney Hanson

i was feeling so tired and a little lost at work today, just trying to get through the day when my favorite customer came up to me, hugged me, and told me she appreciated all the hard work i’ve been doing. and honestly, she has no idea how much i needed that. it’s strange how a small act of kindness can find you at exactly the right moment. i had been feeling so drained, and somehow that one hug made the whole day feel a little softer.

she probably went home without thinking much of it, but i’ll remember it. sometimes you don’t need a big thing to make your day better. sometimes you just need one person to notice that you’re trying. she really did make my day. 🤍

i don’t need anything extraordinary from you. just tell me your favorite songs, the books you could read a hundred times, the movies and shows you never get tired of, the food that always makes you happy. tell me about your day, even the boring little parts. send me pictures of things that make you think of me, and let me know the smallest thoughts that cross your mind.

i don’t need grand gestures or perfect moments. just let me know you. let me into the little corners of your world. let me be a small, gentle part of your life— and I’ll treasure every little piece of you that you choose to share with me.

i keep finding pieces of you in everything beautiful.

i wonder what would happen if i stopped being afraid and simply told you:

“it’s always been you.”

i don’t think you understand how comforting your existence is to me. just knowing you’re somewhere in this world makes it feel a little softer.

i hope one day you realize that somewhere in this world, there was a person who quietly wished you well, remembered the smallest things about you, and loved you from a distance without asking for anything in return.

Cursed in Love.