dragondances, posts by tag: montana - LiveJournal

This has been such a strange year, on many levels. Trying to think through it almost boggles the mind, but for the sake of posterity and this long-neglected blog, I'm going to check my Google Calendar and try.

January included the holiday trip from my Gramma (over Christmas, Star Wars, and New Years), which was a ton of fun. We visited Bainbridge, had dinners at Aunt Roxy's, and as I said, saw The Force Awakens. I started my third quarter of my MLIS degree. I then flew down to LA for a visit of my own, which included staying with my friend Angelique, then staying at my old hotel for a few days. I visited the Vasquez Rocks while checking out my first real movie set with money behind it and everything. Then the reason for the whole thing was a Mooncrash D&D Reunion all-day session, where my PCs best friend had a dragon officiate his wedding, then we were all attacked by and finally vanquished a different dragon and long-term enemy. Oh, and somewhere in all this Timothy and I got officially engaged to be married!

In February, I did a whole lot of homework. Seriously; besides some meetups with my cohort (where we mostly complained about our homework), that's pretty much all I had on my Google Calendar.

In March, the quarter ended and we started our current D&D campaign: Seventeen Seas! It's a pirate-themed nautical campaign, DMed by my newly-minted fiancé. I started by playing a halfling warlock named Ovette, who was heavily pregnant by a strange sea-fey knight and had sometimes ill-controlled fey magic powers.

April saw the beginning of Spring Quarter, but the most exciting part of it was Emerald City Comiccon! We wandered around, I met Abby Howard and Seanan McGuire (and got a picture), and we tried cosplay for the first time! We're definitely going again next year. Less exciting but in some ways more of a sea change, I also switch positions at work. After almost five years working Front Desk and consistently turning down promotions, I became a supervisor - in Housekeeping!

May was another month of constant homework, when both my birthday and our anniversary passed with little notice. (Oops.)

June marked the end of my first year as an MLIS student! One of three, in the bag! I mostly worked, and recovered in glorious (relative) free time.

In July, Timothy went on a big trip to LA, leaving me alone in the apartment. I spent a lot of that time with Aunt Roxy, watching Shakespeare, celebrating Bastille Day, and hanging out. I also make the most drastic change to my hair yet, cutting the top short with a swoop to the side and having Timothy shave the sides and back. Every time I do something new, it involves less and less hair...

The beginning of August was when we took a wonderfully relaxing trip out to Minnesota to visit Timothy's parents and swim and relax on their lake. It was absolutely amazing to just relax, swim, play with Timothy's old bow and arrows, and not have any plans or responsibilities for a while before classes started. August also was when my PC Ovette died, dragged over the side of our pirate ship by a scary animate mound of seaweed. At the end of the next session we introduced her sorceress daughter: the half-water-fey Weed. Somehow transported from Ovette's belly months before her due date yet aged to appear as a seeming five-year-old, prone to bizarre physical and behavioral inconsistencies, and constantly dripping wet, Weed has been a fun (if complicated) character to portray.

September featured PAX, which we attended for a day (two, in Timothy's case), a visit from our friend Kate, and the beginning of Fall Quarter of my second year.

October was another homework-heavy month, as well as having Timothy be frequently gone. He's started DMing a D&D show on Geek & Sundry's Twitch channel, in addition to a trip home to MN for hunting. The pattern was quickly set of frequent (currently biweekly) trips down to LA or other parts of the country. I'm not complaining, actually; this quarter has been busy with three classes on my docket, and the extra studying time has come in handy.

In November... we had the election. The less said there the better, as those of us who are more afraid are still trying to come to terms with what this is going to mean over the next four years. I also finally got a good handle on what I want to do with my life! Academic librarianship is calling me. I want to work in a smaller college, where I can really interact with students and make a difference in information literacy, maybe even in an Outreach or First-Year Experience program. There's a lot of professional development stuff I need to get in order to prepare fully for this, but it's always helpful to have the dream in view. Hard to chart a course without a destination.

Now, it is December. It's about halfway through the month and my fourth quarter is finished. I've started dipping a toe into political activism, which I can only imagine will be increasingly important now. We've planned a trip to Montana over the holidays, which I'm very excited about! It's been years since I've properly visited home. I'm readjusting to the break, trying to recharge before next year. I don't know what it's going to look like exactly, and the political climate is scary. But I've got confidence in myself, Timothy, my program, and my ability to go forward.

Here's to another year! 365 more sunsets to be savored.

As my move out to California gets closer, it's starting to sink in that I'm leaving home again. Which is always an odd thought for me, honestly. Call me a homebody, but the Gallatin Valley is where I was born and raised, and something about the outline of the Bridgers in the northeast sky is intensely reassuring. When I was younger and went on trips to Seattle or Canada or France, even if we were just driving to Helena or Missoula, it was that familiar outline that told me when I was home again. I remember distinctly naming the peaks in elementary school, or riding into town in the car and blinking into the rising sun as it limned them in pink and gold, or watching the smoke column to the south when the wildfires got really bad, hoping it wouldn't burn any closer.

I love the mountains. And I've noticed that I'm not the only one. When I went to Concordia there were a lot of Montanans there, and the one thing we all agreed on was how much we missed that elevation. In Montana Club (yes, there really was such a thing) we used to joke about the guy who supposedly had to wallpaper his dorm room in pictures of them, just to make it through the four years. This post was inspired by a link to this video (which is excellent, by the way). Besides just being cool, it's filmed In Some Mountains. And after the comments to praise the performer came the inevitable questions of "Where was it filmed?". We all want to know if it was our mountains. The ones we know, the ones we love.

So it'll be strange to leave them again. Like my aunt, who's lived in Seattle for the past 20+ years, I can't imagine Bozeman ever not being a home to me. I don't imagine I can or will come back to live here permanently, but I'll always visit, and I'll always miss those familiar peaks. They sing a siren song that only people who've lived among them seem to hear, like the way the sea calls to the heart of an old, salt-crusted sailor.

Still, there's an immeasurable lift in my spirit when I see any mountains, or pictures or videos of mountains, or talk about them and remember hiking and skiing and driving and making art up there. And as part and parcel of the move to California, I've been promised proximity to mountains. They'll be different, obviously; I'll want time to see them and come to know them.

But I'm hoping that someday soon, they'll sing to me too.

I find that I rarely have days where I am unequivocally in a good mood most of the day and things all seem to go well. Yesterday, which serendipitously happened to be my birthday, was actually one of those days!

The night before, meyertimothyj was the first to tell me Happy Birthday when it hit midnight in the central time zone, and sent me an early birthday present! Being as he hasn't become rich and famous yet, he did something a little more interesting- I got included in one of his projects! So Haliqloros, commonly known as "Claws," joined the backdrop of a future novel. I thought it was really adorable, but the real surprise was when he revealed that Haliqloros has a sibling, a big bruiser named Big Benj. Not only did Timothy put *me* in a story- he went so far as to reference my little brother. I may have gotten a little teary at the gesture, reports vary, but it was definitely one of the most personal gifts I've ever received! I'm not really sure how late I stayed up after that, but it was definitively my birthday by the time I went to sleep.

I slept in until 9ish, then lazed around on the internet and talked to Timothy online for a while. Then I got up, greeted Grandmother and the animals, and got to work again in my room. Basically since I came home over a week ago I've been working on the project that is My Room. It's not a very big room, you see, and stuff has been piled in there since before I was born. For instance, I have my aunt's prom dress from high school in my closet. I kid you not.

So I've been working on getting the stuff Out, and making good progress. Around 1, my aunt called and we decided to go for lunch for my birthday, so I showered and stuff. I had discovered there's a Thai restaurant in town and wanted to try it out, so we went there.

The place was called Lemongrass Thai. Apparently there are others in town, but this one has actual Thai people using actual Thai recipes. There wasn't a whole lot of variety, but the guy serving us was very friendly and chatted with my grandmother and aunt and I. He had evidently traveled in Thailand, and the restaurant was a passion of his. We had a delicious meal (if a little bland- Gramma and Aunt Barb weren't too into spicy, to our loss) with really tasty Thai iced tea, and then right at the end he asked if we wanted dessert. I wasn't really sure if Aunt Barb would be up for that, but then he said that they make a ginger crème brulée, an invention of his, and I really couldn't say no. Apparently he had a friend of his figure out how to put ginger into the crème brulée, and it was one of the most fantastic things I've ever had. I usually tend not to like crème brulée because it's too bland apart from the burned part, but this made up for it and was delicious! Then when we were leaving he was talking to us and being very friendly. I'm going to try to convince my other aunt that we should go when she's in town; it's immediately become a place I'll recommend to people.

After lunch, we drove out to this really awesome antique store my aunt knows about. Wandering around was fun, and I got Gramma a hand-painted glass bell with a butterfly on it for a belated Mother's Day present. Then we went to the store to get pop for my party on Saturday (six different kinds- if people don't like at least one, they can go to hell and bring their own drinks). At the store was this fantastic-looking chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and candied strawberries, and it looked like the best thing ever, so Gramma got it for after dinner.

When we got home, I continued working in my room. Dinner was roasted beef heart and potatoes au gratin- very Montanan, in contrast with our exotic lunch. I also got Gramma to clean off the top shelf in my closet, which literally had nothing of mine on it and was covered with about an inch of dust. That's where Gramma's been keeping things she didn't have any other place for, hadn't touched for as long as I can remember, but still insists on keeping, so it's nice to have that all away from me! That finished out the closet, and I'm going to enjoy having it empty for a little while before I fill it up as I start to sort my books, which is the next step of the overall project.

Of course, right before bed I remembered that I had strawberry chocolate cake, so Gramma and I each had a piece. It's super rich, so one small piece each is *all* we had, but it was delicious! Now I've stayed up fairly late, and should probably go to bed. Yay for good days with family and interesting things and wonderful food!

I think I can say unequivocally that a lot has changed in my life in the past week!

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I've mentioned that I only applied to one grad school for next fall: The Monterey Institute, in California. This fall (and honestly, the past couple years) have been pretty stressful and have really tested my ability to bounce back and keep a positive mindset, so I haven't been looking forward to grad school with any particular anticipation. Schoolwork has been overly difficult, mindless, or irrelevant, and I've had a really hard time getting up the motivation to get anything done. Basically, I've been senior-slumping *hard*, in a long, drawn-out, rocky slide downwards.

This past fall I wasn't sure I wanted to do school anymore. I had no drive to apply, nothing sounded like a program I was interested in, and any good translation schools were in places like Tennessee and South Carolina. Not that I have anything against the Southeast in particular, but heat and bugs and green things and sunlight are all the things I hate about summer- why would I go where they're *more* prevalent? Anyway, I've spent the past four years putting up with a climate and town that I hate because of a school I like a lot, and I'm sick of it. So I refused. I broke down, and whined at my family, and basically decided that Monterey was the best school for translation in the country, so I'd apply there. And if I didn't get in, fuck it. I'd figure something out.

So when I got a letter today telling me I didn't get in... well, it seems like it's meant to be. I'm equal parts upset at the rejection (especially the speed of it; that's a bit of a slap in the face), terrified about what I'm going to do, and welcoming the openness. I'm going home. I'll hopefully get to ride some horses and get a job. Maybe in the fall I'll apply to more places again. But I'm realizing that my life has been so super-structured for as long as I can remember, every step of it theoretically preparing me for the next step, ad infinitum, and maybe now I can do what I want. Maybe that'll be school again, after I've had a few months of not worrying about it. Maybe I'll find a job that I love, and see where it takes me. I dunno. But I'm starting to feel hope (terror!) again, and that's certainly a start!

I've been feeling contemplative lately, although not much has been going on in my life. I was doing an assignment for my Archaeology class where someone was mentioned as having a Bachelor of Arts degree, and I literally stopped and stared for a moment. I realised that in just under three months, I will actually have one of those: a Bachelor of Arts in French and Classical Studies from Concordia College. It's a weird feeling. Seeing as my family is somewhat light on advanced education, it maybe seems like a bigger deal to me. Only two of my aunts have college degrees, and everyone else including my mother only graduated high school. For that matter, from what I've heard about their childhoods, my mom probably only *just* graduated from high school, lol.

I don't really know at this point what I'm going to be doing with it. I've applied to a grad school in Monterey Bay, California, and we'll see how that goes. It's supposed to be a really fantastic school, but might end up being prohibitively expensive. If I don't get in or can't afford it, I literally have no plans beyond going home for a while. But as reckless as that sounds, I'm actually looking forward to some time not to have to worry about education and my future... I find myself occasionally jealous of the freedom my mom always had throughout her life. She seems to have been less tied down, and did what she wanted. I'm hoping to be able to start up some horseback riding with Aunt Connie again when I go home, and maybe I can get more of the carefree spirit back myself.

My family, of course, is extremely excited. I occasionally get the feeling that Gramma's enjoying my "success" more than I do, but that's always been her way. There are already plans made to come out for graduation and to help me move home right on the 2nd of May. She's also made mention of a plan for a combination graduation/21st birthday party back home, to which she seems bent on inviting everyone I ever knew in my entire life. I'll hopefully be able to let her do her thing, and spend a good chunk of it with my friends.

For the moment, I'm reflecting back on my college experience, as it's beginning to wrap up. Some good times, for sure, and some very dark ones. I'm leaving with some very strong connections, who I hope will continue to stay in touch. (I want to go on record as the worst penpal/keeper-in-touch-person in existence. If I don't call you, it's not because I don't love you, I promise! I'm just hard to pin down sometimes.) There are definitely holes in the fabric of my college life where certain people don't fit anymore, and I'm sorry for that. I'm looking forward, though, and anticipating being in a country where the beautiful mountains surround me like a cradle, and where I know my old friends will still be waiting.

Last night I was stupid and was looking at the Aaron Sims Company concept art stuff. It's all gorgeously done digital work (I think it's all digital?) and they've done work for all kinds of movies: Constantine, I Am Legend, The Incredible Hulk, Prince Caspian, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy... But I ended up getting a weird dream. I'm pretty sure it's the stuff in the Creatures page that did it; some of the stuff there is pretty messed up. So now I'm awake at 5:30 in the morning, which is just obnoxious. I can't get back to sleep, because that dream freaked me out, and it's too hot to hide under my comforter. *sigh* This is why I never watch horror movies. I have absolutely no tolerance for them.

Bleh. Yesterday was sort of fun. Aunt Barb & Co went up to Uncle Dick's property near Whitehall for the weekend, and Gramma decided we should go just for the day. We don't go very often because our dog Mya and Uncle Dick's German Shepherd don't get along. Last time we tried to bring her, Mya had to go to the vet and get a few stitches in her leg. So we left Mya to amuse herself in the yard while we were gone, and we were back before sundown.

Uncle Dick's property is up in the mountains. Basically you drive just past Whitehall on the interstate, then turn off and climb up and down a mountain for a half hour. He and Uncle Larry played with power tools, Robert rode the four wheeler around for hours (they went out to find him the one time, after they thought he'd been gone too long), and we girls mostly sat around the campfire. I got a little knitting done, which was nice, and helped with lunch and dinner. I love cooking over a fire. Hell, I love fire. I did get to go on the four wheeler a couple times, but I only got to drive it once. I wasn't feeling very assertive, so whatever. Came back all dried out, sun/windburned, smelling of campfire, and pleasantly tired. On the way back we saw a giant rainbow... it was so pretty. We could see the entire thing, end to end, and it was really distinct.

The day before that was even better; I spent almost the entire day with Tyler. ^.^ We went out to Lindley Park after it got dark, which was fun. Apparently the park "closes" at 11pm? I'm not sure how they enforce this, and we just ignored it. *shrug* We weren't the only ones; there was another car there when we got there. We did see some flashlights that looked like people looking through the park, but we were in an obscure corner and just sat still until they went away.

I realize how much I love Montana when I look at the sky. Nature and the sky seem so much closer, more immediate, when you're right up in it the way you are here. It's an amazing feeling to just look up and lose yourself in the sweep of the clouds, or the black expanse of the night. I've never felt it the same way anywhere else.

Today is D&D again. I've got a group together here to try out 4.0 a bit. It's only our second session, and it should be our first with all members (if Chris doesn't get stuck on a mountain again). Maybe I'll try and get some more sleep before then. *yawn*

I've been home for just over 24 hours now. Most of my reactions can be split into two groups: Good Stuff, and Not-So-Good Stuff.

Good Stuff:
Airplane ride. I love flying, and this trip was particularly painless.
Seeing family. Gramma, Aunt Barb, and Robert were at the airport. I also saw Uncle Larry, Aunt Loretta, and Uncle Ed.
MOUNTAINS!!! I swear I squee every time I see the Bridgers. ^.^
Animals. I've missed the dog (she was overjoyed to see me) and the cats (who were slightly less impressed, but liked the petting).
Weather. Montana is a lot warmer than Minnesota (can't imagine why.../sarcasm) and the weather is beautiful.
Tyler. 'Nuff said.
Food that is not DS food. Also 'nuff said.
Ratatouille. Gramma and I watched that last night. It was fun.
Sleeping in my bed. It's probably almost twice as big as my dorm bed, and I had lots of pillows and blankets and it was extremely comfortable.
Waking up at 9, and going back to sleep for another hour.
Montana water. We're on well water, and it's really soft. Taking a shower this morning was heaven, and I could feel my skin and hair rejoicing when I got out.
Food that is not DS food. Again. Yeah, it's worth listing twice.
My home computer. Yay, icons!
The fact that it's after noon and I'm sitting at my computer, dressed in nothing but my old long comfortable robe (which I had left here)... and I'm HOME!


Not-So-Good Stuff:
Robert's taller than his mother now. Which means he's a lot taller than me. >.>
Sitting in Aunt Loretta's house for way too long while she and Gramma talk about our dead ancestors. (Aunt Loretta's older than Gramma; they had plenty to talk about. I was bored).
Tiger. My Aunt Barb's cat is living here again, and he's still the spoiled, bad-mannered little monster I remember.
Tyler. Not the having of him; the not having of him. Cause Gramma's a paranoid Nazi.
The House. I'm not entirely sure how I lived here for so many years... it's a complete mess. And I'm pretty sure Gramma's made it, if anything, worse since I've been gone. It's definitely not better.
Chores and Familial Obligations. I get the feeling Gramma intends to keep me busy with cleaning and family stuff and other such obligations, and I'm not going to have time to do what I want to do (which is mostly Tyler, but also I want to see all my friends and t00b teh intarwebs).

But, eh. The good outweighs the bad, and we'll see what happens. At the very least I'm finally home. That alone is doing wonders for me both physically and emotionally. And Aunt Roxy is coming home soon, which is going to be fun.