We’re in the twilight zone to be sure.  When I first got involved in organized fandom, I needed to have someone vouch for me at the zine dealer’s table at my local con.  The dealer would then pull the slash zines out from under the table for me to look at.  That level of caution was called for, because slash writers and zine publishers had lost their jobs, their homes, their life savings, the custody of their kids, everything -- for writing/publishing slash fic. 

I know we’re living in a different world now, but I can’t help worrying about the younger fans who are out there with their legal names.   

I have fannish children that have trained their friends in The Way of Respectful Fandom (kudos, comments, usernames, anonymity, take tags seriously, the back button is there and it’s up to you to use it, other people are not responsible for your content consumption, curate your own experience, etc) but it surprises me still that so many kids are entering fandom openly. Like - they share fics with real life friends! They read good lines out loud in crowds!

But honestly the need to be furtive in the past has meant that younger people can be under the impression that fandom did not exist prior to the 2000s. Fics involving internalized homophobia or references to laws against equal marriage are seen as homophobic or discriminatory themselves. I worry that we have a whole generation of fans who expect everything to reflect their own experience and have no tolerance or understanding that other people have had different experiences.

Also the whole “but fanfic is completely legal, I don’t understand why the OTW exists” thing makes me twitch.

(Speaking just for myself, not as a representative of AO3) the amount of questions/feedback we get that demonstrate a profound lack of awareness of what AO3 is and what it stands for is a bit alarming at times. I mean things like asking us to institute a tipping system so authors can get paid for their work. Or reporting an entire Warning category to us for removal, as if we were perhaps not aware that it exists as a built-in part of the site.

Like, I get that people who have not had that background or came up in different fannish environments may just not be aware, and we obviously answer all these questions to the best of our ability as to why we allow the content we do, and why we aren't going to change our stance on allowing people to monetize their works on the Archive. But it doesn't stop me from getting a cold chill down my spine.

MORE! MORE!

This is an official anti-JKR post!

the only reason i have never been groomed online is because when i was 10 i befriended 17 year olds who taught me how to interact with older people online safely.

yall have got to stop being scared of children online and start actually teaching them the ropes. because if you are not up there with them then they're going to be completely alone with the creeps and have 0 metric for what is and is not an appropriate relationship. this also applies offline.

when i was in my first internet community-- which was a well-moderated space-- my parents were concerned i was Talking to Adults. what they meant by this was that lifetime channel had recently done a couple movies in a row about internet grooming and murder, where isolated young girls were lured to meet much older men (who had lied about their own age) in person.

despite being a child of the 80s whose parents, understandably, had no experiential basis for teaching internet safety, i knew internet safety. no real name, no real location, don't share your age more than a rough range if at all, etc. why did i know those things? because adults in my first fandom communities taught me and other kids who showed up in those forum and chat spaces. they moderated or deleted messages that shared too much, laid ground rules, shepherded us. i knew those people in community, not in isolation (another tip the forum babies were given).

when my parents tried to ban me from all fandom internet-- a thing that was 80% of my social experience, as a rural, autistic, homeschooled teenager-- i posted a farewell in the forum (after a whole day of angry crying and arguing). one sweet member of the forum was a 20-something mom with two toddlers, and she wrote a lovely letter for me to print for my parents explaining how the community was moderated and what a benefit it could be and offered her own email and phone number if they wanted to chat.

they didn't reach out to her, but that letter is why i was allowed to stay online. just having the offer and the explanation was enough to reassure my parents. i wasn't besties with this woman, just a casual friend in the same space, but we stayed in touch. i respected her and the advice she and other adults in that community gave and it kept me safe in other interactions going forward

i'm friends with many of the people from that community on facebook now. they're still friends with each other. that kind woman? i watched via internet as her kids graduated. she watched me get married and have my own kids.

one of my older friends in another fandom was in her thirties when i got my driver's license as a teen. she celebrated with me. she sent my oldest kids a baby shower box that contained blankets that became their special blankies they still have saved somewhere as teens.

those relationships have been some of the most important ones of my teen years. they were people who enjoyed fandom chats with me, but also invested in me as a PERSON and not just as a kid they were tolerating. in the right context of healthy friendship, their advice and perspective kept me safe and helped me grow.

of course there are red flags kids should be taught for any relationship, but to stigmatize friendships across generational gaps harms kids more than it helps them. kids NEED friends that cross those spaces.

Another reason for the kiddos these days to stop trying to push us fandom olds out, or act as if we don’t exist. Ironic that the kids I used to teach about never giving real names or locations are now struggling to get kids to understand the why now.

. First name Ryland, last name Grace
Sacrificed to save my race
Shot my ass to outer space
Make friend in unexpected place
Good friend Rocky, he is best
Hear when organ thump in chest
Friend with Human, watch when rest
Invent foods he can digest

this was so beautiful i paused mid sandwich to write

AS SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN A LONGTIME FAN I AM HONOURED??? SCREAMING