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intentionally leaving bad punctuation/capitalization/spelling/abbreviations in my work messages because everything smells so AI and I'm rolling my communication in the mud to fend off the stink
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Eva, world famous polyglot watching Grace pick up an entirely alien language in six month on the Vlogs after she dragged him all over the world for four years, having people speak English for his benefit, and translating for him while listening to him whine and winge about his own TeRrIbLe PrOnOuNcIaTiOn, knowing full well now he probably understood what everyone was saying around him just fine after six months, actually: Better stay up there...
Dimitri: What was that?
Eva in perfect Russian, glaring at the screen, Grace and Rocky having an arguement she can only understand half of: I said he better stay up there.
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I’m just thinking about how many times I’ve heard my dad on a long call with an obvious scammer and I’ll start begging him to get off the phone because I always think he’s a very easy mark and he’ll just keep going and then after a while he’ll say something like “I died 20 years ago” and hang up.
Virgin Millennial Daughter with 20 hrs of screentime a day: Dad! They’re scamming you! Dad! Stop! They will take your savings and your identity! Hang up before they SWAT you!
Chad Boomer dad with a flip phone he has not recharged since 2014: Well gee I wish I could give you my bank account number after you spent all this time on the phone explaining this car deal with me but I don’t have access to my finances because I am in Rikers for felony murder.
I haven't actively used this site in years but this grabbed my imagination so thoroughly I had to draw it
wow that really is calvin's dad energy
[Image description: Comic strip in the style of Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin's dad is on the phone and says "Why, yes, I am in the market for a new car!" Calvin, depicted as a punk-ish teen girl, is passing by. As the person on the other end of the phone blathers about money and cars, Calvin yells at her dad: "Dad! They're scamming you! Dad! Stop! They'll take your savings and identity!" She throws her arms in the air and cries, "Hang up before-" Her dad interrupts by calmly telling the person on the phone, "Well gee I wish I could give you my bank account number after you spent all this time on the phone explaining this car deal with me but I don’t have access to my finances because I am in Rikers for felony murder." Calvin stares at her dad, stunned. He smiles up at her and says, "Next time I'm going to say I'm dead!" End description.]
Reblogged onyxlikesstuff
everyone hates orange until they actually see her in context. "oh it's such an ugly color, too bright!" look at sunsets and autumn, look at campfires and deserts. she's the most beautiful and special part of the scene. now apologize.
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Hades gives Orpheus a trial he knows he himself could never succeed at, but it isn’t just that Hades knows he would turn around. Hades has been failing this trial every single year. He shows up too early. He turns too soon. He is so full of doubt that even the natural order of the world, that Persephone will return to him, is not something he can trust. Hades would fail the trial he has given Orpheus, and he already has. All alone, his blood runs thin.
you!!! are!!! not!!! running!!! out!!! of!!! time!!!
it literally doesn’t matter if you’re in your 20s or 30s or 40s or 50s or 60s or 70s or 80s or fucking 90s. if you’re still alive, you literally still have that chance in your hands. don’t let your mind or anyone or anything trick you into thinking otherwise!!!!
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so you’re telling me one of the characters in wake up dead man is a formerly beloved author who, after the culmination of his wildly popular fiction series, has been radicalized online by right-wing conspiracy theorists, has abandoned his successful writing career in favor of spending all of his time on social media (and what little writing he does put out on his substack is praised only by his staunchest supporters), and is SO convinced that everyone’s out to get him that he’s dug a literal moat around his (distinctly castle-shaped) house?
lol. lmao, even.
Reblogged questionableaardvark
I've brought you.. a gift!
reblog to bring prev a gift
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"The hearts of men are easily corrupted." Wake Up Dead Man (2025) & Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Bonus for @mykingdomforasong:
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despite the fact that jud's form and view of christianity is a very pleasant one, i appreciate that no part of benoit blanc is converted. it's not like i expected benoit to become a christian obviously, but i expected him to potentially stay for a service at the end, when invited. or to show appreciation for what jud is building at his church. even just appreciation that he's welcome.
after the whole movie, when benoit is given the invite, he still says there's nothing he wants less than to stay in that church. it's very, very reasonable and realistic of a traumatized atheist, but i almost never see it depicted in this way. usually they come around to "see the beauty" in one way or another. i just really appreciate that they didn't do that.
Reblogged eileenlufkin
i do think theres something sad about how largely only the literature that's considered especially good or important is intentionally preserved. i want to read stuff that ancient people thought sucked enormous balls
Time to take this post entirely too seriously:
- I often wonder if this is why you so commonly see the sentiment that we are in an era of uniquely bad literature, or at least that the fact that most books don't have artistic aspirations and are not aiming to be anything other than mindless entertainment is new. In fact what's new is the idea that everything is worth preserving (and also the internet making it easier to preserve it). The dumb artistically unambitious trash books of the past have survived only sporadically, because people thought of them as literally disposable.
- When I was in college I had a professor who was an expert on detective fiction. He had a longstanding beef with the idea that "Murders in the Rue Morgue" was the first detective story. He thought that it seemed way too polished to be inventing a new genre, and also that the whole orangutan business had the vibe of someone subverting preexisting audience expectations and maybe engaging in a bit of stealth parody. With the help of some student volunteers, he went trawling through old magazines and newspapers and found hundreds of detective stories from the early 1800s that just hadn't garnered enough individual attention to be remembered. This was because most of them sucked balls. He created an online archive of them, so you too can read these mostly terrible stories.
I've spent a ridiculous amount of time on Project Gutenberg sifting through forgotten old fiction and lemme tell ya. a lot of that stuff sucks ass.
Tremendously comforting, really.
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Rocky stumbles on Grace crying in his room, a card in his hands
Rocky: grace grace grace ok grace ok what wrong question
Grace: it's just... these cards! They seem so passive-aggressive, I... what if they hate me, Rock?
Rocky looks over Grace's shoulder at the writing in the card. It reads "Hi.". He looks from the card in Grace's hand to the ones on his shelf entailing "go fuck yourself", "we are coming for you" and "we will knock you out cold", amongst others.
Rocky: um
Grace: the full stop after "hi" is throwing me Rock I really think they hate me