I have been pissed and stewing and sick about this all day

and I know everyone's probably read all about it, but I'm going to throw in my few cents.

The original post: Open Source Boob Project wherein theferrett and his friends thought it would be oh-so-spiffy to set up a "let's go grope as many women as possible and call it research" game at a recent Con.

Apparently - and I will admit to not reading all his post and comments because it was making me physically ill - this was actually spread over *2* cons. Eventually it developed to the point of making buttons that said "yes you make ask" (green, natch) and "no you may not" (red, bien sur). But - and this is important - the buttons and the 'don't ask if she's wearing a red button or not wearing a button at all was NOT how the game was originally structured.

Yes, some of the participants were female. theferrett says there were 3 women and 4 men... but miracle of miracles!!!!!!!! it was the women that did the majority of the groping! Not the men! This wasn't about sex! This wasn't about getting a cheap thrill by feeling up women!

Except where it totally was. Where he flat out admits they asked women - or rather had the women participants ask women - based on the attire or costume of the women being approached. He also says the initial approach was done by the women on 'the team' and then the guys would also ask if they could feel the woman up. Niiiiiiiiiiice. Dunno if the participants were consciously aware of it or not, but that feels to me like "double your pleasure" for the guys - first they get (as someone else said, it's not my creation) the Girls Gone Wild Performance Lesbian Action and then they get to check out the titties themselves!

So they picked what women to approach based on their attire. On whether their "assets were displayed" in such a way to make it OBVIOUS that all the sluts women wanted was some good ol' boy hands on their tits to validate their worth as women! Yeah - he mentions that some women approached them, asking if their breasts were worthy of the Magic Male Touch of Validation of being touched. But! He says he's 'not into pity gropes' so he would only lay the Touch of Validation on women he considered pretty or sexy enough for him.

But this isn't about sex. Oh, no! This is about non-sexual touching. Yeah, right.

He now posts that he regrets posting this, that he doesn't advocate this game being transferred to other Cons. Which is certainly NOT what he first posted - he was actively promoting this as a Really Great Thing To Do. So ... yeah, actually, I'm pretty damn sure we're going to see some version of this shit at Dragon*Con and other heavily-male-attended cons.

Please note: he and his cohort may have been perfectly respectful, perfectly polite and accepted a "no" from women so approached. I don't know what planet he lives on but on Planet Woman - in my life experience - there are a whole bunch 'o' guys that are going to leap on this game as a great way to harrass women. Not that they're going to see it that way, of course. But can you, or theferrett, or the women that joined the ferrett in this game REALLY believe that all men are going to be equally respectful? Equally willing to accept a "no" from a woman that doesn't chose to welcome the Male Hands Of Validation on her breasts?

I spent most of the afternoon considering - what would I do if I am approached at Dragon*Con? As this is my fun time away from my family, where I can dress sexier than I can in my real life (corsets, mini skirts, etc). Fair notice guys: strange men demand request to touch my girls, I'll agree - after they give me permission to kick them in the balls. Why not? Aren't I entitled to get something out of this exchange too?

Links to people way smarter than me on this subject:

Restriction
the_red_shoes
kate-nepveu
cereta
nestra
the brat queen
telesilla
esorlehcar


ETA: More links:
praetorianguard
darkrosetiger
txvoodoo
springheel-jack (this one is particularly interesting as it's written by a man. a little scholarly, but interesting)
snacky
coffeeandink She's got a couple of really interesting follow up posts too.

and veejane on why cons (and other places) are not the Safe Places they are sometimes perceived to be.

Also? If you feel I've gone "over the top" on this or any other subject, please feel free to defriend me at any time. No drama.


ETA to the ETA: We made Jezebel. ::facepalm:: Actually, there's a lot less "oh those freaky geeky people" going on there than I expected - and a lot more "that's just plain creepy". So YAY Jezzies, I should never have doubted you.