Liebeslieder (Love Songs)

It feels so strange to be trying to write an LJ entry, my last post was Dec. of last year. I still love having this ongoing journal, and the ability to see where I was like 6 whatever years ago if I choose to. And I come often to read my "friends" posts and comment where I can. But in terms of new entries I have found myself strangely...

( speechless?Collapse )

---

Yesterday was a day to remember. Thanks to subdermal I fired a gun okay several guns for the first time ever in the afternoon.

( Don't point it at anything you don't intend to blow away.Collapse )

And then in the evening my mom passed away. I'm okay I guess, it was a blessing,

( for lack of a better word.Collapse )

I just realized that I forgot to post this here.

I have turned down every invitation to spin for months now. Reveling in solitude, kitty company, new home... But this is an excellent goodbye to 2008. I still haven't decided what if anything I'm doing for New Years after all. A few friends have said they'll be there tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to it!

I'm off work at 10pm then I shall unpack my DJ equipment finally. Awesome!

With the exception of my DJ mixes etc, I don't think I've ever before posted the exact same blog entries in multiple places (for eg here and Facebook, although I spread stuff upon & from the Church of Virus BBS sometimes). I'm not implying that it's bad when people do, I just tend to try to mix it up. But I think this is an important read and worthy of the spreading and your consideration.

I think this (well, the following) blog entry is exceptionally well-written. It echoes perfectly conversations I've had, namely that mental illness (definitely & obviously including depression) is one end of the spectrum. For years I work[ed] daily with addicts, junkies, and the untreated homeless mentally ill, I've seen the effects non-medication can have. I played my part in many a "form 10" where a person is legally forced into incarceration for a mental evaluation. And I have close friends who suffer.

But at the other end of the spectrum is a more general sense of depression, inadequacy, and anxiety. And nonetheless I don't believe that people need to seek therapy for every little thing that ever happened to them.
As this article I'm posting states:
“I learned that I wasn’t sad because there was something wrong with my brain. I learned that I was sad because my life sucked.”

---

Source : Violent Acres (anonymously written blog)
Most People Are Depressed For a Very Good Reason

( It’s never the lousy job or the loveless marriage or the helplessness one feels when they finally realize they’ve been pressured into living a life they would have never chosen for themselves. No, it’s never that. It’s always a broken brain.Collapse )

One minute to remember isn't too much to ask today.

It is the soldier, not the reporter,
Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet,
Who has given us the freedom of speech.
It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,
Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier, not the lawyer,
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the soldier
Who salutes the flag.
Who serves under the flag.
And whose coffin is draped in the flag.
Who allows the protester to burn the flag.
- unattributed -

I said it all last year's today.

---

I made this mix a looong time ago. Then I forgot about it. But hey it was fun to make. I do love mash-ups and "versus" mixes, so here's hoping I umm pulled it off? And that "you" enjoy this or any of the many which I've put up.

Also, I like that it was actually a complete fluke I coincided posting this with Remembrance Day: Honour...

DJ dAndroid

VNV Nation - Honour (2003)
vs
The Knife - Silent Shout

Played on Pioneer DJ equipment, and recorded in Garageband.

YouSendIt:
Dance Motherfucker!

So the download is good for 7 days or 100 downloads, whichever comes first. I posted this on Facebook like a week ago and kinda forgot to put it here, but there's a couple of days left.
As I always add if you enjoy it or otherwise please comment! And it is zipped with the iMac archiver-there haven't been any problems yet but if there's a problem let me know.

And thanks to my peeps at Electron Tuesdays. It is awesome to get out to a club and spin when my old bones & general hermitude allows me!
Calgary. Tuesdays. Electron. Soda. Check it out. Be robotic.
Electron Myspace

So I took my dreads out a couple of days ago. My hair is surprisingly undamaged I guess? But then I've put it through worse whatever that's worth. It is however stunningly thin my having pulled out like a months worth of hair all at once hair that I would have lost through combing etc. It was deja-vu though. Standing in the shower pulling out clumps of hair and remembering years of my fright-wig Cure-hair days.

I haven't had it cut/fixed/dyed yet however, I will soon. I've been pretty sick for the last week and I wanted that to pass before I saw much of anyone. Fortunately, odd coughing fits aside, I think it is, passing. It's been an uneventful and mostly lonely weekend.

I bought a lovely 30 year old mahogany hammered dulcimer. It can be hit, bowed or plucked and once it is delivered it'll have been nice knowing you all; I intend to get rapturously lost in stringed beauty.

-------------

( Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post as The Controversial Survey?Collapse )

-------------

I'm spinning at Soda on Tue. the 14th. SFDE is playing live and he puts on a great & stompy Industrial show! Click the link & check out his new song. Cover at Electron Tuesdays is always free or rarely $2. Come out if you can. It'll be fun!

I could undoubtedly come up with other influential books. I don't care right this minute however. William Gibson and all of his works have been such a huge influence upon my own life, that really I just wanted to acknowledge this.

Life is strange these days. I haven't felt quite like myself for a while now. I seem to have entered some liminal state which has me free-floating, asexual, and intensely directionless. Where have I gone?

I'm very aware I'm going to have to sort out this job(less) thing eventually soon. But I'm just so content to draw off my savings. I still have a strangely substantial amount of money in my account(s), and as foolish as it is, it's just so easy to pretend that I can drift like this forever. Except that it's not making me happy anyways. Almost four years of hobo-wrangling and all I thought about was not working anymore. And now here I am and it's only left me schedule-less, uninspired, unhappy and lonely because now I keep such random hours I rarely see anyone.

My roommate has announced that he's moving in with his g-f come Dec. 1st so looks like I'm moving. I refuse to get another roommate even if I knew how. For the last year I've lived with peeps and I'm just done. I want my own bunker back but I'll definitely look elsewhere. I love this location but I know I can find things in a 1-bedroom that will make me more comfortable; hardwood and a dishwasher for starters. And while I probably could afford to stay here on my own assuming the eventual job pays much the same, I know I could find a nicer 2-bedroom if I decided on that route.

I also pulled the plug on seeing Nick Cave. It's so strange of me to do that! I mean missing Tom Waits AND Nick Cave all in the same year should just end me. But I'm not up for the travel stress right now. I'm just too much of a homebody. And while I can happily fritter my money away $20 at a time, the $300+ bux on airfare plus all the associated expenses I just couldn't seem to justify to myself. *shrug* My concert tix been sold already and that did hurt but life goes on. It somehow never really sunk in I was finally seeing Mr. Cave anyways. It never stopped feeling far away even as it crept up.

---

Ah well spinning at The Robot_Dance_Party on Tuesday was awesome!

I didn't even get photos of all the robots who showed up. We gave away robots & gift cert's and it was so much fun! We're definitely doing it again maybe in a couple months or something. I've really enjoyed spinning the couple, few times I have at ELECTRON Tuesdays; and the frequent hanging out there when I'm not. It's generally pretty dead but seems to be picking up slowly. Tuesdays have always been a hard sell for any bar. Still the music is always great, and even when it's "dead" it just feels like an intimate gathering of friends & peers.

The Robot party however was definitely awesome. The ELECTRON crew have actually told me they've assimilated me which made me feel appreciated. They've extended the invitation to spin every Tuesday if I wish too. I don't though, I'm content to just do it once in awhile. More often than I have however I think.
Miz _Kat CJSW's Turing Radio, Mark Kosmonaut-from DataLink, and myself are actually a pretty good electronica team. All plugged in together it works.

Here's some pics of the party.

( more human than humanCollapse )

Robot Movies on multiple screens!

Gift Cert's from:
The Uptown
Bird Dog Video
Cafe Beano
Plus Robots which Roland Moog (Electronic_Music_Calgary) is bringing for prizes!
- The Best Robot Costume
- Best Robot Dance moves
- And Robot Friend
- Best Robot Couple

Plus, DJ K# CJSW Turing Radio Mix CDs will be available for all you music lovers.

DJ K# and DJ Kosmonaut and DJ dAndroid
Robot Dance Party!
Tues Sept 16
9pm - Late
$2 cover
Soda
ELECTRON

If you need robot costume instructions we recommend:
1) http://www.coolest-homemade-costum…
10) http://www.indymogul.com/post/1074…
11) http://www.ehow.com/how_2077530_ma…

And just a few more tips:
DO use silver or gold spray paint. DO use aluminum foil.
DO buy silver and gold lame clothes from AA.
DO measure before you cut. DO NOT construct costume while wearing boxes or materials.
DO include batteries. DO NOT run out of power at Robot Dance Party.

Costumes are not mandatory! Just fun!
If you can come, bleep, beep & blip in whatever ya want!
I would love to see you! Yes, you!

Edited to add: Okay, doors are at 9pm! xo1001xo

Miz bittirsweet made and installed my synth-dreads last night, she's awesome. Mostly they make me feel really pale & pasty. They'll definitely take some getting used to. I'm kinda trying to think of 'em in an old Ministry Al Jourgensen kinda way.

On the plus-side a totally random Asian woman in the lobby of my building when I got home told me that my hair was "beautiful," so obviously that was really, really nice. Then when I went to Macs afterwards the clerk said my hair was "awesome" and gave me my slurpee for free. I could get used to this!

They'll be fun for a little while, I have no idea how long I'll keep them. Definitely until after the Nick Cave concert anyways. It's all shaved underneath they're pretty much only on the top of my head. I'll be happy after a couple showers when they've settled down and aren't so poofy. And they kinda freak my cat out at the moment! heh Fallout didn't know WTF to think when I got home, and she attacks my head when I sit on my couch(es).

( sex times technology equals the futureCollapse )

I'm going away with my sister and fam to Rimbey for the weekend at some point this morning, and coming back Monday. I probably won't have internet so I hope your weekend is great. Ciao

Edited to add:
PS I wish I had time to fix my eyebrows and lashes and all that girly stuff before Mon or Tue. heh Eliminating the blonde, where's the nanotech dammit?!

Today is an zombapocageddonarmalypse kinda day. I've been reading a lot of Transmetropolitan and/or particularly my man J.G. Ballard lately and that'll do it. On TV someone interviewed a 'primitive' tribesman in Africa, they're like:
Journalist: "Have you ever seen the internet?"
Tribesman: "Inter-what?"
Journalist: "Well have you ever seen a computer?"
Tribesman: "Com-put-or? ... HaHa I'm just fucking with you! Yes of course I know what a computer and the internet is."

Makes you think though? You'd have to go pretty far off the map these days to be somehow truly alone, marooned, or lost? Within the city there are islands within the concrete sea and our homeless and junkies know where. They are filled with garbage and ringed in rubble and fences, out of sight of surveillance cameras or by people with anything to lose. But you can't get lost in those asphalt archipelagos, and who doesn't have a cellphone these days? So as J.G. Ballard so wonderfully covered for city-dwellers that pretty much only leaves the subliminal fear of being trapped by a power failure in the tunnel of a subway system, or trapped in an elevator of a skyscraper over a long holiday weekend.

TRAPPED IN AN ELEVATOR FOR 41 HOURS
Footage of Nicholas White trapped in an elevator in the McGraw-Hill Building. New York

Robinson Crusoe and all the problems of survival on a tropical paradise. Perhaps made easier by your ship marooned conveniently nearby like your very own WalMart which you can plunder. In the perfect circumstances you get a Gilligan's Island scenario, you have/are the smart professor and of course there are Marianne's coconut cream-pies.

I still like to lay in bed in the dark, pretending I'm adrift in a lifeboat. Nearby the ocean-liner is ablaze and sinking slowly and maybe there's an iceberg nearby creaking, groaning, settling. It was one of my favorite games as a child, usually with my cat abducted and forced under the blankets with me.