I can't believe it's almost September of 2024! sunshine304 helpfully reminded me that dreamwidth exists when we were chatting on a different platform, so I thought I'd log in again.

Of course, the first thing I did was bungle my friends list by accident, so my apologies if you see yourself getting added out of the blue again. I swear I used to be good at this sort of thing back when I was on LJ.

As for fandom, I have written a few MDZS fics over the past year and even did some podfic and podcasts with drpanda99 - all can be found on AO3 at dragongirlG. I made the executive decision to archive-lock all my work and moderate comments to manage weird spambot comments and prevent scraping of my text (to whatever extent that's possible). Recently, I applied a site skin so I can't see any stats, which has made browsing a lot more targeted and peaceful.

It's been pretty tough in real life and in fandom this past year, and I've spent a lot of time thinking on how to balance my needs with regards to both. While I'll always seek some measure of validation for my fics and other creative works, I've learned to stop chasing it, especially at the expense of my own mental health and my own principles. I'm trying to embrace a mindset where I focus on enjoying the process of writing, share my works for whoever might want to see them, and dip my toe into collaboration when opportunities arise - not just events like big bangs, but prompt games, ask games, casual idea exchanges - without putting pressure on myself to make something perfect.

I've also realized that it's okay for me to enjoy interaction with someone on one platform, but not another, due to the nature of the platform and whatever content might be on it. I don't know if that matches with current fandom culture, but that's the approach that's going to work best for me.

I posted my second MDZS RBB fic last week, the jianghu multiverse fic centered on Wei Wuxian! Featuring Chinese mythology, Chinese history (including Republican era Shanghai), diaspora life, and wangxian meeting through various lives.

江湖 | jianghu

He is a young man caught in the throes of war, digging up the dead and filling them with yin energy.

He is a swordsman roaming the land with Lan Wangji, chasing an infamous murderer with poison hidden in his pinky.

He is an exiled alchemist standing next to a lotus pond, waiting for Lan Wangji on the shore.

He is a shopkeeper in a narrow little alley, sharing Lan Wangji’s truths in a world full of lies.

He is a gangster assigned to collect debts, returning Lan Wangji’s violin in an act of righteous justice.

He is a child at a raucous party, extending a hand of friendship to the quiet boy at the table.

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Five times Wei Wuxian died in the jianghu, and one time he lived.

Or: An exploration of the term "jianghu" centered around Wei Wuxian's rebirths and deaths in various jianghu settings.

Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 25K
Relationship: Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian
Content Notes: Major character death, graphic depictions of violence, eventual happy ending, multiverse; heed additional tags

Full art piece in the last chapter

On AO3

Happy two-year birthday to my Lan Qiren character study, which explores his relationship with Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, and Lan Sizhui across time! This was originally written for Lan Qiren Week 2021, but I never posted about it here. The themes I used were Raising the Twin Jades (Chapter 1), the Cloud Recesses (Chapter 2), and Legacy (Chapter 3).

In the spirit of backing up fic to non-AO3 spaces, I've posted it in the cut tag below after the AO3 link. But first, a summary and some story info:

小兔子 | Little Bunny

Three times Lan Qiren repaired a rabbit doll named Little Bunny: once for seven-year-old Lan Zhan on the anniversary of his mother's death, once for teenage Lan Wangji after he returns to the rebuilt grounds of the Cloud Recesses, and once for A-Yuan after he's taken into the Lan clan.

Rating: Teen+
Word Count: 5.5K
Additional content tags: POV Lán Qǐrén, Love language: acts of service, Caring Lán Qǐrén, Character Study, Canon Universe, References to Canon, Implied/Referenced Character Death (canonical), Comatose Qingheng-jun, Minor Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending

On AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32069977/chapters/79445287

Or:
( below the cut )

This fic also has two associated podfics and a Spanish translation. Links below.

• 小兔子 | Conejito, translation by evirtual3


• [Podfic] 小兔子 | Little Bunny by deepestbluesky


• [Podfic] 小兔子 | Little Bunny by drpanda99

(Feel free to comment here or on AO3 if you enjoyed this story!)

傲雪寒梅 | Blossoms Amidst Winter Snow

There is a man who only comes down the mountain when it snows.

In a world where the Wens were just a little crueler, Lan Wangji returns from the Qishan Wen Indoctrination to find his entire clan dead—all except for his brother, who is returned to the Cloud Recesses comatose after the final battle against Wen Ruohan. Vowing to protect his brother and the remnants of their home, Lan Wangji secludes himself up on the mountain, only descending once a winter to gather supplies from Caiyi Town. There, he hears of Wei Wuxian’s death.

Thirteen years pass in the same fashion, until one day Lan Wangji runs into a masked man with a recalcitrant donkey and a red ribbon streaming from his hair. He calls himself Mo Xuanyu, but he acts like Wei Wuxian.

Rating: Mature

Word count: 10K

Content notes: graphic descriptions of corpses, canon-typical violence, heavy angst, fairy tale elements, wangxian get a happy ending

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So excited to share one of my MDZS Reverse Big Bang fics for this year! Gorgeous art from Serapheil, who I also worked with last year on my wangxian Shape of Water AU (impossible to stay away, impossible to stay). Fic and art posted on AO3.

Also, a fun title note! The title comes from the following Ming dynasty aphorism:

傲雪寒梅独自开，唯有伊人踏香来。
(Ào xuě hánméi dúzì kāi, wéi yǒu yīrén tà xiāng lái.)
懂得寒梅通彻骨，梅花香自苦寒来。
(Dǒngdé hánméi tōng chègǔ, méihuā xiāng zì kǔhán lái.)

My translation:

The plum blossoms flower proud amidst the snow; their fragrance wafts only to those present.
Through the harrowing chill the blossoms persist; from the bitter cold arises their sweet and subtle scent.

Might add some notes later on the translation in a separate post!

 

Since it's Valentine's Day, I thought I'd boost my translation of MDZS ch 100, in which Wei Wuxian confesses his love to Lan Wangji at Guanyin Temple! I initially posted this on tumblr a year ago. Full chapter at the translation website linked below. Here's a little preview!

Lan Wangji stared at him.

Wei Wuxian added, “You’re wonderful. I love you.”

At Lan Wangji’s silence, he continued, “Let me be clear. I adore you, cherish you, want you, cannot be without you; whatever you want to call it, that’s what I feel for you.”

Silence.

Wei Wuxian went on, “I want to night-hunt with you for my entire life.”

Still, he received nothing but silence.

Wei Wuxian held up three fingers: one to indicate the earth, one to indicate the heavens, and one to indicate his own heart. “Here’s another thing. I want to sleep with you every day. I promise that I’m not just teasing you like I did in the past, and I’m definitely not doing this out of gratitude. In short, there’s no other bullshit reason I’m saying all this.

"The truth is, I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you that now I want to sleep with you. I want nobody other than you. If it’s not you, it won’t do. You can do whatever you want to me, in whatever way you desire; as long as you’re willing to do it with me, I’ll like it…”

Read full chapter at the translation website: HERE
If you're tumblr-inclined, you can also follow translation updates at dragongirlgtl 

Thought I'd start cross-posting my poetry translations and recordings here! First up, a poem for Lunar New Year 2023. Feel free to comment if you wish!

Follow along with my recording here:
Translation below!

《己酉元旦》／南宋・陸游（繁）
New Year’s Day of the 46th Year
Southern Song dynasty, Lu You, traditional characters

夜雨解殘雪，朝陽開積陰，
The night rain washes away the lingering snow; the rising sun chases away the blanketing fog.

桃符呵筆寫，椒酒過花斟。
Spring couplets appear in the soft sigh of a brush; pepper-infused wine pours freely into a cup.

巷柳搖風早，街泥濺馬深。
In the lane, willows sway in the morning breeze; in the street, mud splashes as horses tread the earth deep.

行宮放朝賀，共識慕堯心。
Inside the palace the emperor receives bows of congratulations; unanimous admiration effuses for the wise sovereign’s aspirations.

( Translation notes under the cut )

Crossposted to tumblr and my translation website.

I know it's already 2023, but I didn't get a chance to do this on Dec 31, so here's some cool fannish things I did in 2022:

I went on the Fanfic Maverick Podcast (fanficmaverickpodcast) to discuss two of my CQL fics: 忍辱负重 | to bear the burden of humiliation, aka the CQL-based wangxian warprize whump AU which was in progress at the time, and Ghost Feathers, an AU set in a world where everyone has wings, which focuses on Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji searching for Wei Wuxian during the Sunshot Campaign. Link to the podcast episode here.

I modded the MXTX Diaspora May 2022 event, which features MXTX fanworks written by Chinese diaspora from various corners of the fandom. I also wrote a fic for it:

• 知往鉴今 | through the mirror of days past (E, 3K, CNTW with underage masturbation and no underage sex): Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian. Modern diaspora 'verse. Lan Zhan performs an original guqin piece at the Cloud Recesses summer camp talent show, then encounters Wei Ying in a qipao and desperately seeks relief for his body's urges.

I started setting up my own translation site on wordpress, even bought my own domain for it (dragongirlgtl). In case you missed it, it finally launched yesterday! dragongirlgtl.com 

Speaking of translations, I did a quite a bit in 2022! MDZS chapter translations, MDZS snippets, and some attempts at poetry below the cut.
( List of translations! )

I also did several multimedia fanworks and collabs in MDZS fandom. I primarily wrote fic and contributed a bit of podfic. I really find collaborating so rewarding and fun, it such a delight to create something with another person who shares the love for the characters and story.
( several fics under the cut! )

All in all, 2022 was a year of growth, and I'm proud of what I put out in the world. It's often easy for me to get caught in the weeds and not really feel like I've actually done anything, so seeing it laid out like this really heartens me! (It doesn't even include all my fics or translations, either!) Here's hoping 2023 will go smoothly and give me even more joy.

Always feel a tad odd posting multiple times in a day, but so it goes!

Fannish goals:

• re-translate MDZS from scratch on my shiny new translation website
• write those metas I promised from 2022
• indulge myself and finish those angsty and smutty MDZS/CQL WIPs, even the ones with unhappy endings
• engage mindfully with fandom in general (limited, curated social media time)
• get back into drawing fanart - who cares if it's shitty! it's for me
• maybe try to make a few podfics?

Other:

• consistently study Chinese vocab and poems
• read a cnovel outside of MDZS reading group - perhaps NIF?
• rebuild that muscle memory and technique on my musical instruments
• some kind of physical fitness on a regular basis, whether it's just doing my PT exercises 3x a week like I'm supposed to or getting outside for a walk
• stop getting so much takeout

The translation website is almost ready! I'm going to try to launch it this weekend, Jan 7-8. Right now I'm just adding a few poems and associated notes so I have *something* in the poetry section. I also need to write up a blurb on my old MDZS vs new MDZS translations and check to make sure language is consistent regarding the sharing policy on various pages.