Updates
I completely forgot that I had this, but leave it to procrastination to have me looking this up again.
So what has happened to me in the last 3+ years since I posted?
1) I graduated, against all odds, from law school
2) I failed the CA Bar exam twice (July '14, Feb '15) and I am now re-re-re-studying for it again.
3) I realize how not having money completely sucks. I used to complain about it in a funny, lighthearted way. But actually having no real income for over a year and having to work for barely minimum wage with a law degree is degrading. I completely understand where people who are stressed out about money are coming from. It's an incredible stress. The only thing preventing me from achieving the things I want is the Bar exam, but of course, it's this one thing that I have been stuck on for over a year now. I have no doubt that I can pass this test, but there is so much pressure I place on myself.
4) I am STILL living at home, but it's really not that bad at all. My family life has, for the most part, exponentially improved. I feel like law school and all the things I have gone through and maturing at a younger age has paid off. Overall, I feel like I have a pretty good head on my shoulders and I have a great support system of friends and my family (should I decide to confide in them).
5) Kitty is fine. Being a sassy bitch.
6) I am working out a lot. I am medically obese (I'm 5'8" and 220lbs) but I've been working out 4-5x a week for months. I lost 25 pounds last year, but gained a lot of it back due to bar prep. However, I know I can probably make my goal of getting below the 200 mark before the end of the year (which was my goal last year, but whatever). I have pretty terrible self-control issues when it comes to food (namely, Quickly + Cheez-Its + Twizzlers) but there are some things I cannot compromise on.
7) I am still single, although no woefully as I think I would have put it before. I have become more sexually active in the last few years. I usually hook-up once or twice a month or every other month which is fine for me. Living at home with family obviously complicates things and I never bring anyone home. I have, for whatever reason, been hooking up with lots of married men unexpectedly. I am not searching for this demographic, but there is apparently a lot of "str8" or married men who like dick on the side. There is something hot about knowing that I can please a guy in the way a woman cannot, but I'm sure it's mostly just an ego boost. If I had a group of gay friends, I'm sure this would be the gay equivalent of bragging about sexual conquests in the locker room.
8) I have also "come to terms" with being single. In fact, I am pretty pleased with not being tied down to someone. I see so many of my friends getting married now and it confuses me why anyone would want to waste, what I consider, the "best" years or at least the years where you are physically fit enough to fuck around with little to no physical consequences. For example, if you are hot enough to bang a bunch of people and are doing it safely - why tie yourself down? Although companionship is nice, and I have still not been in a relationship yet, I can get my companionship through my friends.
9) I feel like the Bay Area has been irreparably changed due to the influx of tech people from the Midwest and overseas. I work a lot with clients going through evictions in SF, specifically clients with HIV and AIDS and it pains me to see so many of them being forced out of their homes by greedy landlords who want to do away with rent control. Landlords who have long-term tenants who are in a rent controlled apartment in a desirable location will often find "creative" ways to find a flaw in the tenancy, evict the tenant, redo the apartment and then rent it out for astronomical rates to some white techbro from (insert any Midwestern state) who is willing and able to pay the crazy rent. I feel like the Bay Area isn't what it was before. We've lost something. I think we've lost compassion and communication. The facade of technology is that we are all "connected" to one another, but I think that connection is the exact thing that breaks us apart. People my age would much rather stare at a tiny screen and chat with pictures of faces than look up and stare into the eyes of someone directly across from them. Everything is so impersonal. Which is probably why young adults have zero qualms moving into a neighborhood which was predominantly working-class and forcing all of them out, yet then complain about how it's so white-washed. When you gentrify and get rid of the things that made SF SF or the things that made the Bay unique for the sake of "comfort" or "convenience," you're going to end up with so much sameness. Boutique and specialty stores are just big box stores disguised with whimsy and charm but if you spend more than two seconds thinking about the impact it has on the local community, you realize they're just as bad as Target, Walmart, etc. Do we REALLY need 5 ride-sharing apps, 10 specialty cupcake boutiques, 6 farm-to-table meals in boxes?
10) I am so ready to move on from this law school/bar exam life. I am ready to get out there in the world and make money and help others and advocate on behalf of my clients. I am ready to move out of this house (maybe lol) and find love or find more sex or something. I'm ready to lose weight and work out harder and not buy ill-fitting jeans with saggy asses and still get my Quickly and drink it too. Even though things are a little bit difficult now, I know that everything is transient. I've accomplished a lot in the last few years and I am proud of the person I have become. I definitely still have my faults and I am a constant work in progress. I realize that balance is the one thing in the world that I want for myself. I constantly strive to reach that balance and maybe I never will, but I can always keep trying.
So what has happened to me in the last 3+ years since I posted?
1) I graduated, against all odds, from law school
2) I failed the CA Bar exam twice (July '14, Feb '15) and I am now re-re-re-studying for it again.
3) I realize how not having money completely sucks. I used to complain about it in a funny, lighthearted way. But actually having no real income for over a year and having to work for barely minimum wage with a law degree is degrading. I completely understand where people who are stressed out about money are coming from. It's an incredible stress. The only thing preventing me from achieving the things I want is the Bar exam, but of course, it's this one thing that I have been stuck on for over a year now. I have no doubt that I can pass this test, but there is so much pressure I place on myself.
4) I am STILL living at home, but it's really not that bad at all. My family life has, for the most part, exponentially improved. I feel like law school and all the things I have gone through and maturing at a younger age has paid off. Overall, I feel like I have a pretty good head on my shoulders and I have a great support system of friends and my family (should I decide to confide in them).
5) Kitty is fine. Being a sassy bitch.
6) I am working out a lot. I am medically obese (I'm 5'8" and 220lbs) but I've been working out 4-5x a week for months. I lost 25 pounds last year, but gained a lot of it back due to bar prep. However, I know I can probably make my goal of getting below the 200 mark before the end of the year (which was my goal last year, but whatever). I have pretty terrible self-control issues when it comes to food (namely, Quickly + Cheez-Its + Twizzlers) but there are some things I cannot compromise on.
7) I am still single, although no woefully as I think I would have put it before. I have become more sexually active in the last few years. I usually hook-up once or twice a month or every other month which is fine for me. Living at home with family obviously complicates things and I never bring anyone home. I have, for whatever reason, been hooking up with lots of married men unexpectedly. I am not searching for this demographic, but there is apparently a lot of "str8" or married men who like dick on the side. There is something hot about knowing that I can please a guy in the way a woman cannot, but I'm sure it's mostly just an ego boost. If I had a group of gay friends, I'm sure this would be the gay equivalent of bragging about sexual conquests in the locker room.
8) I have also "come to terms" with being single. In fact, I am pretty pleased with not being tied down to someone. I see so many of my friends getting married now and it confuses me why anyone would want to waste, what I consider, the "best" years or at least the years where you are physically fit enough to fuck around with little to no physical consequences. For example, if you are hot enough to bang a bunch of people and are doing it safely - why tie yourself down? Although companionship is nice, and I have still not been in a relationship yet, I can get my companionship through my friends.
9) I feel like the Bay Area has been irreparably changed due to the influx of tech people from the Midwest and overseas. I work a lot with clients going through evictions in SF, specifically clients with HIV and AIDS and it pains me to see so many of them being forced out of their homes by greedy landlords who want to do away with rent control. Landlords who have long-term tenants who are in a rent controlled apartment in a desirable location will often find "creative" ways to find a flaw in the tenancy, evict the tenant, redo the apartment and then rent it out for astronomical rates to some white techbro from (insert any Midwestern state) who is willing and able to pay the crazy rent. I feel like the Bay Area isn't what it was before. We've lost something. I think we've lost compassion and communication. The facade of technology is that we are all "connected" to one another, but I think that connection is the exact thing that breaks us apart. People my age would much rather stare at a tiny screen and chat with pictures of faces than look up and stare into the eyes of someone directly across from them. Everything is so impersonal. Which is probably why young adults have zero qualms moving into a neighborhood which was predominantly working-class and forcing all of them out, yet then complain about how it's so white-washed. When you gentrify and get rid of the things that made SF SF or the things that made the Bay unique for the sake of "comfort" or "convenience," you're going to end up with so much sameness. Boutique and specialty stores are just big box stores disguised with whimsy and charm but if you spend more than two seconds thinking about the impact it has on the local community, you realize they're just as bad as Target, Walmart, etc. Do we REALLY need 5 ride-sharing apps, 10 specialty cupcake boutiques, 6 farm-to-table meals in boxes?
10) I am so ready to move on from this law school/bar exam life. I am ready to get out there in the world and make money and help others and advocate on behalf of my clients. I am ready to move out of this house (maybe lol) and find love or find more sex or something. I'm ready to lose weight and work out harder and not buy ill-fitting jeans with saggy asses and still get my Quickly and drink it too. Even though things are a little bit difficult now, I know that everything is transient. I've accomplished a lot in the last few years and I am proud of the person I have become. I definitely still have my faults and I am a constant work in progress. I realize that balance is the one thing in the world that I want for myself. I constantly strive to reach that balance and maybe I never will, but I can always keep trying.
apathetic
depressed
sick
blah