Life and Philosophy In the Urban Landscape

Date books, and some people talk about the nature premise that men pursue women.

But oftentimes, women want to pursue men.  However, usually when women do, they are pursuing "emotionally unavailable men" or species of the sort.

  However, they have to PRETEND to be emotionally unavailable in order to catch a man... because men enjoy the thrill.

It is also common the stereotype that women get bored with available guys because they don't challenge them.

Has anyone thought that maybe women enjoy the chase as much as men?  Has anyone questioned men enjoyed the chase the way women are questioned.

Because men enjoy the chase, but they get tired too.  I have noticed that.

Many a time, when I am on dates with a person, it ends up not working; either  because the guy has to "chase me"  in order to "give up my space," or because I am "too available."  Then, the person gives up after a while.

I am not condoning either position,  my point is, if women and man are different, to what extent is nature and to what extent is cultural conditioning?

Maybe the thrill of the chase is simply human, but it has been discouraged on women for thousands of years because women used to be seen as, for lack of a better term, "objects" that belonged to the home sphere.  So men had to fight for this. 

Perhaps this is one of the reasons I rarely date.  I just want to be myself.

Discuss...

  Yesterday, at the Virayoga Studio,  I went to a workshop called Drag the Dark Into the Light.  I wanted to go because I am a big fan of the theory of the human shadow, proposed by Carl Gustav Jung, among others.  In it, Jung said that we should acknowledge the dark side of ourselves and channeling it, for ignoring the darkness in us makes its manifestation out of proportion.

For me personally, writing about death, darkness, anger and depression in my poetry is one of the ways I deal with this shadow.  Admiring the music and words of Nick Cave, PJ Harvey and Bauhaus, as well as the cinematic work of Gaspar Noe (to put an example that many consider extreme) are ways to deal with this shadow.  What I like about this workshop I went to, is that it resonated with me while reminding me of other ways of dealing with the shadow that are more difficult but deserve equal attention and resolution.

My computer just died.  It died yesterday while I was talking to my best friend and right now I am updating from a cybercafe.  I think that the fundamental reason I prefer to fix my motherboard has to do with the things I don't want to lose.

But anyway...

I have been doing yoga every day.  That is my intent for at least two weeks, even if it is 5 minutes.  There is a reason for it: I registered in a yoga session at the Rubin museum of art.  It is one of my favourite styles of yoga (anusara); one teacher I like a lot (Elena Brower) and POETRY!  I would have to sleep early on saturday, but considering I will have vacation next week, I think it will be worth it.  It is like training for a 5K run, for me.   So far, I have done it every day of the week.  I have to partially thank Max (my cat, in case you did not read my former entry) for waking me up around 5:30 PM.  I managed to do a total of half an hour of a dvd (I have been rotating them).  I think mixing it up is a good thing.

I have another yoga event next saturday too, so it is another excuse to keep doing yoga at home.  I do it for both physical and spiritual reasons.  And I think making excuses to do it every day will make me used to do it for a while.
 
More reflections later.  I want to read blogs!

I am trying to reconnect with my journal. 

I think it became hard in 2008 when I was battling depression and all its symptoms (obsessiveness, constant crying, constantly feeling awkward).  It all came to a pic at the end of that year, and it was a really hard thing.  Maybe I was too embarrassed to tell my story.  Even with those privileged to read friends-only entries, I felt an embarrassment.

And then, it s as if my body was kicking a habit I don't want to kick.

There are so many things happening to me and in my surroundings that I want to share, especially now that I am emotionally more at peace, like never before in my life.  And yet maybe because I got used not to blog anymore.

So I am trying to discuss with myself: how to go back to this?  What to blog about?  What do I want to get out?  To tell the world?

I think I have ideas.  But I am just brainstorming.

Let's see... For now all I can tell is: Stay tuned.

But in more recent happenings, I am doing yoga, I have a cat (Maximus Naranjus Raelius) who I love and I have met a lot of interesting people.  Yesterday, I hung out with a couple of female friends to watch a movie (Dum Maaro Dum), and another bunch of friends in the West Village.  I still keep an eye on my budget.  And I am thankful for all the good things happening.

Ohhh And on wednesday I went to see PJ Harvey.  I loved it.  She is a tremendous performer and makes one feel at home.  I forgot I was standing up and about feeling my legs until I left the concert.

I guess I am going to try to write every week, but be flexible.  Let us see.

1)  The attonishing ammount of snow today is covering the astonishing amount of dirty snow a few weeks ago.  At least (and at least in Jackson Heights) there was a decent clean-up of the streets, but the side-walks looked like a deep-dish pizza, without the veggies and sauce.

2) Seagulls have been flying this week to Jackson Heights.  Looks like they like it here when it snows.

3) In Broadway, Kiefer Sutherland and Jason Patric are acting together in a play.  I still remember they were best friends and ended the friendship over Julia Roberts 20something years ago.  Either they rekindled the friendship sometime before, or, at least, became comfortable to work together again?  Ohh Irrelevant fact of the day!

4)  It is funny to know that after the Eagle Theatre closed down a couple of weeks after I moved into the neighbourhood, the only Bolllywood movie theatre that I heard of is in Fresh Meadows (Can someone correct me if I am wrong?).  The MTA should use the additional money we are paying them to put trains to other neighbourhoods of Queens that are not otherwise that reachable (OK, the busses work well, but still); direct trains from Queens to Brooklyn, and from Queens to the Bronx; and trains to Jersey City, which is way more New York than, say, Staten Island.  I know this won't happen anytime soon, but a New Yorker girl can dream.

5) It might be a smaller room, but Agora Yoga in Astoria has a great vibe and for only $5.00 you get more than what you bargained for.  Next step: Yoga to the People in the Lower East Side.

6) Copper Chimney in Manhattan has one of the best drinks in town, and the Stone Rose Lounge has one of the best views...  And especially when live Jazz is playing, it can be really enjoyable.

More to come.  Stay tuned.

If any of these fellows was dating my mother (Disclaimer: I love Hugh and I think he is good to and for my mum, and gets along with us mom's children just fine), I would be proud!

Amitabh Bachchan:


John Cleese:


Michael Palin:


Paul McCartney: (Sorry Susana; I know you hate him! :P)


Rajesh Khanna:
Update:   Due to new information given by my Desi friend imperfectmanx , he was demoted to the category of the man below! (To think I like his movies.  Anand being my favourite.)

Hugh Hefner... NOT (He is creepy, married to a 24 year old at 84...  In other words, someone two year younger than my 86 year old grandmother-now that I mention this, he is too old for my mother as well- is marrying someone four years younger than my 28 year old younger brother!). As one reader of Metro New York pointed out, this fellow is one of the men (or, for that matter, factors) to blame for the insecurity of women and their pressure to be youthful; especially for those who want a marriage or companion and have not found him by a certain age).
(Which is one of many reasons why I came to terms with the fact that being single is not that bad.

UPDATE: How the hell could I forget PETER GABRIEL???
(Now that I am more mature, I like and admire his courage at deciding to look his age when he had formerly an angelic beauty)



PS: I am realizing how many Brits are in this list!  This coming for a person who is normally not that attracted to the Anglo-Saxon variety.

WARNING: Cross-posted with pekkywriter 

There are a few lucky souls like my sister and brother in law, who have found spacious apartments in Harlem.  But one of my reasons not to move from Queens is that I don't have to make this kind of compromises!  I have a rather spacious studio I am happy to live in!

Courtesy of sandybale 

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I always come with these wonderful things I dream of updating about.  Especially these days when 1) I am more upbeat; 2) I have had personal victories that I ESPECIALLY want to share with those who have read my blog for years (sorry general public reading me in FB, etc.  These are not public).  3)  I am discovering things in NY.

But every time I come home I come tired with doing little more than reading or watching movies.  If I have energies, I want to be out doing more stuff.

The only things I type are the usual chats with some people who mean something to me (like long distance friends; my best friend, etc).

What will I need to change?  I still have a passion for blogging.  It's just the motivation that runs low.

Maybe I should set an hour a day to blog?  I dunno.

In the NYC fauna, taxi drivers are a typical species, but after two years of occasionally riding taxies, I can conclude that there are some particular sub-species:

-The Jeckyll and Hydes:  They start being nice but if you make a mistake they behave like assholes.  These generally can be found in the car services, and fortunately they see, a minority, but still they exist.  The last one I encountered was last December.

-The Assholes: they inhabit mostly in Manhattan, but there are some in the other boroughs (I think.  I know for a fact that there are some in Queens!)  If they are the Yellow Cab variety, they can be more irritating, because, instead of seeing the time they have to wait for one of the passengers as a good opportunity to earn money, they start cursing at the person who gives company to the other one they have to wait for (if there is company).  I have a few friends I have lived  some adventures with these species.  The last one was on my own though... Anemic as I was, I was too weak to walk from my work to the hospital, so I called a taxi.  The driver first told me that he could not hear me, but for the attitude he had, I knew this one was a jerk.  He kept mistreating me until we almost arrived to the hospital.  I paid on purpose with card and did not give tip.  Then he came saying that he only drives good people because he is a good person and that he was not asking for tip, just for what "he deserved")  Then he says: "Don't worry, there will be a generous customer that will pay me a 10 dollar tip and pay me in cash.  I always earn 3 hundred dollars a week, and God will compensate me with more good customers."  I said "I am so sorry" in a sarcastic tone, while thinking "You really deserve an Oscar AND a Tony for your wonderful representation of a Jackass, if you are the good person you claim to be!"  And I tried to slam the door, but I was too weak for that!.

- The Quiet Ones:  For the most part, they are nice, or at least neutral people.  They don't talk to you either because they are shy, or because they don't want to interrupt your conversation with someone else.  The good thing about (most of) them is that they are polite and/or pleasant.

- The Generous ones:  They see that you are in need and they are willing to take you to your destination, even if that is a shorter distance.  If, as a woman, I stay in wherever I am until dangerous hours and there is nobody I can ride trains until my destination with, a (generally) $5.00 tip is in order (because only three out of five cab drivers  are unwilling at such big hours.  They might be talkative or quiet, but whenever they talk to you, they have a pleasant attitude and tone of voice all the way towards your destination (especially if such destination is home).