Our grocery store has a Perishable Manager and a Non-Perishable Manager and I know it’s talking about the departments they oversee but really it seems like Seth may be mortal but David will never die
amen
pet pet
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BUILD A. SQUID. make your own squid and set. it free. BUILD YOUR. SQUID. FIND YOUR. SQUID { MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM } YOUR SQUID
ive been laughing for 100 years at this omfg
I pulled my sister in law for the family holiday gift swap this year and I'm vibrating with excitement. I've been wanting to get her for years. she's the most basic woman I've ever met and I mean that with admiration that borders on fear. Her house is full of inspirational quotes in cursive. Her bathroom has a "Lashes Long Coffee Strong" poster and she doesn't even drink coffee. Her makeup is Did. Her hair is Did. She is fashionably tipsy at every occasion. She sells bougie wine for a living and brings a hair curler with her on vacation. She is the maximalist luxury target consumer for literally everything. I am obsessed with her the way a gay man is obsessed with Liza Minelli. I would buy her a pink rhinestone car with lashes on the headlights if it wasn't a bit outside the secret santa spending limit.
Ideas I've had so far:
- A gold plated wine opener with her name engraved on it
- some kind of classy-but-cunty Christmas decor. Something chi-chi and sparkly that's giving "oh, it's Christmas, bitch"
- one of those instax mini cameras in a color like "blossom pink" because you know this diva scrapbooks
- those little bone china Tiffany's cups that are made to look like cheap disposable paper cups but they're Tiffany blue and they say "Tiffany's" on them (because you know this diva is obsessed with Tiffany's)
- a Swarovski birthstone bracelet because you know this diva actually gives a shit about her birthstone
I hope none of this comes off as sarcastic because if my kidneys were gold and made by Louis Vuitton I'd give her one of those. This woman is delightful and friendly and warm and organizes the family photo with an air of command fit for a British naval commodore. She is more self-actualized than me, she is happier than me, her chi is clean, and she still talks about her quinceañera. Her wedding was "Tuscan-themed." How do I please this perfect angel. What should be my tribute
Show up at work like hi boss sorry I'm late my I was helping my mother track down one specific 90s dungeon crawler for the purposes of obtaining a muffin recipe the developer hid in the files
Anyway shoutout to Stonekeep (1995)
I'M MAKING THE MUFFINS
Burnt my hand picking it up to show. Gonna wait to taste.
Taste review: Make the video game muffins oh my GOD.
These are DELICIOUS! I substituted chocolate chips for pecans because its what i had on hand.
It tastes like a pumpkin gingerbread cake! Great treat for fall and winter!
Definitely make these!
Text from recipe
Tim Cain's Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins -- They're the shadow king's favorite!
- 1 and 2/3 cup flour
- 2 tsp cinnamon
- 1/4 tsp cloves
- 1/4 tsp baking powder
- 2 eggs
- 1 cup chocolate chips
- 1 cup sugar
- 1 tsp nutmeg
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1 cup pumpkin (half of a 16 oz can)
- 1/2 cup (one stick) butter, melted
preheat oven to 350. grease muffin tins (one dozen regular size) or use baking cups. mix flour, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl. Break eggs into another bowl. add pumpkin and butter and whisk until blended. stir in chocolate chips. pour over dry ingredients and stir until just blended. do NOT overstir! scoop batter into tins and bake 20-25 minutes. after cooling, keep muffins wrapped in plastic to avoid drying.
I'm sure people have pointed it out already, but
Tim Cain is one of the creators of Fallout
and he is an overall delight