My Cat is Trying to Kill Me
Day 1:
It started out innocent enough. Even accidental, considering the circumstances. At around 5:00 am Monday morning I awoke with the absolute knowledge that Storm Shadow was making himself comfortable on my pillow. And by comfortable, I do not mean he curled up at my head and fell asleep. Why, that would be tolerable. Cute even.
No, "comfortable" means squatting on my head like a hen settles on her eggs. "Comfortable" means sticking his cold nose in my ear. It means licking my face, hair, pillow, or headboard. Any and all of which is guaranteed to annoy me when I've only got forty-five minutes of sleep left.
I'm lying on my left side, so I pull Storm Shadow down next to my stomach and attempt to go back to sleep. Storm Shadow waits for a moment, but no, the pillow is too tempting. He starts sneaking back, using my arm as leverage, and trying to use the nightstand as leverage too, since I sleep pretty close to the edge of the bed.
Next thing I know, he slips. Loses his balance. And decides that the underside of my left arm is the best place to dig in his back claws as he struggles to right himself.
Now granted, when I tossed him to the floor and glared at him, he had absolutely no idea he did anything wrong. He knew something was up though, and followed me into the bathroom where I had to wash out the wound with peroxide and bactine. The scratches (the underside of my arm looks like it's been shredded) actually burned before I treated it, and it still burns, though they're definitely not deep enough for stitches. Just deep enough to piss me off.
But you know me. I can't stay mad at my kitty for long. He was thoroughly forgiven by time I left for work that morning.
Day 2:
Storm Shadow has these moments. When he's playful, he gets very aggressive. The only way to really know if he's feeling playful or pissy is if he hisses. The extended, whiny battle cry is also a sign of pissiness.
I'm the last one to leave for work in the mornings. And about half the time, on my way from my bathroom to the garage (which takes me through the master bathroom, down the hallway, and through the kitchen), Storm Shadow starts hissing and whining and usually lunges for my leg. It's kind of funny, but rather disturbing, because he's really a sweet cat otherwise. He doesn't always lunge, and he doesn't always bite when he does lunge.
But this morning? He was pissy. He lunges and bites me right behind my knee. And by biting, I mean he digs his teeth in and draws blood. Such bites often result in bruising as well.
He did this. THROUGH MY JEANS.
After two days worth of injuries, I have concluded that my cat is trying to kill me.
It started out innocent enough. Even accidental, considering the circumstances. At around 5:00 am Monday morning I awoke with the absolute knowledge that Storm Shadow was making himself comfortable on my pillow. And by comfortable, I do not mean he curled up at my head and fell asleep. Why, that would be tolerable. Cute even.
No, "comfortable" means squatting on my head like a hen settles on her eggs. "Comfortable" means sticking his cold nose in my ear. It means licking my face, hair, pillow, or headboard. Any and all of which is guaranteed to annoy me when I've only got forty-five minutes of sleep left.
I'm lying on my left side, so I pull Storm Shadow down next to my stomach and attempt to go back to sleep. Storm Shadow waits for a moment, but no, the pillow is too tempting. He starts sneaking back, using my arm as leverage, and trying to use the nightstand as leverage too, since I sleep pretty close to the edge of the bed.
Next thing I know, he slips. Loses his balance. And decides that the underside of my left arm is the best place to dig in his back claws as he struggles to right himself.
Now granted, when I tossed him to the floor and glared at him, he had absolutely no idea he did anything wrong. He knew something was up though, and followed me into the bathroom where I had to wash out the wound with peroxide and bactine. The scratches (the underside of my arm looks like it's been shredded) actually burned before I treated it, and it still burns, though they're definitely not deep enough for stitches. Just deep enough to piss me off.
But you know me. I can't stay mad at my kitty for long. He was thoroughly forgiven by time I left for work that morning.
Day 2:
Storm Shadow has these moments. When he's playful, he gets very aggressive. The only way to really know if he's feeling playful or pissy is if he hisses. The extended, whiny battle cry is also a sign of pissiness.
I'm the last one to leave for work in the mornings. And about half the time, on my way from my bathroom to the garage (which takes me through the master bathroom, down the hallway, and through the kitchen), Storm Shadow starts hissing and whining and usually lunges for my leg. It's kind of funny, but rather disturbing, because he's really a sweet cat otherwise. He doesn't always lunge, and he doesn't always bite when he does lunge.
But this morning? He was pissy. He lunges and bites me right behind my knee. And by biting, I mean he digs his teeth in and draws blood. Such bites often result in bruising as well.
He did this. THROUGH MY JEANS.
After two days worth of injuries, I have concluded that my cat is trying to kill me.