Defining Intimacy
"Everyone knows" that men are either bad at intimacy (e.g. AZ Republic 2005), or define intimacy so much differently than women that it's not even the same concept (Elmore 2004). Salas and Ketzenberger (2004) found significant gender differences on average self-reported intimacy in same-sex relationships, but not in romantic relationships. Fehr (2004) found that men and women agree on the prototypical patterns that indicate intimacy (such as emotional support and self-disclosure) but women seem to place more importance on these factors than men do. Roy et al (2000) found equal levels of trust in men's and women's same-sex friendships, but found that women rated the importance of spending transitional periods together higher (both positive and negative events). Very few studies look at opposite-sex friendships, but Reeder (2003) gender role (masculinity or femininity) affects friend-gender-preference, but that this has no effect on friendship closeness.
My partner notes that we have ended up with a largely male circle of friends lately. He has traditionally had more female friends than male friends. Strangely, I feel like I have more female friends than ever, but note that we don't actually spend much time in person together - we "hang out" online. In person, the guys show up more. I have theorized that this is because the two main social event types we hold are "game nights" and sports viewing, but I have yet to explain why women don't more consistently attend game nights.
My partner notes that we have ended up with a largely male circle of friends lately. He has traditionally had more female friends than male friends. Strangely, I feel like I have more female friends than ever, but note that we don't actually spend much time in person together - we "hang out" online. In person, the guys show up more. I have theorized that this is because the two main social event types we hold are "game nights" and sports viewing, but I have yet to explain why women don't more consistently attend game nights.