He never stood a chance, you know.
Incurable romantics never do.
Journal created:
on 24 April 2004 (#2941689)
Updated:
on 8 June 2011
Name:
α2-WL22787
Location:
Vacaville, California, United States
Website:
External Services:
My life as told by 
schiarire (She is my uncle):
When he was still but a beautiful young man with a penchant for red clothing, the archangel Gabriel appeared to Caleb. The divine messenger took a respectful knee and informed Caleb in a stately, resonant voice that although he was a virgin he would soon conceive the Son of God.
"But I'm not a girl," said Caleb. Caleb liked the archangel Gabriel already, because he clearly worked out. He even had rock-hard pecs.
"Oh, well," said the archangel Gabriel. "Sucks."
And Caleb was impregnated by a symbolic beam of light.
Today, the only child Caleb has given birth to isshati, who is probably not the Son of God because she is a girl. Occasionally Caleb worries that the archangel Gabriel lied to him, but on these occasions the archangel Gabriel tells him not to be such a fucking pussy, and also to Goddamn fetch the archangel Gabriel's fucking newspaper.
Caleb doesn't mind. He's found that blue is his color.
Facts about Caleb from Readers of This Journal
"[Caleb...] gets told that movies are being made by flocks of angels in his dreams at the moment of cinematic conception." --schiarire
"Caleb is the next Virgin Mary." --oneechan19
"Caleb is the reason weather exists." --parcae
"Caleb is trying to deal with his new life as a part-time record salesman and full-time animation director, because the forty hours a week afforded to normal people isn't enough for him. His next big production is going to be shown on the WB as the replacement for Tiny Toons in the afternoon slot, and he's managed to secure The Beatles' "Octopus' Garden" for the theme song." --bansidhe
"Caleb is a wonderful place to meet Jesus." --darthrami
"Caleb floureses when he is turned on." --
dramawwench
"Caleb's fourth-grade science class once did a project where everyone swabbed their mouth and put them in petri dishes. After three weeks, everyone else in the class had produced mold in their dishes. Caleb had produced "The Macho Man" Randy Savage." --thursdays_son
"Caleb is actually a hot lesbian super model. She can be found on next month's cover of Vogue, sucking Tom Welling's nipple. Because she can." --wickedtrue
"One word strikes fear into the heart of evildoers. This word is . . . Caleb." --misslucyjane
"Caleb once beat Chuck Norris at a game of Go Fish... and he lived to tell the tale." --bakbakbecky
"Caleb's battle cry is 'avast ye strawberry douches!'" --rot_crop
"The series Smallville is actually an adapted version of Caleb's life story. Because the show is not on cable, they had to replace all of the hot loft sex between Caleb and his hot sugar daddy with longing looks." --girl_wonder
Originally Caleb was cast as the part of Clark on Smallville, but when they showed the pilot on televisions, the screens exploded because of his sheer amazingness. They had to go with Tom Welling to insure that everyone could see entire episode. As is, Michael Rosenbaum has never gotten over the loss of the original lead, and makes his character more loveable than Tom Welling's Clark out of spite." --girl_wonder
"The secret to Caleb's good looks and silky smooth skin is his daily bath in vanilla-nut tea: he's antioxidant personified." --sit_goog_dog
"Caleb is a proper young man, and therefore, does not grow and tell." --angelaficionado
"Procrastination is just like masturbation: it's nice while it lasts but in the end you know you just fucked yourself."
The Wish list
Who's Friended Me?
Skins mood theme byhelcaxe
schiarire (She is my uncle):When he was still but a beautiful young man with a penchant for red clothing, the archangel Gabriel appeared to Caleb. The divine messenger took a respectful knee and informed Caleb in a stately, resonant voice that although he was a virgin he would soon conceive the Son of God.
"But I'm not a girl," said Caleb. Caleb liked the archangel Gabriel already, because he clearly worked out. He even had rock-hard pecs.
"Oh, well," said the archangel Gabriel. "Sucks."
And Caleb was impregnated by a symbolic beam of light.
Today, the only child Caleb has given birth to is
shati, who is probably not the Son of God because she is a girl. Occasionally Caleb worries that the archangel Gabriel lied to him, but on these occasions the archangel Gabriel tells him not to be such a fucking pussy, and also to Goddamn fetch the archangel Gabriel's fucking newspaper. Caleb doesn't mind. He's found that blue is his color.
Facts about Caleb from Readers of This Journal
"[Caleb...] gets told that movies are being made by flocks of angels in his dreams at the moment of cinematic conception." --
schiarire"Caleb is the next Virgin Mary." --
oneechan19"Caleb is the reason weather exists." --
parcae"Caleb is trying to deal with his new life as a part-time record salesman and full-time animation director, because the forty hours a week afforded to normal people isn't enough for him. His next big production is going to be shown on the WB as the replacement for Tiny Toons in the afternoon slot, and he's managed to secure The Beatles' "Octopus' Garden" for the theme song." --
bansidhe"Caleb is a wonderful place to meet Jesus." --
darthrami"Caleb floureses when he is turned on." --
dramawwench"Caleb's fourth-grade science class once did a project where everyone swabbed their mouth and put them in petri dishes. After three weeks, everyone else in the class had produced mold in their dishes. Caleb had produced "The Macho Man" Randy Savage." --
thursdays_son"Caleb is actually a hot lesbian super model. She can be found on next month's cover of Vogue, sucking Tom Welling's nipple. Because she can." --
wickedtrue"One word strikes fear into the heart of evildoers. This word is . . . Caleb." --
misslucyjane"Caleb once beat Chuck Norris at a game of Go Fish... and he lived to tell the tale." --
bakbakbecky"Caleb's battle cry is 'avast ye strawberry douches!'" --
rot_crop"The series Smallville is actually an adapted version of Caleb's life story. Because the show is not on cable, they had to replace all of the hot loft sex between Caleb and his hot sugar daddy with longing looks." --
girl_wonderOriginally Caleb was cast as the part of Clark on Smallville, but when they showed the pilot on televisions, the screens exploded because of his sheer amazingness. They had to go with Tom Welling to insure that everyone could see entire episode. As is, Michael Rosenbaum has never gotten over the loss of the original lead, and makes his character more loveable than Tom Welling's Clark out of spite." --
girl_wonder"The secret to Caleb's good looks and silky smooth skin is his daily bath in vanilla-nut tea: he's antioxidant personified." --
sit_goog_dog"Caleb is a proper young man, and therefore, does not grow and tell." --
angelaficionado| Inception; 2046; 28 Days Later; 300; 3:10 to Yuma (2007); Across the Universe; A Very Long Engagement; American Beauty; Angels in America; The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford; Atonement; The Aviator; Bad Education; Beetlejuice; Big Fish; Black Snake Moan; Boogie Nights; Boondock Saints; Brick; Brothers of the Head; Casino; Catch Me If You Can; Children of Men; Closer; Cloverfield; Confessions of a Dangerous Mind; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon; Dark City; The Dark Knight; Dawn of the Dead (2004); The Departed; Die Hard Series; Dog Day Afternoon; Dogma; Domino; Donnie Darko; Ed Wood; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; The Fall; Fargo; Fight Club; The Fountain; Funny Games (U.S.); Garden State; Goodfellas; Hard Candy; Harry Potter Series; I Heart Huckabees; Jackie Brown; Joyeux Noël; Juno; Kingdom of Heaven (Director's Cut); Kiss Kiss Bang Bang; Knocked Up; Leon: The Professional; Little Mermaid; Magnolia; Marie Antoinette; Match Point; Mean Girls; Millions; Moulin Rouge; Mulholland Drive; Munich; No Country for Old Men; O Brother, Where Art Thou?; Pan's Labyrinth; Panic Room; Perfume: The Story of a Murderer; The Pianist; Pirates of the Carribbean Trilogy; The Prestige; Pulp Fiction; Punch-Drunk Love; Requiem for a Dream; RocknRolla; The Royal Tenenbaums; Schindler's List; Scoop; Serenity; Seven; Sicko; Snatch; Sunshine; Superbad; Tae Guk Gi; There Will Be Blood; Thumbsucker; Traffic; Transformers; Vanilla Sky; Walk on Water; X-Men; Y Tu Mama Tambien; Watchmen; Zodiac; | White Collar; 30 Rock; Alias; Angel; Aquateen Hunger Force; Arrested Development; Band of Brothers; Battlestar Galactica; Best Week Ever; Big Love; Black Books; Buffy; Burn Notice; Carnivale; Coupling (UK); Cowboy Bebop; Daily Show; Damages; Dark Angel; Dead Like Me; Dexter; Dollhouse; Entourage; Evangelion; Family Guy; Firefly; Freaks and Geeks; Friday Night Lights; Friends; Gargoyles; Generation Kill; Gossip Girl; Greek; Grey's Anatomy; Heroes; How I Met Your Mother; House; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia; Kings; Kitchen Confidential; Kyle XY; Law and Order: Special Victims Unit; Lost; Nip/Tuck; The O.C.; The Office (US); Prison Break; Pushing Daisies; Queer as Folk (US); Reaper; Scrubs; Six Feet Under; Skins; Smallville; Sopranos; Sports Night; Supernatural; Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles; Twin Peaks; Undeclared; Veronica Mars; Weeds; Wonderfalls; |
| Vampire Weekend; Aaliyah; Aimee Mann; Alexi Murdoch; Angelo Badalamenti; Architecture in Helsinki; Belle & Sebastian; Ben Lee; Cake; Carla Bruni; City and Colour; Clint mansell; Coldplay; Counting Crows; Cranberries; Damien Rice; Dane Cook; Daniel Tosh; Danny Elfman; Dashboard Confessional; David Gray; Death Cab For Cutie; The Decemberists; Destroyer; DeVotchKa; E.S. Posthumus; Eisley; Fall Out Boy; Feist; The Feverfew; Final Fantasy; Fleetwood Mac; Franz Ferdinand; Garbage; Goo Goo Dolls; Hans Zimmer; Hellogoodbye; Her Space Holiday; High Speed Scene; Home; Iron & Wine; Jack Johnson; Jack's Mannequin; James Blunt; Jeff Buckley; Joe Purdy; John Mayer; John Vanderslice; John Willams; Jon Brion; Joseph Arthur; Josh Ritter; The Killers; Kronos Quartet; Lifehouse; Massive Attack; Metric; Michael Giacchino; Mighty Six Ninety; Modest Mouse; Muse; The National; New Order; The New Pornographers; OK Go; Owen Pallett; Panda & Angel; The Pierces; The Postal Service; Queen; R.E.M.; Recoil; Regina Spektor; Rilo Kiley; Rolling Stones; Rooney; Ryan Adams; She & Him; The Shins; Sigur Rós; Sixpence None The Richer; Snow Patrol; Something Corporate; Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin; Spoon; Stars; Stephen Lynch; Sufjan Stevens; Sunset Rubdown; Swan Lake; Tegan & Sara; Thomas Newman; TLC; Tori Amos; Train; Two Shots for Poe; Vangelis; VAST; The Verve; Voltaire; Voxtrot; Wolf Parade; | A Single Man; Alex Cross Series; America (the Book); American Gods; American Psycho; Anansi Boys; Black Dahlia; Bridget Jones; Chronicles of Narnia; Coraline; Corfu; Death of an Ordinary Man; Dispatches from the Edge; Fight Club; Get Shorty; Glamorama; Glamorous Disasters; Good Omens; The Graveyard Book; The Great Gatsby; Harry Potter Series; A Home At the End of the World; The Hours; House of Leaves; House of Sand and Fog; I, Lucifer; Invisible Monsters; The Lake House; Less Than Zero; Little Children; Lord of the Flies; Lunar Park; Mystic River; Out of Sight; A Place of Greater Safety; Red Dragon; Rules of Attraction; The Secret History; Survivor; When the Wind Blows; Women's Murder Club Series; Y: The Last Man Series; |
| Channing Tatum; Anderson Cooper; Brad Pitt; Chad Michael Murray; Charlie Hunnam; Chris Egan; Chris Evans; Chris Lowell; Chris Olivero; David Anders; Eddie Redmayne; Edward Norton; Eric Bana; Ewan McGregor; Gael Garcia Bernal; Gregory Smith; Hayden Christensen; Heath Ledger; Henry Cavil; Ian Somerhalder; Jake Gyllenhaal; James Marsden; Jamie Bamber; Jamie Bell; Jared Padalecki; Jason Behr; Jeffrey Donovan; Jensen Ackles; Jesse Spencer; Jonathan Rhys-Meyers; Justin Timberlake; Leonardo DiCaprio; Mark Wahlberg; Matt Dallas; Matt Damon; Matthew Fox; Michael Cera; Michael Pitt; Michael Rosenbaum; Mike Erwin; Mike Vogel; Mitch Hewer; Patrick Fugit; Russell Crowe; Ryan Carnes; Ryan Hansen; Sean Faris; Sebastian Stan; Stuart Townsend; Tom Welling; Tyler Hitlon; Wentworth Miller; Zac Efrom; Zach Braff; | Blake Lively; Alicia Silverstone; Alyson Hannigan; Amber Benson; Amy Acker; Caroline Dhavernas; Chandra Wilson; Charisma Carpenter; Ellen Muth; Ellen Pompeo; Emilie de Ravin; Emma Caulfield; Emma Thompson; Evangeline Lilly; Gina Torres; Grace Park; Jennifer Connelly; Jessica Alba; Jewel Staite; Julianne Moore; Katherine Heigel; Keira Knightly; Kristen Bell; Kristen Kreuk; Laura Harris; Lauren Ambrose; Maggie Grace; Mariska Hargitay; Melissa George; Meryl Streep; Mia Kirshner; Naomi Watts; Natalie Portman; Nicole Kidman; Rachel McAdams; Robin Tunney; Rose Byrne; Sandra Oh; Sarah Michelle Gellar; Scarlett Johansson; Summer Glau; Tina Fey; Tricia Helfer; Yunjim Kim; |
The Wish list
Who's Friended Me?
Skins mood theme by
helcaxe "lightsabers", 1926 bentley, abnormal rains of fish, accents, apple, being a freak, being a lazy bum, boys, cedric is so gay, chinese food, commentaries, computers, couches that eat you, dante, dead baby jokes, dead like me, dean/sam, death to time zones, dempsey motherfucker, directing, ewan/hayden, fhhcotn, food, freak rains of fish, gargoyles, harry/cedric, harry/ron, having too many dvds, heterosexual lifemates, ineffability, ipods, maxxie, movies, music, normal rains of fish, pancreaticoduodenectomies, pirates, procrastination, reading, redundant rains of fish, roleplaying, rps, saving the world, screenwriting, shunching, sounding rather explicitly sexual, subtext rapidly becoming text, terrified houseplants, the 80's, the baclig, the gay fantasia (mexico), tv shows, war letters, wesley/fred, writing