Dichotomy Disco

Where have you been?

A little while ago, in an unprecedented move, I took my mopeathon off the air. During the interim some things happened, I changed and made changes, and Mopetastical Mope 2009 ended.

When I was thinking about what I should say in this space after my dramatic flounce-out, I contemplated elaborating on the hilarious-only-in-hindsight events that took place. But this, I concluded, would just be much of the same behavior that was problematic to begin with. ( So here it is.Collapse )

It is fairly obvious that I am losing my job at the video store. Official word and reason are coming, but I've seen the schedule for next month and I am not on it.

I feel very much like this is the last thing.

Until a turnaround, I'm maintaining radio silence. There is only so much.

On "mean girl"ism

I hate the term "mean girl," as though straight dudez aren't catty, manipulative and vicious to each other. However, it is late, you are my friends and this term connotes an understood set of overall behaviors and attitudes that I want to work with sans explanation. (Are we all satisfied with my total excuse for not doing the mental work to find a set of adjectives that means the same thing and isn't colored with sexism? No. Yeah, well...)

For all of my confidence in my ability to read people, read into people's words and actions, and size people up remarkably accurately, I am totally awkward and confused at times. I will admit to occasionally being completely at a loss to explain why certain stereotypical behaviors are chosen and how to respond to them. Case in point: "mean girl"ism.

I'm just sort of confused as to how to respond to "mean girl"ism. My parents were of the "possum" school: ignore them and they'll go away. Honestly, stupid as that seems, I've taken to employing it for workplace assholes (to a point). As a friend said in response to my query "When did I become such a wimp?": when you have to eat and can be fired for standing up for yourself. But what do you do when the hide-and-wait-it-out method is not working?

Thoughts?

I have a lot of things swirling around the brainspace, but none are really prepared for public discourse just yet. Yet, I feel the need to connect in a non-locked entry (this could be boredom, loneliness or some other ephemeral emotion). So here are some questions for you about you and your life.

1.) Yesterday was the first day in... all year... that actually began to feel like summer.** This prompted an almost immediate change in my food cravings.*** So I ask, what is your summer food(s) of choice? And, do your eating habits change noticeably with the seasons?

2.) Also changing in preparation for arrival of the summer is my playlist of choice. I seem to remake these every 2 or 3 months. What is on your (most listened-to recently) playlist?

3.) Two friends of mine from high school**** are coming into town next week. I haven't seen either of them since, roughly, spring of 2002 and sometime in 2006. My current plans for hanging out with them include brunch. And possible beer or wine. But one of them may be straight-edge. Anyhow, what would you serve at a brunch for your old high school friends? And, what would you take you friends to see/do?

4.) S. and I were looking to move in the fall, but it is probably not going to happen. Instead, we've opted to attempt to really home-out our space, which is including moving all of the living room furniture around (eek!). How are you feeling about your current home-space? Would you move if you could? Where would you like to live, ideally? And, do you move your furniture/art/etc. around frequently/often/occasionally/never?

5.) I am always amused by the shifts my reading preferences take. Over the course of a few months I will go from wanting Murakami, to wanting sci-fi, to wanting graphic novels, to wanting academic books on history, to wanting philosophy... et cetera. What are you reading? Do you have these cycles? Where in your (book) cycle are you?

6.) Can you tell I'm using you for ideas?

7.) Since this is an interrogative CONVERSATION, do you have a question?

ETA: 8.) What lies does Gmail tell you? I keep getting this stupid ad that says "Health plans $50/month" yet this is egregious lies.


* Question Time ™ is the express virtual property of one capn_jil, and the physical property of the UK parliament (and some other countries, too).

** Not a question!

*** Nor is this!

**** OMG, I know.

There is hope for dealing with Facebook yet!

http://www.daniels.net.nz/2009/05/…

That link contains instructions and a script for blocking the obnoxious quizzes on Facebook. Yay!

So I was reading an article a friend linked to and an interesting question/challenge came out of the discussion. Now the article itself is full of fail for many reasons, the majority of which are eloquently pointed out here. So I'm not going to talk about that. I am, however, going to ask for your opinions, dear friends, on an issue brought up in the discussion of the article.

Let me first say that I will be paraphrasing the discussion to the best of my ability. In part, I don't know that one can really ask permission to post a Facebook discussion without being really rude, and, also, I don't want the discussion of the main issue to be side tracked by some other things that cropped up in the commentary. So, understand that this is my presentation of a conversation wherein my privilege was directly challenged.

Me: {blah blah blah I hated that article. Feminism, the patriarchy, blah blah.} On another note, can we really be surprised during the age of the Apatowian movie reign?

Other person: What do you mean, "Apatowian movie reign"?

Me: Judd Apatow (is a douche). He, and his ilk, have bred a movement of movies featuring over-grown man-children that are misogynist, racist, able-ist (I can't spell that word for the fucking life of me. My brain won't have it, for some reason) AND homophobic.

Other person: Sometimes I think they are funny, but maybe I'm just too low-brow.

Me: I didn't mean to come off as a judgmental asshole. I accept and embrace that it is possible for some people to like things that I don't think are cool, and still be good people. I just am disappointed in the fact that the movies make jokes about oppressed people and excuse themselves with "it's just a joke."

Other person: I didn't think you were being judgmental as much as one-sided. My kid has an obvious disability, and I find that laughter can make those jokes less hurtful.

Me: Huh. I am usually frustrated when people who are frequently the butt of jokes remain the butt of jokes, but this is something to think about.

And so...
What do you think? Even in a movie/book/TV show/etc where I think it's safe to say there is not even an attempt at reclamation going on, can jokes sometimes be spun so that laughing at them makes the joke less painful?
Or did I miss Other person's point completely?

I am thrilled by the fact that, when I have a dream where I am having sex with a stranger for the wrong reasons, I still manage to get clear consent every step of the way.

The universe has truly excellent timing.

I was on the plane with a Reed alum and a Whole Foods natural remedy enthusiast. I was entertained and, when I realized that the events of the week have caused my body to completely shut down, I was provided with a plethora of naturopathic cold medicines.

I totally still have a sinus infection, but it feels less... uh... deathy.

It's nice to be home, sort of. It'd be nicer to be home and be able to canoodle.

I am fucking excited y'all.



Seriously.



Call me. Limited internet access.

A few small thoughts on some big things...

Why aren't there a slew of bills trying to ban vasectomies... particularly when plenty of news sources cite that vasectomies are currently on the rise, and are a form of birth control? So why are vasectomies not addressed in a bunch of the yammering and insane state bills up for debate on access to birth control, Plan B, abortions and basic sexual health information? I think you know what answer I'm thinking of... 'cause all of the other things I can think of prompt a look not unlike that my father gave me when I said, "I don't know why [my brother] is crying and has a big red mark on his arm. He must've hit himself. He does that, you know."

On the women's health topic... I watched a documentary on breast implants called Absolutely Safe. It's not an entirely balanced picture, but it can be argued that, perhaps, the voice of the opposing side being somewhat louder is necessary given the specific lack of it in the mainstream. There was a customer I was chatting with a few months ago. I can't recall the conversation, but I ended up recommending Absolutely Safe to her. Tonight she came into the store. After establishing that I was the one who recommended the movie to her, she took me aside and told me that she had had breast cancer and a subsequent double mastectomy. She said that her doctor had convinced her to get silicone implants. She stated that, lately, she'd been feeling ill and had pains on one side of her body. She suspected that her implants were leaking. She talked to her doctor, who assured her nothing of the sort was happening. Then she saw the documentary. She became concerned and went to a detox center, where she's still being treated. She then spoke with her doctor and said she wanted to remove her implants and he ridiculed her. She is still getting them out. She said that watching the documentary might have saved her life. I couldn't do anything but look at her, at first. Then I said, "I am so glad. It is so important to take care of yourself."

I fixed a serious virus on the computer at work. I win at geekdom.

I am totally dissatisfied with my new job and am ashamed that, after working so hard to get through school and earning my degree, I am working a low-paying, grunt job and still am not making enough to pay my bills (which, of course, are there because I went to school). I am ashamed of being a failure, and ashamed that I still have a hard time being truly proud of myself for getting through school.

I am totally stoked to be in Portland, even if I technically can't afford it.

The cat eats paint chips and house centipedes. I'm actually not sure which disturbs me more.