and it rips my life away

alright the new journal is geeky_chic_58 if anyone's interested.

mmk so here's the deal...i'm gonna start a new journal. no idea what the name is yet but when i figure it out, i'll post it on this one and y'all can friend it if you want. *shrugs* just felt it was time for a change

i love doing no call, no shows. tee hee....i just really don't care anymore anyway. i leave in a month...i'm not worried at all.

lindsey's down here b/c her husband's graduating basic....man it's good to see her and talk to her. it feels like we never stopped talking at all...i love it. and her husband is so cute...we were making him laugh today at his little ceremony. and then i pinched his cheeks...and made him turn red. *giggles*

but we're going to a spurs game tomorrow...i can't fucking wait!!!!!!! she asked me and i looked at her like she was stupid or something. bryan can't go which sucks...but oh well. i told him i was still going.

as for halloween...if i'm not taking the boys out...then me and bryan are watching scary movies and handing the candy out. b/c damn it...i'm not throwing in teh towel this year!! i refuse! lol.

need to apply apply apply to colleges up in MA but i'm going to put down my mom's address instead of ours b/c we're moving. so i need to get her addy before i continue...is it sad that i dont' know my mom's address??? *shrugs* meh.

alrighty so i'm really bad at posting in this, it's cool. i understand...myself. how would i put that? lol. anyway! so we got our humanitarian back up to hanscom. we'll be gone before christmas. i'm excited to go b/c i'm going home and i mean i still have friends in that area...but on the other hand it's going to suck leaving the friends that i have here. *sighs* but i know i need to go home and get the hell out of dodge....so i'm going to go with be happy. lol.

bryan's apparently being investigated by the navy for breaking phase (read: we go out after he musters which is a no no). he was helping me study last night ( he really was!!) and an officer called on his roomies phone and said he had 5 seconds to get his ass back to his dorm. well i think he took 5 minutes but you know, whatever. so someone sold him out and told someone that he was leaving or something. but he told them that he had to get his sling for his arm and that was the only time that he was able to get it. so we're hoping that not too much will happen. i guess he was about to rank up but now that might be taken from him......along with a months pay. ouchies. so he's playing by the rules now...thank God. *sigh* but anyways!!! lol.

halloween is coming up fast...do i have plans? nope. do i know what i'm going to be? nope. mom said she thinks i'd be a good cruella deville. gee thanks mom *eye roll* lol. but maybe i'll do that...i dunno yet. trying to save money at this time b/c my last paycheck was shit...and this one wont' be much better. and then someone realized 'hey nicole doens't really have any hours. is this our fault?' uuuhhh yes dumbasses, it is! so i'm hoping that gets fixed. had an interview at CVS but i dont' think i'm gonna get the job...not surprised. oh well.

applied at bridgewater and my transcripts are getting sent over there. i put in to live on campus. b/c i figure hey, if i can, it'd be fun and i'd the real college experience. plus then i'd like going home. lol. and if not...hey at least i can still go to school there. lol. so yup, hoping that i get in. but i'm going to apply to some community colleges as well.

midterms are here. god help me. i'm failing my science class (again). but i seriously studied last night and the test seemed pretty easy so i'm hoping that i passed it. and i dont' care what grade i get in that damn class as long as it's not an F. i just wanna pass it for Christ's sake. my history class is special. instead of regular tests, he has us write papers and do id's. so that's do on friday. have most of the id's done but the problem is that i missed a few classes so i don't have all the notes so i'm gonna have to go look some stuff up online. french exam....*shrugs* whatever. i know that it's bad to take that attitude with it...but oops. tee hee.

lindsey dickenson comes in next week. her husband is air force basic and he's graduating i guess. so she's staying with me for a few days and then getting a hotel. i'm glad she's coming in...it'd be good to see her. coleman told me last night that i worry too much now. that i used to this badass chick that just didnt' care and now i'm more of a girly girl. i'm saying that i'm growing up. plus, if you really know me...i've always been like that. just not around the guys. as much as it sucked to hear him say that....it felt good to know that i'm growing up. finally. lol

yuck. head colds suck. boooooooooo.

looking for a better job. if anyone knows of one that i can get hired at almost immediatly....talk to me. b/c i'll just walk off blockbuster. oh yes i will. *grins*

bryan got in trouble with the navy. he has a morning watch and he was told not to go since he screwed up his shoulder when we went to medina lake. so he went to the ER and shit like that. well he crashed here last night (which happens all the gd time lol) and i left for school and he was passed out on teh couch. well apparently he got in trouble b/c no one remembers talking to him and telling him it was alright for him to miss his watch. so now he's back to phase 1. *sigh* can't go off base during the week, back by 9:45 on teh weekends. well it's only for two weeks so i guess it's alright.

my neck is like killing me. ouchies.

hhmmm...i'm getting used to this new lj thing....mucho better than crackass facebook though. that thing is just creepy...i think i like this though. *shrugs*

so saturday me and bryan are going to see the sneak preview of "the gaurdian" b/c i think it looks good. so boo to whoever *cough david cough* think i'm loser for wanting to see it. lol. if anyone else wants to go, it's at 7 at AMC. i'm getting my tickets probably today online. =)

and anyone else remember when i came back from FL and said i was nervous about just jumping back into school??? yeah i was so right. i'm so not used to it. so i'm putting my foot down. starting on monday i'm going to every god damn class that i have until i'm literally sick or something else extreme. i have to go, i have to raise the GPA. adn it's not like my classes are hard either b/c they're not. it's just i'm not used to it anymore. *le sigh*

tomorrow me and bryan are taking the boys to a park so pat can try and clean some of the house so maybe one day bryan can actually come over and we won't have to try and plan out multitude of things to do every weekend...b/c we're running out of ideas. lol. so yup. not much else shakin over here. got paid today and went to put it in my glovebox...and found my hollywood paycheck that i haven't deposited yet. so yay for found money!!! lol.

so i'm going to gush for a little bit.....tee hee =)

i've been with the crazy navy kid...other wise known as bryan, for a week now. and everything in my body is telling me i'm insane but i love him. *shrugs* i keep telling myself that it's too soon and blah blah blah but it's like i can't help it. so here i am...feeling kinda stupid. but then i talked to kate and we decided that it's ok for me to feel like this and we're going to launch our SS Radcore Cool Kid ship soon anyway. lol. but there's a navy ball on teh 13th of october and we're going to that (yay...another reason for me to wear my three old prom dress!!! lol). and we've been talking about what's gonna happen come december when we both leave...and so far we haven't come up with anything yet. lol. he told me that i should go with him overseas and see the world with him. i told him i'd love to but i have to finish school....so yup. but we've been talking a lot about shit like that lately...we're a lot a like me and him are. and as corny as this sounds..i really think God like wanted me and him to meet or osmething. b/c the night before the plane took off, i almost didn't get on it. i was crying my eyes out b/c i didn't want to come back. hell i almost didn't go up to MA in the first place! and he almost didn't decide to do his thing with the navy, he was going to stay at the school he was at so he could become a Seal. but he ended up at the airport....randomly going to SA. i'm just like looking at the sky going "Ok God!! I get it....we were supposed to meet!!! Thank you!!" lol. at least that's how we're thinking it anyway. *shrugs* but i love him. and he said that he likes my friends that he met so far...hopefully y'all think he's ok. =/

oh adn i'm taking a break from studying. b/c i'm supposed to be in my french class right now...but they were talking about a study abroad fair or whatever so i decided not to go. so i'm reading my stupid science book (let me tell you how much i don't care about what happens to stars when they die and black holes and red giants and shit like that alright?? b/c i really could care less!!) and then i decided to try and write some of my history paper. we have to write a response paper and i got some of it done...but now i'm at a roadblock. so bryan's going to help me. he just doesn't know it yet. =D he gets the cd i made him if he helps me. sounds fair to me. mmmhm!!!

my boyfriend's the shit. and he makes me mucho happy. not like darrin either.....*sigh* bryan just makes me.....happy. simply put. but anyway...=D

so blockbuster has this habit of keeping me later than i'm supposed to work there...but it's alright. i get paid on friday and working later than i'm supposed to...will add up nicely. so yup yup. ALL AMERICAN REJECTS on the saturday after thanksgiving...guess who pissed her pants?? *points at self* that's right folks, that'd be me. and me and bryan are soooo dead set on going. so hopefully we'll still be able to get the tickets b/c that would just rock my world like no tomorrow. oh yes oh yes. and he's going to church with me tomorrow (which i think is sweet) and then we're trying to go play laser tag...oh boy. i haven't done that since i was in teh youth group but i love doing it, it's so fun. *shrugs* asked mom to help me with some book money for school and she did. i love my mommy. i wish she was here right now...but apparently we're not supposed to be in the same state together anymore.

i kinda feel bad b/c i'm out a lot now instead of home with bryan and work and school and stuff....so i feel bad b/c i feel like i'm not helping out with the boys at all. but on the other hand, i do have to have a life you know?? *shrugs* meh

OH AND DEGRASSI STARTS AT THE END OF THIS MONTH. WE GET IT FIRST BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!! and i swear to god everytime i see some palex action, i have the lesbian longing. lmfao. as for the new opening...little too much like a soap opera but it's alright. mike is looking fiiiiine....and he takes off his hat so it's that much better. deanna is gorgeous with long hair....oh yes. I CAN NOT FUCKING WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so start expecting the degrassi posts again soon y'all! yay!

mmk so me and darrin...what the fuck ever. my new favorite saying is he can fuck a tree. it just makes me smile when i say it. tee hee. that....and someone needs to inform the boy he's not the white version of rico suave. *grins*

but i did manage to pick up a navy boy at the airport. we locked eyes and started talking. when i got off the plane i gave him my name and number. he's a navy boy (oooh!!!) and in basic at lackland of all places. he called me today and we're hannging out tomorrow. and yes i shrieked a little bit when he called me. he's cute y'all!!!!! lol.

started at block today...it was fun!! lol. they had me and this guy jacob on the floor almost all night so it didn't really get messed up and i learned that store pretty damn well. but everyone is really cool. and me and this girl amber have this plan for halloween if we're working that we're going to dress up like napoleon dynomite and have a dance off using the dance from the end of the movie. lol. it was funny, sergio (our boss who is cool as shit too) bought us pizza at like 11 and we're stangind there eating and amber starts talking about her best friend and how she's so different b/c she looks punk and shit. i told her she looks punk and she was surprised. so i go "what...are you a country girl at heart??" and she busted up laughing and goes "did the spurs on my shoes give it away?? i ride my horse to work you know!" and so many other things but we were lauging so hard. haha. so i like it there. BUT I MISS YOU MANDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pouts* call me when/if iggy and y'all do something this weekend. i feel like we haven't hung out as a group in a while...it makes me cry phillip emo tears. yeah i said it,what!!! heehee

ugh. i can't wait for school to start...and til i can get out of here. seriously. so i'm on myspace today and looking through my friends and what not and i click on matt's profile. you know how some people read through the comments?? well i was doing that and crystal left him some. now i'm sorry, i like crystal, really i do. but i just couldn't stand it. so i left and went to the gym for a hour. i found that when i'm angry or depressed or just kind of...blah....going to the gym is good for me. =) so yeah. i dunno. i mean i'm not gonna say i'm over matt. b/c i'll never be over him, he was my first love and many other things. and i'm glad he's happy, seriously i am. it just hurts. *shrugs*

darrin sent me a msg on myspace saying that his phone has shitty reception in MA so that's why he hasn't called me. and then he said thinking of you and miss talking to you loads. so yeah...i freaked a little and msg shauny immediately b/c i'm just that kind of person. so last night i msg'ed him back and said that it was cool but it wold have been nice to have known that tid bit o info earlier. and hopefully we'd talk before next tuesday (which is when i fly back to TX). i'm not letting my walls down though. not until i meet him and see where things go from there.

and now i'm annoyed b/c i really want to put "hands clean" by alanis morissette on my myspace profile but can't find the song!!!! i mean i have it dl'ed and shit but still. so yeah...if anyone knows anything about how i can do that...it'd be awesome!!!

-ps-emily!!! i so miss you!!! i was going through my phone book tonight to see who wanted to do dinner and a movie...and you weren't home!!!!!! *pouts* but it's alright, jackie and sam are coming. even though i wanted to see WTC and she said no....but it's alright. i can see it some other time