The Life of Jorge

Feeling: Bleh
Watching: We Are Xros Heart - "Digimon Xros Wars AMV"




It seems that with the year using the Pen Tablet only, i have lost some skills in using regular pencils an pens. Single characters are still easy to draw but adding another character together in close scenarios are almost impossible for me. With using the Sai's layer feature, i would always able to adjust the sketch to make it look right but i cant do that with paper. Ive have start to get use to drawing with paper once more so i can get better with it like before. :P which is a pain since i have some ideas to draw but cant with my current traditional art skills.

I guess that's all for now, until next time.

~Jorge

Feeling: BORED!!!
Watching: DJ Amaya - "Winter Wrap Up REMIX"




So I tried to take my friend Yksi's advice an try an work on some traditional art but I couldn't keep focus on it. My mind keeps going back to the Art that I HAVE to work on. I know i cant work on them, i know that the Commissioners are alright with it an understand why i cant but i still cant keep my mind off of them. I also tried playing some of my unfinished video games but there is that nagging voice that keeps bothering an i lose interest in the game as like the traditional art, i cant keep focus on it. So yea, i have to at least work on them, even for a bit, before i can feel right doing anything else. Yes, i know this sounds really strange to hear I guess but it does show how much i am dedicated to the commissions that i owe. :P

I guess that's all for now, until next time.

~Jorge

Feeling: Bored
Watching: Pinkie Pie - "Smile"




With my tablet dead, Ive got a lot of time on my hands so I thought i should post something here. As you can tell that i haven't kept my promise to try to update this as much as i can. :P

Although as always as before, when I'm too busy i want to post a journal but when i have a lot of time on my hands i got nothing to post. :/ I hate when that happens. I could catch up on my video games that i haven't finished yet but I would feel bad though. Yes i have an excuse for not working on Commissions cause of my tablet being dead but for some reason i cant shake the feeling like that its wrong for me to play since there is Commissions to finish yet i cant. x(

I also noticed that when I'm not working on Commissions or Art, that it is really BORING around here. I didn't realize how much time i spend on art that once that was put a stop, i really have nothing else to do besides play video games but only that could do so much.

I'm also waiting on my Pet's friend for her to come up with the money for her group commission. I told my pet a few week ago before my Pen Tablet died that it was in the process of dieing so she talked to her close friend about which she got this idea. She wants to Commission me to do a big Group Commission for her an her friends for the convention RCFM. She thought up that if everyone chips in $10 in a group of like 5 or 6 people, that i can use that money to buy myself a new Pen Tablet. The idea is really awesome so now I'm just waiting for her to come up with the money so i can buy it as soon as i get.

I guess that's all for now, until next time.

~Jorge

Feeling: Happy
Watching: Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin' - Minecraft


LOVE THIS SHOW AND LOVE THAT GAME <3

Christmas has come and gone, didn't get any presents this year although I have been told by several close friends that there gifts are being sent to be a lil late so I cant wait for them. If folks are wondering why I am not sad about not getting many presents its cause I always feel bad asking for gifts or expecting to get gifts. Maybe its how i was raised or have been taught but I always feel bad when I get gifts and cant return the favor even when the gifts that i get was out of the heart. Although maybe im a hypocrite by having a Amazon Wishlist and at times posting the link in my FA profile and during my birthday for people to see it. I cant help wanting gifts yet at times feel bad for even asking for some. I don't know, I'm just weird I guess.

Anyway, Ive gotten many things thru out this year that it really doesn't matter that I didn't get any presents on Christmas. Within this year i have gotten a PSP, a Laptop, Video Games for the PSP and the DS, a Pen Tablet, a New Phone and several new clothes. More importantly, still having the friends that I have and still staying a part of there lives. That's more important to me then getting any gifts (although getting gifts is always a plus ^^; ).

Finished another commission that my friend Reian got a few weeks back. One of the Outfit Commissions and it turned out looking good. Her fursona colors is always a difficult to work on yet very pleasing once its completed. I still have One more left in the Outfit Commission and once that series is down then I can start working on another lil series of Nude Pins Wing It Commissions. This time though it will involve females and herms only. If folks can tell, i am slowly trying to do several different things with these lil series. The Outfit Commissions were getting to draw different characters but also different types of clothing. The Pin Up Commissions will get me to draw more females (as if I don't draw them enough already) but also herms since I never tried to them and been wanting to for a while.

I guess that's all for now, until next time.

~Jorge

Feeling: Cheerfull
Watching: Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance Trailer



I SO WANT THAT GAME!!!! x3

Alright, 2 hours ago i just sent out two badges for a Commissioner to Canada (So cool XD) and later today I still need to finish one of the Outfit Commission that I am working on. To those that don't know what that is, its a Wing It type of Commission where there is a pre-drawn pose already set and anyone can get the pose for there character to be in for a cheap price then a regular commission would be. The one that i have been doing lately is a lil series based on an article that I read online called "The 5 Outfits Guys Secretly Hope You'll Wear" (to read it, here it is - http://www.redbookmag.com/beauty-f… ) So far I have completed 3 out of 5 outfits while while on one so there is one more outfit left to be taken. Originally this was meant to be a quick and fast to do but with many things in RL that kept interrupting me that it is taking a lot longer then planned but I do hope to finish these soon so I can start on another Wing It Commission series although this time based on nude Female and Herm Pinups.

To those that want to see what my Outfit Commissions look like, here is a link to the Tittle Pic that has links to each of the lucky ladies in there outfits. ^^ - http://www.furaffinity.net/full/67…

I guess that's all for now, until next time.

~Jorge

Feeling: Depressed
Watching: Amano Tsukiko - "Chou"



Alright, once again i haven't been able to update here in quite some time now although now with my own laptop that should change.

Anyway, recently I just been wanting to be left alone cause of what happen at work. I may have mention that I really dont like working at the lil store anymore cause of how one of my bosses is annoying well not BOTH of my bosses are getting on my nerves lately. One being a whinny lil worry wort while the other at first a bitch (which i can handle) but lately she has gotten tired of my stutter and has been starting doing fed up noises when ever I do start to stutter to her. If folks don't understand what I mean, its when people get to the point of being annoyed that they begin to grunt out of announces or slamming down on something.

Now at work when I try to talk to her, i tend to stutter (you would think me working there for about a year, she would of caught on by now) she would have this angry look then look away in disgust. At times she would just walk away from me or would tell me to "hurry up", as if that would make me talk better. And she wonders why I don't talk to her lot or just say the words "Ok", "Alright" most of the time. Its better to just say those words then get the treatment I do when I start to stutter. Its people like that that made me stay away from kids during school even though I really wanted to hang out with them. I thought adults were supposed to be more understanding and mature about stuff like this.

As if I can control or fix my stutter, I have been trying too since I was 8 cause that's as far as I can remember having this problem. I took those special Speech Therapy classes for them in Elementary School, Middle School and in High School. Some of the techniques have worked in the past but there are moments when it just doesn't work anymore.

I know i have talked about my stutter problem and I probably sound like a broken record but its as I said before, this is a a soft spot for me which I cant stand.

**sighs**

Next update hopefully wont be another lil rant but there will be more journals to come.

I guess that's all for now, until next time.

~Jorge

Feeling: In Thought
Watching: Robbi Robb - "In Time" - Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure MV



~*~Problem with my Boss~*~
So my boss has an accent since she is Korean and I can understand what she says most of the time but there are times when I can't understand what say said or I didn't hear it just right so I asked her to repeat it ,((you know trying to make sure)), but when I do she gets all mental about it. She begins to get loud and start saying that I don't listen and I don't understand English and other stuff. She really doesn't need to get all mad and on my ass about it, i wasn't trying to be rude or anything. If I am going to do what you say then I need to make sure what you said. Its been like this for about a year now. I mean come on. Why is getting another job so hard? I really do not work there anymore!!! >_<*

I guess that's all for now, until next time.

~Jorge

Feeling: Tired
Watching: Evanescence - "Imaginary" - Rune Soldier AMV



~*~Pet Tittle, Gone...Again~*~
Well this time it only lasted a day before my pet title was taken away again although this time I really didn't mind that it was and I didn't really get THAT much upset like I did before. I guess the same issues came up as well as other new ones that I will not discuss here. In all honesty, I wasn't really surprised that I'm no longer a pet anymore although I really didn't expect it to happen so soon. As much I do like being Kuro's pet I don't think it will ever happen again. I do like her but I don't wanna cause her and anyone close to her trouble. As before I will stay and always be her good friend. ^-^

~*~Am I a Source of Problems?~*~
Sometimes I wonder if I should just go back to being the quiet guy in the background again. Not opening my mouth or give any advise to anyone cause I always feel like with what ever I say in either in anger or in care, it will always cause trouble. Maybe its me, I do give my close friends advise when they don't even ask for it. I do voice them and my opinions to them cause I care about them and want them to know what I feel or think but maybe I should really stop doing that until they ask me for it. This is why I never talked back when I was growing up in school((of course the bullies and my stutter didnt help either)), it wasn't until I meet my ex as well as getting more into the furry fandom that I became more talkative but with recent events though... I don't know.

I guess that's all for now, until next time.

~Jorge

Feeling: Sad and Tired
Watching: Loreena McKennitt - "The Mummers' Dance"



Been a while that I last posted, sorry about that. ^^;

~*~Art Commissions~*~
Recently I've been working on commissions for this friend of mine on FA. I've done about 13 so far and still on working more to come. Its a lot but I am getting paid so its all good although when I do the commissions, its mostly late at night as I stream it live for him to watch. Its the only time I can actually do it really since most of it are adult/xxx art and I can't draw that during the day since my family comes and goes during the day. That is until I can get my own laptop so that i wont have to worry about them seeing what I draw.I have been getting some commissions from other people as well. Its not that many but its better then nothing.

~*~Love Interest~*~
I've also have been talking to this one girl on FA that I have done several commissions before which I am beginning to have some feelings for and her the same with me. Right now we are taking it easy and one step at a time since right now she lives in Tennessee while I live in California but we are planning on meeting during a furry convention here is So Cal, Califur, to see if there are anything between us. I really cant wait until then cause I really hope things do work out when we meet. She really is something. -^^-

~*~Pet Tittle, Granted Again~*~
Yesterday I was surprised with something that came out of nowhere. I was talking to my friend Kuro and then she surprised me by saying that I can be her pet again. I really didn't think that I was going to be her pet again with what how we ended it the last time. Now she seems more confident with her feelings and now wants me back as a pet once again. Of course I agreed and am very happy about it. I'm not sure how long this will last but I will make it worth it with the time that we do have. =^^=

~*~My STUPID Over-protectiveness~*~
So I was talking to a new friend earlier today that I meet about a week ago and it happens to be Kuro's new girlfriend/mate. Anyway we were talking about her going out and getting some rum and I began talking to her about not over doing it too much cause I believe this is the 3rd night that she is drinking rum again. I guess with the way I was saying it, she began to feel uneasy cause the way that I was being over protective kinda felt like as if she was my lover and not as a friend. I really do feel bad for making her feel that way for it was not my intend. I really need to stop being over protective of my friends, I do care about them a lot but I shouldn't be over baring like I did with Kim earlier. I will apologize to her when I see her again and will try to relax a bit more with how I treat my friends or else I will lose them.

I guess that's all for now, until next time.

~Jorge

Feeling: Depressed
Watching: Skillet- "Hero"



You know, I can take a lot of things in my life. Being called names, being called racial slurs, making fun of how I look or act. All that stuff I have gotten use and at times I too making fun of myself out of fun while growing up yet there is one thing that I hate. I HATE is when people make fun of my stutter or act different when they find out that I stutter. I might of posted a journal about this before already in the past but I need to write this out again or else I will go mad with rage...

There is someone who I talk to everyday that always makes me feel bad about my stutter. This person has to wonder by now why I only say one or two words to this person when ever he/she asks me stuff cause when ever I do talk and begin to stutter, this person makes this face that just irritates me to no end. Its an expression of disgust and impatient every time I start to stutter and when I do, this person just says "okay, okay fine fine" all in hurry and not wanting me to finish what I have to say. The way this person acts and expression does really hit a soft spot for me and it doesn't help when the last time this person said "Are you stupid?" Normally whenever someone calls me that, it never really bugs me at all but when this person said it because of my stutter...it took everything I had to not cry right there... Why does this person have to treat me this way? Why does this person act this way? WHY?

To the people who don't make fun of my stutter and understand it as well to the ones who often times call it cute, Thank you. You have no idea how much that really means to me. My stutter is the only thing in my life that I would want to change if given the chance too...I really just want to get rid of it.

I guess that's all for now, until next time.

~Jorge