(no subject)
every time i come here i start telling a story but i never finish it... not that anyone actually reads it lol
lately I've been really depressed, there's no joy in anything anymore, each day is a facade of what people want or expect me to be. Always happy for no fucking reason, always sweet like nothing bothers me, always pretty because i'm a girl.
that is NOT me, i am shy, quiet, a bit of tomboyish, not a girly-girl JUST FUCKING ME!!!
why can't people just accept the fact that this is who i am. I feel so hypocrite acting like i have lately. I never spent so much on clothes i would never worn before. Of course i get compliments and it's nice but they just rub off my skin, because they compliment is not really towards me, it's towards my clothes, hair, makeup, shoes, anything but me, the real me.
even my mom asked me why i dress up like i do now... I had no answer.
i had never felt more empty and alone as i do now, I've even started looking into things that had never crossed my mind before, hurtful and dangerous things... big sign that there is something bad going on.
Some have already begun without me noticing... i want to change those things but I won't change who i really am.
and if you don't like it? too bad because that someone has never been there, i am just an amazing actress.
So stop bitching about it and let me be WHO I AM! ! !